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Gun Show Definitions

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by cbbr, Apr 23, 2006.

  1. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Just in case you were not sure what some of these words really meant:

    Mint - the previous owner thought that Scope mouthwash was the perfect bore cleaner.

    Patina - a red dust-like substance that forms on ferrous metals in the presence of oxygen.

    NIB - ( New In Box ) translation: “this weapon was the ‘hangar queen’ of the gun shop, thank God we kept the box”. The only one who might want this one is a hitman because it sure has thousands of fingerprints on it.

    Stock has the usual dings - yeah, and face of the moon has the usual dings too.

    Low serial number - if you advertised a car with this as the mileage and referred to it as “low” the authorities would be after you.

    85% bluing remains - translation: “Only 15% of this rifle is not covered with wood so what I can’t see I figure is okay”.

    Rifling is pronounced - pronounced DOA.
    Some pitting - Chubby boy Michael Moore’s face has less pitting after a 40 year diet of pizza and Ho-ho’s

    All matching - translation: “I’ve been up nights with the electro-pencil”

    Not import marked - Support firearms smuggling.

    Should clean up fine - translation: “I have no idea what’s under all this crud. I could be selling you a gun-shaped lump of dirt for all I know.”

    All original - original if the Japanese during WWII mounted Weaver scopes and left the mounting holes, that is.

    Bore shows some frosting - Betty Crocker doesn’t have this much frosting.

    All correct - yup, it’s got a trigger and a stock and a barrel and sights, yeah, it’s all there.

    NRA Good - Handgun Control Inc. bad.

    Rare - nobody wanted these when they were first offered as surplus either so most of them are now Miatas.

    Unusual - this firearm euphemism is the equivalent of a girl saying her girlfriend, who she wants you to date, has “a good personality”.

    The wood has a warm hue - because it was in a fire.

    Custom - translation: “I took a perfectly good rifle that a collector would give his left cajone for, threw away the stock with the great cartouches on it, tore off the sights with vice grips, replaced them with a scope I got at Kmart, sanded off bluing that had lasted twice as long as I will and slapped on some cold blue that looks like toilet bowl water. All this cost me three times what a comparable new rifle would but I’ve got the satisfaction of knowing that I ‘made something’”.

    Very clean - translation: “not a speck of oil has touched this gun since I’ve owned it”.

    Re-arsenaled - if this was a car, the word would be “recalled”.

    Supplies of these are getting low - translation: “We are buried in these pigs. If I don’t get rid of them the boss is going to fire me for buying them in the first place. Never negotiate a deal in
    Eastern Europe when they are supplying the vodka”.

    Ammunition for these is plentiful and cheap - not to mention old and corrosive and dangerous.
    Great for plinking - these things couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn from the inside. Why do you think they lost the war?

    Locks up solid - this gun is rusted shut.

    War Trophy - translation: “My grandfather spent the entire war guarding a pier in the U.S. and confiscated this off a returning soldier who was actually in combat”.

    Still in cosmoline - translation: “Cosmoline hides a plethora of things that I’d rather not tell you about”.

    One of a kind - translation: “I bubba’d this”.

    European craftsmanship - built just like a Yugo.

    Original markings - someone carved their initials in the stock.

    Bore is shiny - none of that nasty rifling remains to spoil the smoothness of this bore.

    Stock has been lightly sanded - apparently “lightly” is redundant when used with “sanded” in the
    world of firearms auctions. You never see the term “sanded” without “lightly” preceding it. You’d never guess that anybody involved in firearms simply “sanded” or, God forbid, “sanded well”.
    I’m not an expert on these - translation: “Now that I’ve made this disclaimer, I’m free to tell you whatever wild baloney I think will get you to buy this. If you find out it’s not true well hey, I told you I was no expert”.

    Hairline crack, might be repairable - by this description it has a equal chance of not being repairable.

    I don’t have any pictures - translation: “If you are stupid enough to buy a firearm without even seeing pictures of it, check out my auction of magic beans”.

    Arsenal Wrapped - If you are the kind of person who buys cans in the supermarket without labels on them, this baby’s for you!

    Sporter - translation: “I REALLY bubba’d this one”.

    Arsenal New - the arsenal where these were made closed 99 years ago. This must be some kind of Bill Clintonesque definition of “new”.

    Unissued - even the soldiers of the third-world country they came from refused to carry them.

    Laminated stock - the ex-Eastern bloc factory that was making these burnt all the real stocks to keep from freezing so these were made out of pressed floor sweepings and rat droppings. Don’t fire this one if the stock’s ever gotten wet.

    A good shooter - these come personally recommended by BOTH Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder for their accuracy.

    Vintage - so much rust that the date is obscured.

    With accessories - translation: “The exporter told us if we wanted the deal on the rifles we had to take all this other crap off his hands”.

    Collectable - what’s being offered has the same intrinsic value as Elvis memorabilia from the Franklin Mint.

    Ammunition will soon be available - buy this if you want a wall hanger.

    Don’t let this one get away! - translation: “Please, please buy this, they’re gonna break my thumbs”.

    An early example - it took them a while to get this model right. This one was made before that.

    I’ve never seen another one like this - translation: “Someone bubba’d it before I got it”.

    California Legal - this is not a weapon. It has been rendered so it doesn’t even look threatening. It is no more lethal than Michael Moore’s underwear. Okay, so his underwear is lethal. Alright, it’s a WMD.

    Pride of the French Officers Corps - this is why people with no historical background should not be in the milsurp business.

    Tanker model - this rifle was bubba’d by someone cutting several inches off the front of it.

    Rare wire wrapped version - the stock is being held together by wire.

    NAZI markings intact - the previous owner of this weapon was a skinhead living in a trailer in Idaho who carved sayings peculiar to his philosophy in the stock.

    Russian Mummy Wrap - last time I checked, Russia didn’t have any pyramids. This seller is obviously trying to say that the weapon is held together by Soviet-era duct tape.

    Minor scratches - translation: “Zeigfried’s partner Roy has less scratches on him”.

    Has a strong action - translation: “You’ll need a couple of friends to get the bolt on this rust bucket open”.

    Ones in this condition are hard to find - yeah, most of them in this condition went to the scrap heap.

    Standard three day inspection period - translation: “We ship only on Fridays at the close of business before the start of three day weekends. Our couriers have special instructions to hide your purchase in your FFL’s bushes when they deliver”.

    Double heat treated - this was also in a fire.

    Nicely refinished - the previous owner slapped on whatever left over wood finishes he had lying around. The gloss on this stock would do a bowling alley proud.

    A nice example - this looks like what people mean when they say “We’re gonna make an example out of him”. - or what people mean at a funeral when they say “Doesn’t he look good”.

    Difficult to find - we used this one to prop open a window at the shop and forgot about it.

    Free floating barrel - the screws that hold the barrel in are missing.
     
  2. roadnotca

    roadnotca 3/4 ton status

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    You are obviously very familiar with C&R:haha:
     

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