Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Grandma on the stand

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Sep 4, 2006.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    19,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Everywhere
    Southern Grandma ~


    Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they
    aren't prepared for the answer.

    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his
    first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.

    He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

    She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known
    you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
    disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you
    manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
    think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will a mount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

    The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed
    across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

    She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since
    he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking
    problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
    law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to
    mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

    The defense attorney almost died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a
    very quiet voice, said, ................................................................ "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2006
  2. Storm Trooper

    Storm Trooper 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2000
    Posts:
    4,640
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Dillon Colorado, Hang'in in the mountains. Renting
    :haha: :haha: :haha: good one!
     
  3. kyser_soze

    kyser_soze 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2004
    Posts:
    3,180
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    KC Missouri
    I like. :D
     
  4. BoondocK5

    BoondocK5 1 ton status Author

    Joined:
    May 13, 2006
    Posts:
    10,035
    Likes Received:
    63
    Location:
    Salt Lake City, Utah
    Nice one!:haha:
     
  5. lamberthkp

    lamberthkp SITFU Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2005
    Posts:
    1,468
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    West TN
  6. 68MUDSTUD

    68MUDSTUD OCD with shiny things

    Joined:
    Sep 30, 2005
    Posts:
    9,448
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    MT
    :bow: kudos my friend... :D
     
  7. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Good one Paul...:haha:
     
  8. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    19,217
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Everywhere
    Well, you know, every once in a great while (About once or twice a year) I'll come accrost a good one and post it.
     

Share This Page