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Ghay self examination quiz

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by wasted wages, Feb 24, 2006.

  1. wasted wages

    wasted wages 3/4 ton status

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    1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
    It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent
    the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah
    diet.



    2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but
    gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
    touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think
    about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over
    here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,
    snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.



    3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
    nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
    bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet,
    or tits. Anything else and you are in training to suck El Dicko and
    undeniably a fag.



    4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking
    lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his
    bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.



    5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in
    the poop chute. Coffee is to be ha r d strong, black, and full aroma. A
    straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte with Skim "and
    he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If you've
    had NutraSweet in your mouth, you've had a man there, too.



    6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of
    dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your ass. A real
    man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap as
    well as all the names of all the players in the Major league, NFL, NHL,
    college ball, PGA and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know
    what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile
    other than denim, you are faggadocious.


    7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
    tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a
    slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs that
    hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or play
    with his honey in the passenger seat.


    8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le Gay,
    oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a woman
    who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by yourself
    or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual
    combustion), which is what happens to fags when they Flame out too!
     
  2. NEK5

    NEK5 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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  3. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    :rolleyes:
     
  4. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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  5. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but
    gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate
    touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think
    about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over
    here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy,
    snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

    And thus the Homoghay Rock Crawlers were created.
     
  6. wasted wages

    wasted wages 3/4 ton status

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    If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
    nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord.:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:
     
  7. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    There I fixed it for me...:doah:
     
  8. afroman006

    afroman006 1/2 ton status

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    Nice, I particulary liked #6, as I dont know what any of the crap in it means, which is reassuring.

    In all fairness, #8 should have some exceptions. When I flew to South Africa last summer I was on a plane for about 30 hours total each way and I can not sleep on planes at all aparently. I watched every single movie they offered, until I was left with one. I dont remember the name of it but it was the one with that hot ass redhead from Will & Grace where she hired a gigalo to go to her sisters wedding with her. *squeezes cheeks together*** It was a decent movie, not too heavy (like the Notebook :yikes: ) and the hotass women made it tolerable.
     

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