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How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by BurbLover, Jul 27, 2004.

  1. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

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    How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southerners?

    Answer - Pose the following question:

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.

    What do you do?

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Democrat Answer:

    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Republican Answer:

    BANG!

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    CLICK 'snap/slide/click'....(sounds of reloading).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
     
  2. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    CLICK 'snap/slide/click'....(sounds of reloading).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    What is this, a Hollywood movie? Automatic handguns don't click when they're empty, the slide locks back! /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif /forums/images/graemlins/tongue.gif
     
  3. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    snap= slide locking
    slide=clip sliding out
    click=new clip in or slide forward
     
  4. Shaggy

    Shaggy 3/4 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    snap= slide locking
    slide=clip sliding out
    click=new clip in or slide forward

    [/ QUOTE ]

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    <font color="red">CLICK </font>'snap/slide/click'....(sounds of reloading).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! <font color="red">click</font>.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    Please refer to the color coding. /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  5. pfloydmaster

    pfloydmaster 1/2 ton status

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    Dood I don't care if it click, snap or slide...it's still [darn] funny!!! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Nice!



    BANG BANG!
     
  7. bigcountryk5

    bigcountryk5 1/2 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    Southerner's Answer:

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    CLICK 'snap/slide/click'....(sounds of reloading).
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    yeah then the daughter would look down and say " Nice group Diddy" /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif man i love being a southerner /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif
     
  8. ntsqd

    ntsqd 1/2 ton status

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    Re: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Sout

    Jees, gotta fix it here too. The version I got a long time ago went something like:
    [ QUOTE ]
    lots of banging and clicking

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Daughter: "Daddy, I think he's still moving. Here, try my Airweight
    filled with Glazers."

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

    Son: "Them Glazers never work right. What you need is my .50 AE, here."

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.

    Mom: "Dang-nab it Junior, I've told you to leave that cannon at home.
    You don't need that much firepower fer varmits like this. A good ole
    1911-A1 is all you need."

    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click.
    (Note: Devel Mag)
     
  9. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Re: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Sout

    RJ

    "Hmmmm.... that's a nice knife......"

    *what*

    click BANG BANG

    "AHHHH I MISSED"

    *STAB STAB STAB STAB*

    "OWWWWWWWWWWW [darn] !!!!!"

    *BANG BANG*

    "THERE SUCKER"

    *takes knife"

    "Ooooh Cold Steel"

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    "Owwww........ hammerbite....."
     

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