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getting married

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by fourwheelerjeff, Apr 25, 2004.

  1. fourwheelerjeff

    fourwheelerjeff 1/2 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    well, after 10 years of being single looks like i am getting married, the scary part is we have only been dating 5 weeks and have set a date for september 18th; as many of you know, i have 2 girls that are 11 and 13. they love my girlfriend to death and she loves them, we are both 39 and she has been single for 5 years, was married for over 20 years (got married at 14); the funny thing is when i was here i used to go to her work just to see her and talk to her but never got the nerve to ask her out as i figured she would say no, but she and her friends have told me she was crazy about me the first time we met, then i transferred away for 2 years and then came back and our girls turned out to be best friends and we met again and have been inseperable ever since, we talk about everything even stuff i have never been able to talk about to either of my wives (my third, her second marriage)

    she doesn't really understand the 4x4 thing but is anxious to start going wheeling and camping this summer and is ready to go buy me a new tow rig /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    so i guess i am wondering if anyone else on here felt this way and got married soon after dating /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif
     
  2. dyeager535

    dyeager535 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    Don't have a *whole* lot of experience in this department, but I say living together is probably a worthwhile, almost necessary, step before any marriage.

    I know some will disagree, and thats fine, but with divorce rates being at almost 50% anymore, I think it's a good idea to see if two people can actually co-habit. Even your best friend can move in and sooner or later they would get on your nerves...just have to make sure you can work through those situations with your soon-to-be wife when/if they happen.

    Big difference between living with someone and having them go to their own place every night.
     
  3. fourwheelerjeff

    fourwheelerjeff 1/2 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    actually we are already mostly living together, i still have my house, but they sold it before i could buy (just renting) gotta be out by the first, so when i started looking for another place, she said "why don't you move in with me and save your rent and utilities and we pay off some bills" btw, she owns her house, and is taking her car back (lease) and is just using mine and i am driving one of my other rides, we are going to pay everything off starting with the highest interest rate and work our way down the list

    but even her mom said we should live together first to make sure; and i will admit, it is pretty nice having hot meals and clean clothes and clean house without me having to do all of it /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  4. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    Hell, that's nothing. My best friend met a chick online a few months ago and now she's moving down here(she lives in NC) and they're getting hitched! He already put the damn ring on layaway!

    But from my experience, a person needs to be in at least one or two long/serious relationships(read: close to marriage) before actually tying the knot. I think that way you know what your about and what you want in life. But there's an exception to every rule since I see people who met when they were 15 and have been together for 50+ years. Although I suspect many people will not that successful.
     
  5. jac6695

    jac6695 1/2 ton status

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    Thats not the friend is it? You know, the one you told me about a few weeks ago?
     
  6. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    I'm afraid so! /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
     
  7. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    Congrats man! Sounds like you have found that special lady /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif /forums/images/graemlins/woot.gif

    You mentioned the 2 of the most important things already.
    #1 You can and do talk to her about everything.
    #2 The kids are diggin on the situation /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif

    As long as you two can talk and work together, your marriage will be solid. Take the good with the bad, and if you are one of the lucky people that sees 99% good and only a little bad then I say dive in full on and don't look back! Full throttle all the way baby!!/forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif
     
  8. kennyw

    kennyw N9PHW Premium Member

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    Actually the divorce rate for couples that live together first is higher than for those that dont...

    But sounds like your with the right lady Jeff /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  9. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    What's the divorce rate for people who don't live together first? /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif
     
  10. kennyw

    kennyw N9PHW Premium Member

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    [ QUOTE ]
    What's the divorce rate for people who don't live together first? /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I dont remember off the top of my head but I'm sure Dr. Laura could help you /forums/images/graemlins/wink.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif
     
  11. ramjet gmc

    ramjet gmc CK5 Staff Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    cool /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  12. bigyellowjimmy

    bigyellowjimmy 1/2 ton status

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    CONGRATULATIONS! Very glad to hear the kids love her. Remember, feeling crazy about each other is no reason to get married, write each other a note explaining why you love each other, read these when things get tough. It helps /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  13. dyeager535

    dyeager535 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Re: how soon is too soon (marriage)

    About 40-60% apparently.

    For those that co-habit FIRST, divorce rate is 50% higher than the general non co-habiting population divorce rate.

    The research I saw also says that stupid people are more likely to co-habit, but if you are intelligent, work and co-habit before marriage, your odds are just as good as those that don't co-habit before.

    So basically, stupid people co-habit more than smart people, and there are a LOT of stupid people out there. /forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif


    I think it's all a crock. If it takes a piece of paper to keep a couple together, then the relationship is worthless in the first place. not saying marriage is dumb, but if you can't co-habit, why is being married any different?
     
  14. K5Jimmy

    K5Jimmy 1/2 ton status

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    Great News....

    I was single 22 yrs.....Dated a LOT of women....I met my soulmate a little over 3 yrs ago, and married after a year of dating....

    Marsha is the best Person I have ever met, and I can't imagine my life without her.....she makes me a better person...

    I hope you have found such a person....

    I've met you a couple times, and have always admired the job you have done raising your girls.... it's just not something that comes up in casual conversation....I wish you the best....
     
  15. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    Marriage sucks................ /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    If ya want some POS K5's to attend, let me know /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  16. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    Congrats !!! /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif I did it (got married) last Saturday!! /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif
     
  17. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Make sure you have manspace to hide in when they all get on the same cycle... /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  18. fourwheelerjeff

    fourwheelerjeff 1/2 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Marriage sucks................ /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    If ya want some POS K5's to attend, let me know /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    that would be great, let me know where to send the invitations /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  19. ZZ4x4

    ZZ4x4 1/2 ton status

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    Congrats Jeff! I'm glad you met someone. Couldn't happen to a more deserving person. Your girls are great, and it sounds like they'll not only be happy with the arrangement, but get that "Mom" input on things now.

    I think I'm available in Sept to attend /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/whistling.gif /forums/images/graemlins/woot.gif

    See ya,
    Jeff
     
  20. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    Congrats man!

    I've been married for 5 years, we dated (and lived together) 5 years before that. If you find the right person, it's the greatest thing that can happen (next to a kid with that person). I did cheat a little; I've known my wife for 25 years, we just never dated 'til our mid twenties, so we both got to "play the field".
     

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