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Home remedies, duct tape, and WD-40

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mud390, Aug 10, 2004.

  1. mud390

    mud390 1/2 ton status

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    Got this in an email and thought I would share the humor...

    1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
    boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost
    instantly removed.

    2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
    someone else to hold them while you chop away.

    3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
    using the sink.

    4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
    awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

    5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
    rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

    6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will
    be afraid to cough.

    7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will
    forget about the tooth ache..

    AND..... Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really
    are:

    You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
    should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

    Kris
     
  2. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Words to live by.... /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    LOL those are halarious! /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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  5. dremu

    dremu Officious Thread Derailer Premium Member

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    We all know this, but duct tape is like The Force: it has a light side, and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

    (If she can't find you handsome she can at least find you handy!)

    -- A
     
  6. mtn. burb

    mtn. burb 1/2 ton status

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    You gotta love homespun remedies. LOL!

    One of our equipment operators showed me a phone/camera pic of his 3 yr. old boy's head with a big ol' split in it after a hard fall. His wifey was going to take him to the hospital for stiches. Dave insisted super glue would work fine....so that's what he did. Super glue your kids scalp back together?? yup. /forums/images/graemlins/yikes.gif


    BTW/ I got a free computer so I'm using it w/ 56K at work. This 56K stuff is slower than a CalTrans worker picking up trash next to the freeway. /forums/images/graemlins/mad.gif
     
  7. mud390

    mud390 1/2 ton status

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    I sliced my thumb open one time on accident with a razor blade and couldn't get it to stop bleeding no matter what I did. So, I cut off the piece of skin that was still attached and slathered super glue all over the cut. Once it dried it was on there a good 12 hours before reapplication was needed, and the bloodflow stopped. Cuts and open wounds is what super glue was originally designed for, but apparently more people are allergic to it than not. Oh well, worked for me.

    Kris
     

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