Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Funny HaHa

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jun 7, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    19,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Everywhere
    Sent to me by a friend........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... XPRESSIONS FOR WOMEN ON
    HIGH STRESS DAYS
    <12 and 22 are my favs>
    1. You - Off my planet.
    2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
    3. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
    4. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    5. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be.....?
    6. I'm not a bitch, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
    7. Allow me to introduce my selves.
    8. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
    9. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
    10. I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
    11. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    12. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't
    sleeping.
    13. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
    14. How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
    15. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
    16. You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
    17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
    18. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
    19. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my job is done here.
    20. Earth is full. Go home.
    21. Is it time for your medication or mine?
    22. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    23. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

    It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if
    the winter was going to be cold or mild.

    Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the
    old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was
    going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the
    safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and
    that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

    But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to
    the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming
    winter going to be cold?"

    "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold
    indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.

    So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in
    order to be prepared.

    A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a
    very cold winter?"

    "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's definitely going to
    be a very cold winter."

    The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap
    of wood they could find.

    Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely
    sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

    "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

    "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

    The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy."


    Women's Humor
    My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you
    happy tonight."
    He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the
    doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
    _____________________
    A couple is lying in bed.
    The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world"
    The woman says, "I'll miss you."
    _____________________It's just too hot to wear
    clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you
    think the neighbours would think if I
    mowed the lawn like this?"
    "Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.
    _____________________
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
    _____________________
    He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to
    you really badly.
    She said - Well, you succeeded.
    _____________________
    He said - Two inches more and I would be a king
    She said - Two inches less, and you'd be a queen
    _____________________
    On wall in ladies room "My husband follows me everywhere..."
    Written just below it "I do not"
    ____________________
    He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the
    sofa and fart.
    _____________________
    He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
    She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat bastard.

    Food For Thought
    ---------------------
    "This political correctness stuff is getting
    ridiculous. Today I overheard a little boy say
    he was going to go play a game of Cattle
    Management Specialists and Native Americans."
     
  2. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2000
    Posts:
    6,026
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    <font color=blue><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr>

    "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy."

    <hr></blockquote>

    Hahahahahahahaha ! I loved it !
     
  3. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2000
    Posts:
    11,117
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    .
    </font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />
    He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
    She said - That's a good idea...you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the
    sofa and fart.

    [/ QUOTE ] /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif LOL!
     
  4. riz

    riz 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2000
    Posts:
    6,026
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    <font color="blue">Aw geez ! Don't tell my wife that one ! </font color>
     

Share This Page