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Hello, and welcome to ......

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Sep 29, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2002
    Posts:
    19,217
    Likes Received:
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    Location:
    Everywhere
    >"Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline......"
    >
    >If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
    >
    >If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
    >
    >If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
    >
    >If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
    >line so we can trace your call.
    >
    >If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the
    >mother ship.
    >
    >If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
    >you which number to press.
    >
    >If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you
    >press, no one will answer.
    >
    >If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
    >
    >If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until
    >a representative comes on the line.
    >
    >If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone
    >number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden
    >name.
    >
    >If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and
    >c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.
    >
    >If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
    >before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
    >
    >If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term
    >memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If
    >you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
    >
    >If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too
    >busy to talk to you.
    >
    >If you are menopausal, hang up, turn on the fan, lay down and cry. You
    >won't be crazy forever.
    >
    >If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
     
  2. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2000
    Posts:
    11,117
    Likes Received:
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    Location:
    .
    Been posted before..

    *Press 4,5,& 6*
     

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