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Friends and business agreements... bad. Why?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mountainexplorer, Jan 10, 2005.

  1. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    We all know for the most part that mixing friends with any sort of business arrangement or agreement is bad and advised against. But why?

    Even if one side upholds the original agreement and is patient, what makes the other side want to break or stretch things to the limit?

    Maybe what I'm looking for is opinions on why people are the way they are... or more fittingly, the way that you didn't think they would be.
     
  2. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    think about this. Think of your slacker best friend, we all have one, and now think about him dealing with YOUR money. I say hell no to that.
     
  3. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    Sometimes it's just payments of some sort and not specifically a best friend. Even with an agreement or contract, what makes it so hard to follow a contract with someone you know verses someone you don't.

    It's because people think that cause you know them you'll wait forever and the agreement or contract doesn't matter. I never think that way... well, sure, I've owed friends money before, and asked for more time if I could see I was going to be late. But if theres an excuse more than twice after being late or contact starts being avoided... then something's up.

    Maybe in my situation, since people think I have so much stuff and we have property that we own and maintain, we should just give things away for free??
     
  4. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    Yup...and if you don't think of any one of your friends is a slacker....that means it's you.:D
     
  5. 84_Chevy_K10

    84_Chevy_K10 Banned

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    I give so much crap away its insane, or for $50 or $100. My friends do the same. It's a fair deal if you ask me. If you're not using it, who cares?
     
  6. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Business agreements with friends are bad because you have a higher trust in them, and are less likely to suspect any fraud with them. Even if the idea crosses your mind when the books look a little funny, you would probably dismiss fraud with the "He wouldn't do that" line.

    That's not to say every friend-biz-partnership goes south, but there is more at stake in it. You have a bad experience, you can be ignorant of it too long, and burn a friendship, both through the same experience.
    Also, you may know them to be a great friend, and skilled at maybe dealing with people, I.E. Sales, and you may unconsciously assume that applies to every aspect of thier lives. Meanwhile, they may actually be horrendous at accounting or even just responsibility.

    Think also of this:
    If you went into an agreement with a friend, how likely would you be to sell thier debt to a ruthless collection agency? Probably not too likely.

    If you went into an agreement with a stranger, how likely would you be to sell thier debt to a ruthless collection agency? Probably not likely that you wouldn't.


    When bad things happen, it's harder to recover when you're unconsciously trying not to destroy a friendship at the same time.
     
  7. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    For me, its no big deal with friend and parts and stuff, if I lose out on some deals. $100 or $150 isn't what I'm concerned about. It's the fact that you'd think friends would keep their word. This isn't on a personal note even. I let alot of stuff go. But when my mom or my mom's boyfriend get screwed over by people who know me, its different.

    Like my mom's boyfriend sold a car to some people we know for $600, $100 down and $100 a month payments. He let them take the car and trusted them cause they used me as an excuse as a friend. I wasn't there when the deal happened, but as soon as I heard about it I got worried. And here we are, 6 months later... the car is blown up, no payments have been made since the initial $100, and they are avoiding the subject. I'm about ready to repo it, but its not even running anymore.

    We have a rental house that we rented out for cheap, under a contract. The rent payments from the start have either been late or not as much as agreed upon. My mom was patient not even taking a deposit, then finally confronted the late issue and was called rude and greedy for it.

    I'm just getting tired of the BS. I'm the sort of person who looks at the situation, and both sides, and if my mom is unfair, I tell her, but she hasnt been in the slightest. It's like people get what they want then become totally different people. For me, I can forgive, and understand financial stress. But it's hard for my mom to get over being personally attacked for wanting to be paid what was agreed upon even though it was late; and hard for her boyfriend to take back a car that is worth hardly anything now and have to repo it at that.

    I still like these people as people. But stuff needs to change. I'll never speak to anyone out of anger or stress. If an agreement is made, I'll stick by it. I'm not perfect, and I don't espect everyone to be... but when you get things like this happening with alot of people you know (more than just the two examples I told), it gets old. I just realize that humans are humans, and when given the chance, everyone is out for themselves. I guess all we can do is watch out for ourselves too. I'm the sort of person that would rather get the bad end of the deal than feel like I screwed over the other person.
     
  8. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    Dealing with friends and family can be tough. Sometimes it works in your favor, sometimes against you. I know of a couple good points in my family. Years ago my uncle got in an accident with my grandfather's (mom's dad) late 60's early 70's ton dump truck. Both my other uncle and my dad were interested in it. My grandfather told my uncle $1,200 and my dad $1,000. Then he went off and sold it for $800 to a stranger who gave him $200 or $300 down. He never saw the guy or the money after the downpayment. When both my uncle or my dad would have been good for the money and all. Same grandfather sold not too long ago a pair of lots to 2 of 3 of my uncles. One was charged $500/acre and the other $1,000/acre and the lots are right next to each other! :haha: And then he goes and lets me have a 35 acre piece of land for something like $200ish/acre. So sometimes things are weird with people you know well. :screwy:
     
  9. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    We expect more and demand less from our friends. Then because of the extra trust we have in them we are usually "blindsided" when they act in their own interest. Little used parts sales are one thing, but be VERY cautious about getting into any business arrangement with anyone without having everything spelled out in writting.
     
  10. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    Even with things spelled out in writing, it doesnt work. :confused:


    Then the side trying to uphold the contract becomes the "bad side". Just as life is, it's not fair. At least with people you don't know, it's easier to break a contract with. But if that must be done with friends... it always leaves bad side effects afterwards.
     
  11. uao85

    uao85 1/2 ton status

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    You know what, I can honestly say I feel the same way. Granted, like you, I have more than once done a "friend" a favor and end up regretting it later down the road when they keep asking for favors or just screw me over entirely. That really gripes me too, because I try to be as honest and straight forward as I can with people I do and dont know very well. It just goes to show, that the world is full of stupid people. Too bad I dont live in your neck of the woods, or I would help you get some of the money out of those lazy bastards. Sort of like a repo business...hmmmm I can see it now. Them waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a missing kidney....haha. Well good luck with your situation, I hope either you get your money or they get a clue.

    Remington
    .
     

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