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Hope you did not miss out on the hidden beaver post

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Chevit, May 7, 2003.

  1. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    So here it is...
    The Old Man and The Beaver
    A 110-year-old man is having his annual checkup. The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
    "I've never felt better," he replies. I've got an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"
    The doctor thinks for a moment and says, "Let me tell you a story. I know a guy who's an avid hunter. He never misses a season but one day he's in a bit of a hurry and accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun. So, he's walking in the woods near a creek and suddenly spots a beaver in some brush in front of him. He raises his umbrella, points it at the beaver, squeezes the handle, and BAM! the beaver drops dead in front of him."
    That's impossible," said the old man in disbelief, "someone else must have shot that beaver!"
    "Exactly", said the doctor.
     
  2. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    A Worn Out Beaver:

    [​IMG]
     
  3. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [​IMG]
     
  4. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    A little boy was staying at his grandmothers house. In the morning, his grandmother was about to take a shower and the boy asked if he could take a shower with her. She said yes and when they got in the shower, the little boy pointed to his granny's privates and asked her what 'it' was.
    "Oh, that is just my Beaver' she replied back.
    Satisfied with the answer, he just replied, "Oh."
    Later that week, back at his house the little boys mother was about to take a shower. He asked if he could get into the shower with her. His mother said yes and this time he points to his mothers privates and asks, "What is that, mommy?"
    His mother, a little embarrassed replies, "Why that's my Beaver, honey. Why do you ask?"
    "Well.." says the young boy, "Grandma has a Beaver too, but I think it's dead, because it's tongue hangs out."
     
  6. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    Whistling beaver A man is sitting on a train when a stunning lady walks up and takes the seat opposite him. She's wearing a very short skirt and no undies and he can't help but stare at her beaver."Do you know, I can make it wink at you." she says"Really? Go on." he replied and she wiggled slightly and lo and behold it winked!"I can make it blow you a kiss as well""Really? OK then go for it!" he replied, intrigued. Another quick wiggle and a kiss was blown."So, do you want to stick two fingers up it?" she asked."Why, can it fawkin' whistle as well
     
  7. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  8. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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  9. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [ QUOTE ]
    , "Grandma has a Beaver too, but I think it's dead, because it's tongue hangs out."


    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  10. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    how about a S. Dakota Joke...

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTH DAKOTA WHEN...

    During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
    You are related to more than half the town.
    You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
    Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it reaches back to town before you do.
    You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
    Your quarterback is hurt and you're hoping it's the first thing on the 6 o'clock news.
    There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
    The local gas station sells live bait.
    You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
    You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
    You get up at 5:30 a.m. and go down to the coffee shop.
    You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
    When little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
    You go to the river because it's almost like going to the ocean.
    You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
    All your radio preset buttons are country.
    Using the elevator involved a corn truck.
    Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.
    You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
    You are walking knee-deep in snow.
    You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.
    Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
    You talk with a friend about some big event you are going to attend, and by the end of the conversation you've decided you're both too broke to go.
    You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
    Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle and pigs.
    You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
    You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video.
    You want to buy manure.
    You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
    You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
    Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
    You leave your snow tires on year-round.
    You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
    You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
    You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
    You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
    You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
    You don't clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer.
    You wear your irrigation boots to church.
    You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
    It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
    You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.
    The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
    You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart
     
  11. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  12. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [ QUOTE ]
    how about a S. Dakota Joke...

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTH DAKOTA WHEN...


    [/ QUOTE ]
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  13. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [ QUOTE ]
    how about a S. Dakota Joke...

    YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM SOUTH DAKOTA WHEN...

    During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
    You are related to more than half the town.
    You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
    Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it reaches back to town before you do.
    You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
    Your quarterback is hurt and you're hoping it's the first thing on the 6 o'clock news.
    There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
    The local gas station sells live bait.
    You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
    You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
    You get up at 5:30 a.m. and go down to the coffee shop.
    You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.
    When little smokies are something you serve on special occasions.
    You go to the river because it's almost like going to the ocean.
    You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
    All your radio preset buttons are country.
    Using the elevator involved a corn truck.
    Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.
    You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
    You are walking knee-deep in snow.
    You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.
    Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
    You talk with a friend about some big event you are going to attend, and by the end of the conversation you've decided you're both too broke to go.
    You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
    Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle and pigs.
    You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
    You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video.
    You want to buy manure.
    You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
    You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.
    Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
    You leave your snow tires on year-round.
    You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
    You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
    You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
    You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
    You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
    You don't clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer.
    You wear your irrigation boots to church.
    You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
    It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
    You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.
    The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
    You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart



    [/ QUOTE ] The funny part is some of it's true. By the way, I may live in South Dakota, but it's not where I'm from.
     
  14. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  15. Don

    Don 1/2 ton status

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    OMG, what a dandy thread! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  16. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  17. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    Re: Hope you-did not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [ QUOTE ]
    The funny part is some of it's true. By the way, I may live in South Dakota, but it's not where I'm from.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Dude are you insecure or what....You get defensive quite easily /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif You even thought my sig was directed towards you too. But its not its just a general true statement /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  18. Swanson52

    Swanson52 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Hope youdid not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    I have to personally take excetion to some of these:

    [ QUOTE ]
    Your quarterback is hurt and you're hoping it's the first thing on the 6 o'clock news.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    There's no real football in South Dakota. This applies to Nebraska. /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    [ QUOTE ]
    You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I guess I have to ask...is this a bad thing? /forums/images/graemlins/smirk.gif

    Carry on. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  19. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    Beaver Ball/Skunk Cabbage Soup


    1 large skunk cabbage, shredded
    1-2 carrots, shredded
    2 lbs sauerkraut, with liquid
    1 large can tomato juice
    1 can water
    1-2 tsp peppercorns (or to taste)
    1-2 tsp dill weed (or more to taste)
    1 c raisins
    1/4 c brown sugar, packed
    1/4 c lemon juice

    Put skunk cabbage, carrots, sauerkraut, raisins, liquids and spices
    in a large pot.

    Bring it to a boil.

    Add brown sugar and lemon juice. Cook for a while till
    cabbage is soft and flavors are blended. Adjust seasoning
    to taste. (This may involve a lot more sugar and lemon juice,
    till you get it just right!)

    Serve with
    Beaver BALL Meatballs

    1 lb Beaver Balls
    1 onion, minced fine
    1/4 c raw rice
    1 egg
    salt, pepper, dill weed to taste

    Mix all ingredients together. Shape into meatballs.
    Cook in the skunk cabbage soup.


    /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
     
  20. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Re: Hope you-did not miss out on the hidden beaver post

    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    The funny part is some of it's true. By the way, I may live in South Dakota, but it's not where I'm from.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Dude are you insecure or what....You get defensive quite easily /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif You even thought my sig was directed towards you too. But its not its just a general true statement /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif

    [/ QUOTE ] Being I'm the only member from SD, and the target of the Beaver bullshit, what would you think ???
     

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