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Headlines from the year 2029

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jan 3, 2005.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    * Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions.

    * Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops
    and livestock.

    * Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.

    * Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more
    years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

    * France pleads for global help after being invaded by Jamaica.

    * Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be
    imported legally.

    * George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

    * Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and
    reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

    * 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise the key to weight
    loss. Average weight of Americans using both drops to 250 lbs.

    * Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast
    shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her
    mouth shut.

    * United States executes last remaining Liberal.

    * Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their
    civil rights.

    * Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

    * New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,
    fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by
    January 2036.

    * Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political
    contributions to campaign accounts.

    * Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with
    congressman.

    * IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

    * Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.
     
  2. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    What , no "Cubs win World Series" :D
     
  3. semper-k-five

    semper-k-five 1/2 ton status

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    those were pretty good!!!!!!!!!!
     
  4. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    I can easily see this being true by then...

    The rest were funny too!
     

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