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Hey Stickseler, here it is, Chaos in the Kahukus

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Bubba Ray Boudreaux, Nov 10, 2002.

  1. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    And you know it, SO THERE I WAS..........., same unit, early 1993. We were up in the Kahukus on the North Shore going through platoon ARTEP (some eval thingy the Army has) and during the first two days, my platoon went through the ARTEP and we had some grunts OPFORing for us, but since they had to go back to post so they could come back out to the field, 1st(my home) and 2nd Platoons were tasked to OPFOR against the other two platoons during their ARTEPs. We were really looking forward to this and now I must digress to set the plate.

    A few weeks earlier, we had done some quick one night train-ups for the ARTEPs and one night, we OPFORed against the 3rd Platoon.

    As for our relationship between platoons, it was great. The problem lied within the PL for 3rd PLT, who I will refer to hereon out as LT. WannabeRanger.

    Now during their one night train-up, my platoon would break up into teams and walkabout the jungle (Puu Kapu) until we found them. My team consisted of myself, my roommate and the Plt. Sergeant and his dog.

    Now wait a minute, you ask, the Plt. Sgt's dog? Yep. The Plt. Sgt. lived in housing not too far away and he felt his dog (Lab if I remember right) needed some exercise.

    So we waited until the sun went down and we began the walk of death. We humped about 12 klicks and we were wore out and of course, that meant we were seeing everything from elves to Elvis in the cane fields.

    Lucky for us, the dog had joined us cause he found the first truck, Lt. WannabeRanger's truck. Unfortunately, he was not there, but we woke his driver after the dog attacked the T-Rat pound cake on the hood. And of course, since the driver was a highly intelligent person, he gave my PSG the location of the rest of the trucks while my roommate and myself practiced our graffiti skills on the HMMWV with chalk. The CO wouldn't let us use orange paint.

    Fast forward to the next morning. We were outside Troop HQ cleaning up and Lt. WannabeRanger was mooping and stomping around, pissed that his drivers were down at the motorpool washing our chalk marks off. Well, he ran into my PSG., who told him in the most diplomatic manner that his driver was a ****-up who left the food out for the dog to find. Of course, there's only so many ways for a NCO to tell an officer to get bent without causing trouble for himself.

    Then a few minutes later, with Lt. WannabeRanger behind me still whining, here came my PL and Lt. WannabeRanger having the common sense of a rock was talking crap about my PL when he walked up. /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif Nope, blows were not thrown, of course we knew who the smart money was gonna be on and it wasn't WannabeRanger by a long shot.

    So now here we were at the ARTEP. It was time to rain chaos and mayhem amongst the aura of WannabeRanger with so much ferocity that he would run out of diapers before the sun went down on Day 1.

    That morning, we broke up into teams, with me joining my PL and one of our privates. We drove up the mountain and since it was a route recon that was getting evaled, we picked a spot up the route to setup. Since I was experienced, the PL let me set off on my own. I picked a spot to snipe from and hung out.

    What I had done was to pick a tree off the side of the road and found a limb that was big enough to hold me, setting me up about 10 feet above the road and just off of it with a clear field of vision. The only camo I had going was a camo net repair piece on my boonie hat to cover my face, other than that, I was in the open. The PL set up down the road from me, while my PSG. was setup about a klick before me, with his brew of concertina and chemical warning signs./forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    After about an hour had passed, I heard the revving of 6.2L diesels and knew that real soon, I could unleash my fury upon Lt. WannabeRanger.

    To set the picture for y'all, the limb I was sitting on was facing down the road, I was sitting astradled, gave me great position, but if I started taking fire, my sh*t was weak, but OPFOR lives forever, right?

    To assist my chaos, one of the former PLs was an OC and he had stopped where I was setup at and we talked for a few, so he hung out to see what would come of my plan.

    He wasn't disappointed. To Lt. WannabeRanger's credit, he had a scout on foot ahead of the platoon and here he came towards me.

    Now one of the great fallocies of patrolling is the trend to look straight ahead or eye level, but not up. The scout stopped about 50 meters away from me, scanning around looking. Of course I was up above him and after a few seconds, including a few glances right at me, I couldn't take the pressure anymore and let loose with a 3 round burst. It took the scout a couple of seconds, but he finally located me; but the OC took him out of play.

    Then here came the trucks. The first one had my other roommate in the turret and he was a squared-away troop. He knew right where I was, gave off a few M-60 rounds and they were off.

    The next truck contained WannabeRanger and the joy I had when I saw the yellow smoke residue on the left side front tire could hardly be contained. I knew that my PSG. had treated him right.

    Well, the truck came to a stop and Lt. was scanning off the left side looking, while his wounded scout on the ground was yelling at him to leave. Well of course, I couldn't let a good deed go undone and unleashed a good burst upon WannabeRanger and off down the road they went.

    After a few minutes, I went back to our truck and hooked up with my PL and we started to take off to regroup. Well, as we were driving off, I was riding in the back seat and I look out the window and here comes WannabeRanger out of the bush firing away with this look in his eyes......well, y'all know that look.

    We got down the hill and regrouped with the rest of the platoon and that's when we heard the PSG's story. WannabeRanger's truck was the first to see his "trap," and for everyone that remembers, the first thing a soldier does when they see signs of NBC, they mask up. Well, WannabeRanger stopped his truck at the sign, then my guys hit them with smoke (remember the yellow residue?) and gunfire and WannabeRanger choked big time. They u-turned and got the hell out of Dodge.

    After an afternoon of rest and whale watching, we began planning the evening's shindig. I talked my PL into humping up the hill and just walking around til we found something to do./forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    Now like any great cavalrymen, if you ain't cheatin, you ain't tryin. A couple of OCs had been talking to us and they hopped into their truck to go back up the hill. Well of course, even though I didn't mind the walk, the first 5 klicks would've been uphill and by the time we found something to do, we'd been beat; so I snagged a ride from the OCs and up the hill we went.

    The platoon was getting evaled on doing a screenline and it was our job to get through. Well, when we got dropped off, we were behind them. Darn, I hate when that happened./forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif

    I was armed with my trusty M-16 and 203 while my PL had a MILES guide gun. Who says you don't need a silenced weapon? /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    After walking down the road for about 30 minutes, we began hearing voices, so I went off into the bush on one side and my PL went off on the other. We stuck up just a few meters and saw WannabeRanger's truck. Oh how the world turns /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif. Then to my great dismay, here came an OC and he stopped right at WannabeRanger's truck and they began shooting the sh*t.

    Now here's the picture that I'm sitting in. I'm on the other side of the road, can't see my PL. I'm about twenty meters away from WannabeRanger's truck, the OC's truck is closer, so I'm about 15 meters from the three of them, with WannabeRanger and his driver facing my direction. I'm not moving. I had just enough bush in front of me that even though they looked straight at me a couple of times, they never saw me.

    After what seemed like an eternity, I hear WannabeRanger tell the OC that they need to get going so they can get setup for the evening. I knew that if we were going to add to WannabeRanger's ragin heartache he was having, the time to move was now. The OC drove off and WannabeRanger and his driver moved off to their truck. I glanced across the road and still couldn't see my PL, so it was time to come up with something crazy.

    WannabeRanger was in the turret and his driver hadn't jumped in yet, so I made my move. I jump out of the bush, running right at them firing while screaming like a wild Indian. Ah yes, another classic look from WannabeRanger. I ran off into the bush and hooked up with my PL.

    Well, the rest of the night got wilder after that; with me setting off a trip flare in my face while trying to disarm it and my PSG getting an artillery simulator dropped in his lapped. Needless to say, threats of a**kickings and knifings(my PSG was Puerto Rican) were made, but we made it out of the Kahukus the next day with one injury. One of the E-5's burnt his hand trying to una** a smoke grenade from the inside of his truck.
     
  2. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Thats a great one...I started reading this at work the day after you posted it...I almost got busted by my boss...maybe we shoud go union and get internet in our contract /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif.. anyhow I forgot about it and I was just looking for somthing and stumbled accross it...I'll shut up now since i'm just babbeling...I mean I not really babbleing since I'm typing but I'm bored...Time for another Corona... /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif
     
  3. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    MMMMMMMMMMM, Corona /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif

    BTW, I was watching that show on Discovery, "Making a Marine" or something or another, and there was this female 1SGT, she was hot. Same with one of the female DIs, though I think she was giving off the vibes that she was into cleaning carpets. What's up with all the hotties in the Corps?
     

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