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Funny and On Target

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by firefighter184, Feb 25, 2005.

  1. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    He writes a column called "If I Were King" for a New Jersy paper called the Tri-County Times. In this one he is responding to readers comments on earlier columns. At the end is a column he wrote on why the Democrats lost that is right on target.

    If I were king

    [​IMG]

    More fan mail

    As an attorney who is accustomed to making a living by being articulate, concise and intelligent, even I can't find the words to express my disgust with you, and the newspaper that prints your radical rantings, for the disservice your article on lawyers did to every decent, moral attorney out there. I think you owe us an apology.

    - Michael R.

    You got it Mikey. My sincere apologies to every decent, moral attorney out there - both of them.



    I take great umbrage with your slanted, malicious, attack on the honorable profession of law. Clearly you fail to grasp the concept of the law so here is a free education: If it isn't illegal, then it must be legal. Attorneys don't write the laws, we simply follow them.

    - Sharon M.

    I'm sure that's a great comfort to Nicole Simpson's and Ron Goldman's families.



    How convenient for the King that he is too old to be drafted. Have you ever noticed that it's always the old guys who are in favor of a draft. Give me one good reason why you didn't demand a draft when you were 18?

    - William T.

    I'll do better than that Billy boy, I'll give you 295. That was my lottery draft number based on my birth date. And who are you calling old, you whippersnapper!



    I think that I speak for most attorneys when I say that there are so many things that I dislike about Foster Childs and his bombastic tirades that it would be difficult to list them all in this newspaper.

    - Phillip W.

    That's most unfortunate Phil, because there's only two things I dislike about attorneys - their face.



    I agree with you on the sad state of today's so-called celebrities. Whatever happened to real stars like Elizabeth Taylor. Now there was a woman who personified class and grace. Keep up the good work.

    - Ella C.

    Class and grace? The woman was married so many times she has rice scars on her face. Remember Ella, nothing ever changes in Hollywood - same old @$$#o!*s, just different heads screwed on.


    Your Republican rhetoric is becoming tiresome and redundant. Why don't you write about Michael Moore, a man who is not afraid to speak out and tell the truth. That's the definition of a true patriot.

    - Greg G.

    Hmmm, here's a quote from your "true patriot" from a speech he made in France: "Americans are possibly the dumbest people on the planet ... Americans suffer from an enforced ignorance. We don't know about anything that's happening outside our country. Our stupidity is embarrassing." If I found this "true patriot" floating in my pool, I'd punish my dog.



    My friends and I all agree that you are an utter ass and a fool. Your bigoted, inflammatory articles are a detriment to our communities and our country. Your 10 minutes has long been up, why don't you just disappear.

    - Allen R.

    Well, you're not alone, Al. My mom once sent me a note that said, "Don't come home and all will be forgiven." And how come no one ever vanishes with a trace?



    Hey King, I'm sure you know a few lawyer jokes, what's your favorite?

    - Ken J.

    What do you get when you cross a greedy, dishonest lawyer with a lying, cheating politician? Chelsea Clinton.

    Opinions offered in If I Were King are the author's alone and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Tri-County Times or its staff. E-mail the King at king@tctimes.com.

    ©Tri-County Times 2005
    ------------------------
    AN HONEST EVALUATION
    by Foster Childs,

    December 5, 2004 - Tri-County Times, Mercer Cty., NJ

    The devil you know, or the devil you don't.

    That's how many John Kerry supporters explained their defeat in the 2004 election.

    Democrats appear to be genuinely astounded that they didn't win. Many blame their loss on the Republican party's ability to present itself as representing people of moral values. Clearly that astounds them. "How could we be perceived as the party without values" they ask.

    As one who embraced many Democratic principles as recently as the election of 2000, allow me to answer.

    Laura Bush has personified elegance and class as America's First Lady for four years. The Democratic party countered with a vulgar, foulmouthed, brazen billionaire with the grace of a drunken hooker. Teresa Heinz-Kerry insulted every mother in America when she snidely stated in an interview that "I doubt Laura Bush has ever held a real job." I can't envision a more ill-suited candidate to represent our country as First Lady.

    To most Americans Ted Kennedy is a philandering, has-been alcoholic whose money and influence allowed him to get away with murder. To the Democratic party, Kennedy is their esteemed elder statesman.

    The Democratic party's most vocal spokesperson is Michael Moore, an arrogant ass who holds America, and Americans, in utter contempt. He delights in telling the French and Germans how stupid we are. He mocks our military. He insults our president. His "Joe Average" persona is as bogus as the "facts" in his slanted books and movies. Most Americans despise him as a traitor and a slob. Yet, at the Democratic National Convention Moore was afforded the most honored seat in the house - right alongside former president Jimmy Carter.

    Most Americans view gay men and women as simply fellow citizens who should be afforded the same respect as any other citizen. The Democratic party views gay men and women as a minority whose perceived "rights" should supercede the established tenets that have governed society since the beginning of time.

    The majority of America understands that we must take a stand against terrorism, that terrorists are the essence of pure evil, that terrorists will always hate America and Americans, no matter what we do. The Democratic party seems to believe that if we just turn the other cheek they will go away. Their mantra of "wrong war, wrong place, wrong time" smacks of pacifism.

    Most Americans would find an adult male who wears makeup, high heels, a wig and women's clothing to his workplace as not just creepy, but deeply disturbing. The Democratically controlled California legislature passed a law providing fines up to $150,000 for any employer who fires a man for showing up to work dressed as a woman. Every Democrat cast a 'yes' vote.

    To most of America the entertainment industry is comprised primarily of dull-witted, self-absorbed twits who, under the guise of "artistic _expression," fill our living rooms and our children's brains with an endless parade of depraved garbage. The vociferous Tinseltown endorsement of John Kerry merely confirmed what most of America already knows - the Democratic party reflects Hollywood's moral values, not America's.

    The consensus by Republicans, and a surprising number of Democrats, is near unanimous - the Democratic party is in ruins because they have chosen to align themselves with all that is wrong in America. They mock people of faith. They endorse special-interest agendas that tear apart the fabric of our Constitution. They embrace race-baiting opportunists like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson. They support wacko organizations such as the ACLU. And, worst of all, they offer America as heroes - as people to emulate, as role-models for our children - shameless charlatans like Ted Kennedy, Michael Moore and Bill Clinton.

    The answer to the question is very simple: The Democratic party is perceived as the party without moral values because they are a party without moral values.

    And, as shown on November 2nd, the majority of America is finally realizing it.
     
  2. ktedesco

    ktedesco 1/2 ton status

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    Good post. I printed it up to give to a young 'gentleman' at work that recently expressed some very liberal views right in front of me and some other guys. All individuals present during his rant were prior service. His comments pertained to the military members in Iraq. To say that he received an earfull would be a severe understatement.:mad: I 'politely' asked him "Are you insulting the efforts I made serving in Iraq for a year as an Infantryman?"
     
  3. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Little ****** would have got his ass handed to him. You could always claim that you had a flashback:D
     
  4. ktedesco

    ktedesco 1/2 ton status

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    Would have loved to but he is senior to me. Had to use tact.

    Would have been quite humorous though.

    Bystander: "Someone call the cops, those two cops over there are fighting":D
     
  5. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    Most Excellent!! :saweet::thumb::waytogo:
     
  6. firefighter184

    firefighter184 1/2 ton status

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    Probably one of those cops who hates having to wear a gun. The same guy, who because he hates guns, never cleans his or practices with it except when the boss sends him to the range for yearly re-quals. A**hole. Doesn't he know that the left will have him using hugs against bank robbers, and the right (not called "right" for no reason...) will let him shoot on a pre-emptive basis? When are we gonna hook up?
     
  7. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Here, here. Well put man!
     

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