Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by bigbluesuburban, Sep 7, 2006.
"I can clearly see your nuts"
"The police blotter said, 'Small Medium at Large'"
"aarghhh, it's drivin' me nuts"
I just got this from my wife in my mail :
>A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down. the mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
>The son sees his mom and asks, "what were you and Dad doing?"
>The mother replies, "well, you know your dad has a big tummy and
>sometimes I have to get on top of it and help flatten it."
>"Your wasting your time," said the boy.
>"Why is that?" the mom asked puzzled.
>"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on
>her knees and blows it right back up."
".....well, I can't remember the rest of it, but your mother's a whore!"
"surely you must be joking"
"My names not Shirley"
"Whats your vector victor?"
Oh I'm sorry... I thought those were your tonsils...
......with a friggin 12 gauge........
"...and then the squirrel said, 'THOSE AREN'T MY NUTS!"
If it was Chuck Norris, nobody would survive.
Before my cat could say f a w k, the Rottweiler ate him
Does your dog bite ? No. AAAARRRRR CHOMP!!!! I thought you said your dog doesn' bite! Thats not my dog...
I have probably heard this one twenty bazillion times. You tell someone your last name is Shirley and shazzam out comes that damn line every time.
I'm surgical with this b!tch.
"Everybody knows your mom makes the best breakfast burritos in town."
He needed the money...
"You look hungry, can I warm you up a burrito"
my personal favorite-it works too.
"You like Duck Sausage? why dontcha duck on down there and get some"
Separate names with a comma.