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Hell Explained By Chemistry Student

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Sep 29, 2006.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    The following is an actual question given on a Texas A&M chemistry mid-term.

    The answer by one student was so "profound" that The professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure often enjoying it as well:

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many Souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the Rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, and then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the Fact that I slept with her last night, and then number two must be true, and thus I’m sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this Theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting Any more souls and is, therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving

    The existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa Kept shouting "Oh, my God."

    THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"
     
  2. BoondocK5

    BoondocK5 1 ton status Author

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    I'm guessing here, but, both the "student" and His lover "Teresa"
    got to see each others "O" faces?:rolleyes: :haha: :haha:
     
  3. NEK5

    NEK5 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    Well, thats just a terrific piece now isn`t it....:D
     
  4. tiger9297

    tiger9297 1/2 ton status

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    I'd give him an A+ for making all that BS sound so good. :D
     
  5. big dan

    big dan 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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    wow. thats hilarious:haha:
     
  6. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Gloriously divine.
     
  7. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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  8. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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  9. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Fetch the comfy chair

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    Yes it was funny, but, which of your statements is true? :D
     
  10. 79k20350

    79k20350 3/4 ton status

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    sometimes i hate snoopes... id rather believe it:rolleyes::p:
     
  11. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Just copied and pasted from some site I was at earlier. Don't care if it's accurate or not, I thought it was funny.
     

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