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Helpful hints from Micheal Stewart

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Dec 10, 2002.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
    portland oregon
    (Martha's little brother )


    Helpful Hint #1
    If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down it's throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

    Helpful Hint #2
    Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
    someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    Helpful Hint #3
    Don't buy expensive 'ribbed' condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you put it on.

    Helpful Hint #4
    Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.

    Helpful Hint #5
    An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes a wonderful inexpensive vibrator.

    Helpful Hint #6
    Avoid arguments with the little woman about lifting the toilet seat by simply peeing in the sink.

    Helpful Hint #7
    High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

    Helpful Hint #8
    A mouse trap, placed on top on of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
     
  2. BigBluOx

    BigBluOx 1/2 ton status

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    Jon /forums/images/graemlins/burb.gif
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
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  4. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    Frozen peas .......brrrrrrrrrrrr ... sounds a llittle chilly.
     

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