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Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, May 27, 2003.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    Two blondes decided to rob a bank together. The first blonde, Judy plans
    the robbery and goes over the plan with the second blonde, Buffie, in
    great detail. The robbery begins.

    Judy drives up in front of the bank, stops the car and says to Buffie,
    "I want to make absolutely sure you understand the plan. You are
    supposed to be in and out of the bank in no more than three minutes with
    the cash. Do you understand the plan?"

    "Perfectly," said Buffie.

    Buffie goes in the bank while Judy waits in the getaway car.

    One minute passes . . . Two minutes pass . . . Seven minutes pass . . .
    and Judy is really stressing out.

    Finally, the bank doors burst open! And here comes Buffie. She's got a
    safe wrapped up in rope and is dragging it to the car. About the time
    she gets the safe in the trunk of the car, the bank doors burst open
    again as the security guard comes running out with his pants and
    underwear down around his ankles.

    As the gals are getting away, Judy says "You are such a blonde! I
    thought you understood the plan!"

    Buffie said, "I did . . . I did exactly what you said!"

    "No, you idiot," said Judy. "I said tie up the GUARD and blow the SAFE!"

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    President Bush made history yesterday by becoming the first president to
    land a jet plane on a moving aircraft carrier. First time a president
    has ever done a tail hook landing. Don't get him confused with President
    Bill Clinton, who hooked a lot of tail. (Jay Leno)

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    No Sex Since 1955

    A local liberal arts college was hosting a gala cocktail party at a large hotel. Among the guests was a stern-faced Army colonel. There was no shortage of idealistic young ladies in attendance, one of which approached the colonel for conversation.

    She said, "Excuse me sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?"

    "No," said the colonel, "just serious by nature."

    The young lady looked at his numerous medals and awards and said, "You look like you've seen a lot of action."

    The colonel just grunted.

    The young lady was tiring of the lack of conversation and said, "You know, you should lighten up. Enjoy yourself a little."

    The colonel just stared with a stern look.

    Finally the lady said, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but - when was the last time you had sex?"

    The colonel's eyes widened as he said, "1955."

    "Well, there you go!", said the lady. "You need to chill out and stop taking stuff so seriously. I mean, no sex since 1955! Isn't that a bit extreme?"

    The colonel looked at her, then looked at his watch. "I don't think so," he said in his matter-of-fact manner,"It's only 2130 now..."
     
  2. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2001
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    Location:
    Northern Virginia
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  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    portland oregon
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  4. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Richmond, VA
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  5. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2002
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    Location:
    Mayberry (Auburn, WA)
    [ QUOTE ]
    "It's only 2130 now..."

    [/ QUOTE ]


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