# Hell Explained By Chemistry Student

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Sep 29, 2006.

1. ### Z3PRBanned

Joined:
Mar 30, 2002
Posts:
19,217
Likes Received:
0
Location:
Everywhere
The following is an actual question given on a Texas A&M chemistry mid-term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that The professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure often enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many Souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the Rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, and then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the Fact that I slept with her last night, and then number two must be true, and thus I’m sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this Theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting Any more souls and is, therefore, extinct ... leaving only Heaven, thereby proving

The existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa Kept shouting "Oh, my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

2. ### BoondocK51 ton statusAuthor

Joined:
May 13, 2006
Posts:
10,035
Likes Received:
63
Location:
Salt Lake City, Utah
I'm guessing here, but, both the "student" and His lover "Teresa"
got to see each others "O" faces?

3. ### NEK53/4 ton statusPremium Member

Joined:
Oct 25, 2005
Posts:
9,843
Likes Received:
37
Location:
Ipswich MA
Well, thats just a terrific piece now isn`t it....

4. ### tiger92971/2 ton status

Joined:
Jul 23, 2004
Posts:
1,205
Likes Received:
0
Location:
Tupelo, Mississippi
I'd give him an A+ for making all that BS sound so good.

5. ### big dan1/2 ton statusPremium Member

Joined:
Aug 1, 2005
Posts:
2,656
Likes Received:
29
Location:
Arkansas
wow. thats hilarious

6. ### TSGB1 ton status

Joined:
Apr 22, 2002
Posts:
12,527
Likes Received:
0
Location:
Centralia, Washington
Gloriously divine.

7. ### tRustyK5Big meanieStaff MemberSuper ModeratorGMOTM WinnerAuthor

Joined:
Jul 23, 2000
Posts:
36,170
Likes Received:
1,379
Location:
E-town baby!
8. ### Z3PRBanned

Joined:
Mar 30, 2002
Posts:
19,217
Likes Received:
0
Location:
Everywhere
Doesn't matter if true or not, it was funny. Posted just for a laugh.

9. ### Desert RatFetch the comfy chair

Joined:
Oct 19, 2002
Posts:
16,250
Likes Received:
3
Location:
Tri-Valley, NorCal
Yes it was funny, but, which of your statements is true?

10. ### 79k203503/4 ton status

Joined:
Nov 22, 2004
Posts:
7,757
Likes Received:
1
Location:
Ct
sometimes i hate snoopes... id rather believe it

11. ### Z3PRBanned

Joined:
Mar 30, 2002
Posts:
19,217
Likes Received:
0
Location:
Everywhere
Just copied and pasted from some site I was at earlier. Don't care if it's accurate or not, I thought it was funny.