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Hangover ratings

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by TSGB, Oct 9, 2006.

  1. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    One Star Hangover (*)

    No pain. No real feeling of illness. You're able to function
    relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5
    cokes and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a
    steak & fries.


    Two Star Hangover (**)

    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but
    you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are
    chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still
    tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House
    excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your
    bowels.


    Three Star Hangover (***)

    Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not
    productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume
    reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends
    dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a
    gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet Coke--yet you haven't peed
    once.


    Four Star Hangover (****)

    Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or
    else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being
    late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice
    clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you only shaved one side
    of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on
    while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like one big red vein,
    and even your hair hurts. Your ass is in perpetual spasm, and
    the first of about five ****s you take during the day brings water
    to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

    Five Star Hangover (*****)

    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate spit so your tongue is suffocating you. You don't have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to take a dump results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare 'Floater' thrown in. The sole purpose of this 'Floater' seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now...
     
  2. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    You'll have a 6 star when I'm done with you.
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Whats a hangover???
     
  4. GotLabs

    GotLabs 1/2 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    x2:D , conditioning, its all about conditioning.
     
  5. smalltruckbigcid

    smalltruckbigcid 1/2 ton status

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    I woke up in Denver once with a 5 star...told the cops I walked past leaving the club that I wasn't driving. Damm good thing that was true:haha:
    George
     
  6. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Well, at least I don't have to worry about you shooting me, what with being Air Farce and all...
     
  7. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    You want a bomb through your window or somethin?

    Nah, I like being a little personal.
     
  8. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    I like being personal too... :D
     
  9. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    Touche.

    You better get used to that image in my avatar. You'll be seeing it in a much closer perspective soon enough.
     
  10. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    You can't even make up your mind on how you're going to try to kill me!
     
  11. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    I'll kill you multiple times.
     
  12. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Can you explain the math on that one?
     
  13. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    Yes.

    I shoot you in the armpit with a 30-30 to prevent you from using fifi. You'll slowly bleed to death (kill no. 1).

    Then as I get closer, I'll shoot your thigh with a 12 gauge slug. You'll bleed to death faster (kill no. 2)

    Then, even closer, I'll give you a good gut shot with some 00. You'll get poisoned to death (kill no. 3).

    Then I'll walk up and blow your brains out with a .357. Kill no. 4

    4 deaths, I win.
     
  14. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    You can't even add. Throw on another 8-14 (depending on what buckshot you use), and you'll be closer.


    Go lay down before your brain overheats.
     
  15. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    I've got an external cooler for my brain thankyouverymuch
     
  16. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    That big pink "I love Heather" is killing me........:D You been hanging around Homeslice? :eek1: Oh, and if you must have that giant banner, you have to post pics........
     
  17. Jagged

    Jagged 1 ton status

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    If he posts pics..... ;)
     
  18. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Check the Pig Pen.
     
  19. gofergurl

    gofergurl 1/2 ton status

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    x2. That thing is going to drive me even more insane. :doah:

    I don't think he could get pics. He isn't clever enough!!! :haha::haha:
     
  20. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    That is the test of true love. If you sitting on the growler with a copy of Four Wheeler doesn't make it into the Pig Pen, then he may be a keeper.....
     

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