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Help the less fortunate...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Djroffroad, Aug 29, 2002.

  1. Djroffroad

    Djroffroad 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Portland, Oregon
    Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of their life-giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help!

    For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution by no means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help! Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball player it could mean the difference between spending the strike golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k), real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home. Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your name,he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special operator in case
    additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    YES, I WANT TO HELP!

    I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is checked below:

    [ ] Infielder


    [ ] Outfielder


    [ ] Starting Pitcher


    [ ] Ace Pitcher


    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost of a specific team - $10 per minute)


    [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)


    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat (include $80 for hat).


    Your Name: _______________________


    Telephone Number: ____________________


    Account Number: _____________________


    Exp.Date:_______


    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express
    [ ] Discover


    Signature: _______________________


    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):


    Account Number: _____________________Exp.Date:_______


    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express
    [ ] Discover


    Signature: _______________________


    Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call 1-900-****-THE-FANS now to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).


    Disclaimer: Sponsors are not permitted to contact the player they have sponsored, either in person or by other means including, but not limited to,
    telephone calls, letters, e-mail, or third parties. Contributions are not tax-deductible.
     
  2. jimmyjack

    jimmyjack 1/2 ton status

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    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHARHARHARHARHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHOHOHOHEEHEEEHHEEHHHEEEHEHEEHAHAHAHA.........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHACKHACKHACKCOUGHCOUGHCOUGH...........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHOHOHOLYSHITHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Now that's a kick in the ass isn't it? Let them walk! SEE YA! It's football season anyway! /forums/images/icons/grin.gif STRIKE 3 YEROUT! 1st and 10!
     
  3. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    If you really want to help the less fortunate, I am accepting donations. I promiss to post pics of how your donations build my Blazer up. Send PM for address. LOL /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif /forums/images/icons/grin.gif
     
  4. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    I'm a hardcore fan,but this is just some bullshit! If the strike goes down. I'm gonna go KrAzY! /forums/images/icons/mad.gif /forums/images/icons/crazy.gif

    It's a big F-U to the fans.. /forums/images/icons/frown.gif
     

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