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From The WTF? Files

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bubba Ray Boudreaux, Dec 8, 2006.

  1. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Early this morning, we were hanging out at the local greasy spoon. I usually don't partake of their food from the grill. It's overpriced, tastes like crap and the portions are somewhat small. I usually stick with the chips, which are usually a few days old and cold, but I ordered a cheeseburger against my better judgement.

    When we go there, we very rarely check out there and a lot of times, stay after it's our time to go off duty. It makes sense since most of us live out in the county (I live 30 miles away from the office) and if there's a call, there's no since to call out a morning shift person while we are still out.

    I barely got done with my fries (last item of garbage food and starting to feel the urge) when dispatch calls me up. Elderly man in distressed, has fallen and all we have is a phone number. On call back, the line is busy. All we have from the phone number is the area, which is one of our unincorporated towns, but there's a lot of farm houses that have the same prefix. So I load up and start that way and leave the investigative work of finding the place to the SGT and everyone else.

    I get out of town and hit the jets and all I can say is that for a car that is going to roll 100K miles tonight, it's still a screaming bird of prey. Twenty degree air temperature and I was pegged real quick.

    During my drive out, they found out an address to the caller. Now usually, most of our calls get some wild description like 1/4 north of Highway whatever, 1/8 east, .5 north and with those type of directions, I have to stop and look at my map. Most people don't realize that they can just give me crossroads and I'll get there. On top of that, we got a street address and most houses are not well marked and well lit.

    I'm also dreading what I'm going to find. The potential for the door being locked is high, the potential for this gentleman to be in serious trouble is high and things are not looking good.

    I get to the location and ring the door bell and bang on the door, announcing myself. I can see through the door window, but don't see anyone. I check the door and sure enough it's locked. The SGT was a few minutes behind me, so I decided that if he didn't give me the order over the radio, I'd just wait for him.

    Within seconds, here comes a female to the door. I'm instantly breathing a sigh of relief, but I still don't know what I'm going to find. She opens up and lets me in and tells me that her dad had fallen out of bed, but everything is okay. Her parents have a lifeline type setup and the man had tripped the phone, setting off the alarm and it's automatically set to notify her and she lives just a few blocks away.

    So we go into the bedroom and he is in bed along with his wife. Both are 96 years old. She's deaf and couldn't hear his cries of help, but the daughter had showed up and took care of everything. So I talk with him, asking him if he is okay. I'm looking at the bed, which is not really that low to the floor and he is telling me everything is okay and he doesn't need the ambulance. he even goes so far as to jump out of bed and walks around. :D

    So I clear out of there and advise my dispatch that the ambulance can be canceled. I'm still in awe how he was able to take such a tumble at his age and don't have anything broken. I would imagine back in his younger days, he was probably one of the toughest SOB's walking around.:D
     
  2. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Gotta be nice to get a false alarm once in a while.
     
  3. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    We used to have good men . Now everybody gets to grow up and reproduce .
     
  4. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    Damn 96 years old. My back is still killing me from moving and driving Wednesday,and I'm only 27 years old..



    SO are you sitting in the office writing up the report? The important thing is did you get to finish your cheeseburger?
     
  5. bear76

    bear76 1/2 ton status

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    My grandmother, 85, fell down a flight of wooden stairs a few weeks ago and came away with some nasty bruises but was fine otherwise.
     
  6. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    I'm pretty sure that if I had to lift my leg to fart I could break a hip...:doah:
     
  7. bear76

    bear76 1/2 ton status

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    Ow, I broke my fart bone:haha:
     
  8. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    What is the fart bone connected too?
     
  9. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Da stank bone...
     
  10. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Nope, no report. Finished the cheeseburger, but right after I cleared that call, I have a verified, peel the paint off the walls, three flusher Code Brown. Luckily for me I was only about 20 miles away from the house. :D
     
  11. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    LOL.. Good to hear everything came out allright. :haha:
     
  12. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Well, because of where I work, I have to plan these things out. If I stick to my side of the county, it's usually not too bad. I have three safehouses that I can hit, a fourth if need be. My house, a department 10 miles away, the firehouse across the street if no one is available, and my office. The bad thing is they are all up north. I have nothing down south.

    If I'm out west, then the prospects are sad. Maybe one safe location that is west of my office. I don't normally work out there, but sometimes I do.

    And one night it happened. I was out west and far, far away. I started making tracks to the office, but success was not looking good. It finally got to the point that I had to pull off onto a dirt road. It was also very f'n cold that night. Now most cops strip down. Off comes the duty shirt, vest, and belt. Makes life easy. I also don't carry TP in the car. I do carry a roll of paper towels. Ever since the night that I had to utilize blue shop towels out in the middle of the Mojave during a race, I haven't been scared.

    I also have a pretty compliant system. There are certain foods I will not eat while working, just because the allure of being one with nature out in the middle of nowhere, especially when it's either asscracking cold or bugs that feed on your blood is in the air; I prefer the comfort of nicely formed porcelin with a few options of reading material available.

    Of course when you work in an area where stories of prank greatness include following your buddy and waiting for him to stop to take care of business and high powered, automatic weapons are used in the prank, I don't need the added stress of having one of my coworkers catch me with my pants down.:D
     
  13. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    :D :D :D :D
    Literally

    2 points for the gentleman and 3 for Bubba from the foul line.
     
  14. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    If ya had smelled what was coming out this morning, it would be an automatic ejection from the game:haha:
     
  15. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    Ah one of those..

    [The rock's voice] If you smellllalalala....what the Bubba is cookin [the rock's voice off]
     

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