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Helth coverage

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by GORRILLA, Jul 25, 2003.

  1. GORRILLA

    GORRILLA 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    TX panhandle, out at the river.
    INFORMATION YOU MAY NEED TO HELP YOU CHOOSE YOUR NEXT HEALTH PLAN

    Q. What does HMO stand for?

    A. This is actually a variation of the phrase, "HEY MOE." Its roots go back to a concept pioneered by Moe of the Three Stooges, who discovered that a patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was poked hard enough in the eyes.

    Q. I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I want?

    A. Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer will provide you with a book listing all the doctors in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two categories-those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those who will see you but are no longer participating in the plan. But don't worry; the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients has an office just a half-day's drive away and has a diploma from a Third World Country.

    Q. Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

    A. No. Only those you need.

    Q. Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

    A. Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

    Q. What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

    A. You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

    Q. My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name brand.

    I tried the Generic Medication, but it gave me a stomachache. What should I do?

    A. Poke yourself in the eye.

    Q. What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

    A. You really shouldn't do that.

    Q. I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart transplant right in his office?

    A. Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $15 co-payment, there's no harm in giving him a shot at it.
     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Location:
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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Quartz Hill, So. Cal
    How true... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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