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How does having anxiety attacks affect you?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Nov 2, 2005.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Teach me about this. My wife claims to have anxiety attacks (or panic, if thats the same thing) and just told me about this after she claims to have had it for the past year.

    She went to the doctor and he put her on Zoloft. What can you tell me about this stuff?

    She's so confused right now that she don't know what she wants out of life. She said the medication won't kick in til about 2 or 3 weeks after she starts it. Its been a week so far now.

    Help! I'm starting to shown signs of stress from her. :(
     
  2. tiger9297

    tiger9297 1/2 ton status

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    All I know is that women are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY more complex than we are, so be very patient and understanding with her. She will be needing calm and stability from you. If you get stressed, and are not there for her, it will be that much more difficult for her to overcome. Wish the best for your wife.
     
  3. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    Anxiety attacks make me reach for the vodka much quicker.





    At least that's what my wife's attacks do to me, never had one myself.
     
  4. afroman006

    afroman006 1/2 ton status

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    Mike Tyson is on Zoloft so he wont kill you.
     
  5. ak bandit

    ak bandit 1/2 ton status

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    My mom started taking Zoloft when her sister died. She would have major anxiety attacks. I have seen the affects of Zoloft first hand, and I can definitely say that it works.
     
  6. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    See if your doctor can recommend a good therapist. Or, if you are a churchgoing family, talk to your pastor.. the point is, rather than just medicate, find out what the cause of the anxiety actually is, and work on fixing that.

    Maybe there's a chemical imbalance, but the problem could be psychological, emotional or maybe even hormonal.

    When you talk to her about it, be calm and non judgemental , about anything she says, no matter what.. if you get her talking, what's eating her will come out if she feels safe enough to let it out.

    I'm prayin' for you, bro.

    Tom
     
  7. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Sorry to hear about this, Wes.

    My wife's family is prone to despression and anxiety issues. Kim's pretty stable, but her mom has had some pretty low times in the last 12 years. From what I have seen, 90% of her anxiety attacks have come about when things were, for a lack of a better word, boring. My personal opinion is that without exciting things to do or at least look forward to, she has extra time to dwell on things that bug her.

    I have noticed that people I know who I would describe as "depressed" seem to look at the negatives in their life, instead of focusing on the positives. For example, they focus on how much they are in debt as opposed to how much equity they have, or how little they have compared to their friends. I have also noticed that these people have poor spending habits and are "sick" more often than not.

    I think it boils down to the simple fact that some people are happier when they are miserable. It's almost like they never learned how to be positive. I'm a pretty happy guy, and try as I may, I have a couple of buddies that I just can't figure out- they're always bitching or complaining about something, and usually it involves money.

    As far as your wife goes, I wonder if these changes have something to do with being a newer mom. The first couple of years of being a mom have to suck- everything a mom does revolves around the kid, leaving little or no time for herself, and she is basically cut off from adult interaction other than with her husband, providing that he is around and not working extra hours or another job to make up for the loss of family income. There are also studies that have proven that women's changing hormonal levels can drastically alter their moods right around the time they stop breastfeeding and for a few months afterwards.......

    I don't know if this helped or not.:dunno:
     
  8. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Thanks Paul, along with everyone else, too. I feel a little better after reading some of the replies.

    After being married for 9.5 years so far with a 4 year old girl and almost 2 in Dec. son, I had settled into our "normal" life style. Evidently, my wife didn't. :(

    She claims the attacks started about a year ago when we were doing the transition of moving into our current home and selling the old one. Then little things started up that she says were nothing and stupid things.

    One of the stupid things that affected me with her was the fact she was lying to me for the past year, not just with the attacks, but with something I've never wanted her to do, for her sake, mine and our childrens: smoking cigarettes.

    I've known the whole time that she had been smoking but didn't know how much or how often. Her breath was the dead give away. Gum in her car was another as she's not a normal chewer. Only when she smoked.

    When I had confronted her about this, she admitted to it. Her excuse was that she didn't want to make me mad. Well, what about respect? She betrayed me. She cheated and lied to me. I had to find out the hard way and that only made it worse.

    Found out last night just exactly how much smoking she's been doing. She was a friends and then to work for around 4 to 6 hours total and she had done half a pack in that time frame. :eek1:

    She tells me she doesn't know what she wants out of our marriage anymore. I think she wants more smokes and wants more free time/space.

    I don't know. I'm still confused with her at the time being. She's blaming everything on her attacks. I'm so stressed now, I don't know how long I can handle it anymore.

    She did name off a bunch of small and stupid stuff that she says contributed to the attacks. I'm just wanting the damn Zoloft to "fix" her and get her back to normal. I don't even want her to leave me. Just wish the meds would hurry up and settle her down. :(
     
  9. therobzilla

    therobzilla 1/2 ton status

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    Wes,

    I don't know you very well, but I have some very good first hand experience with this.

    I won't go into extreme details, but I will offer my experience to you via PM.

    I have been married to my wife for 15 years now and have a 11 year old boy and a 9 year old daughter.

    You need to understand that these things are out of your wifes control.

    PM me if you wish and we can talk more. It's a very complex situiation for both you and your wife.

    Rob
     
  10. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Rob, thanks for the offer. I'm sending a PM now..... :waytogo:
     
  11. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Good friends and solid support are very helpful
     
  12. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Geez, that's really bad news. Here's my take on things:

    1. Like I said before, being a mom is tough. Some people can handle the stress, other need help coping with it. Apparently a couple of smokes is helping her deal with it. Different strokes for different folks. Yeah, smokes are bad for you, you're right. Was she a smoker before you guys decided to have kids? Take it from a guy who could never fully beat the ol' nicotine demon- some people who quit smoking are what I refer to as "smokers who aren't presently smoking", meaning that they are always gonna fall back to it. I quit smoking, moved onto chewing tobacco, quit that, and now smoke a couple of cigars a day. I KNOW that I just don't have it in me to ever fully stop. Cop out? Yeah I guess. Realistic? Yup.

    2. The real reason you're pissed is not the smoking, but the way your wife hid it from you. I totally understand where you AND HER are coming from, because the same thing happened between Kim and I. I had quit smoking, but a guy who worked with me smoked so I started having the odd one. After a while I started buying a pack here and there- it would last me a week or so. I hid the fact that I was smoking from Kim, and when she found out my smokes in my truck one day she hit the roof. SHE WAS WAY MORE UPSET ABOUT THE FACT THAT I HID IT FROM HER THAN THAT I WAS HAVING THE ODD SMOKE. I thought I was doing her a favor by hiding it from her, partly because I knew she would be disappointed that I had started smoking again, but when my cover was blown it became an issue of trust and honesty. ALTHOUGH I HAD NEVER OUTRIGHT LIED(she had never asked), I HAD BROKEN THE "NO SECRETS" RULE, which is essentially the same thing. BTW, when you first suspected that she was smoking, you probably should have busted her right away. By pretending that you didn't know what was going on, you actually became part of the problem.

    3. I like you Wes, and I'm not trying to pry into your life or insinuate anything, but honestly, how is your relationship with your wife? Are you guys still "in love"? I'm not asking if you love her, but rather if you still get that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have a long smooch. Do you take an active roll in raising the kids? Do you help her out around the house? Does she get a chance to go out by herself or with her friends WITHOUT THE KIDS once in a while? Do you guys make big decisions as a team?

    From the outside looking in, and without the benefit of hearing both sides of the story, I would say that you guys REALLY need to sit down and get to the root of things. If all of this started with the move, I would hazard to guess that something about it(location, house, new job?) has made her unhappy and she hasn't found a way to tell you that she would have rather stayed in the old place or bought a bigger place or moved to a different town. What about you? Did the move make you harder or easier to live with?

    Anyhow, I would highly recommend that you guys get it all out in the open, either alone or with a professional counsellor/psychologist. Communication is the key, and it sounds like there has been a lack of it at your place for the last while.........

    Best of luck, brother. I hate to see a good friend in this sort of predicament.:(
     
  13. therobzilla

    therobzilla 1/2 ton status

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    Check you PM, there are a few from me on there.

    Rob
     
  14. MarcS

    MarcS 1/2 ton status

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    I'm sorry to hear about your wifes problem. I'm glad she went for help.

    I know first hand how they can be. I started getting them after my mother died. A long 2 yr battle with cancer. She was all I had left. My father had died suddenly 6 yrs before and my brother died at 33 yrs old in 1993. I started thinking I was next.

    They are like a uncontrollable wave coming at you. You think you can control them, but most of the time you can't. It just takes you over. I waited a year before getting something for it (Paxil) because I felt I was just being weak. Then one day I had a attack and wound up in the ER with a blood pressere of 190/100. THAT CHANGED MY MIND. I got the pills. I was a basket case for a couple of weeks but they DO work. Both of you hang in there. She is going to need stability and support until the stuff kicks in. If she has 1 week down, I would think she should start noticing a difference during this next one.

    I'm not married or have any kids, so all I'll say is it sounds like Canmore and Rob have some good advise and experience for you. It's good to know this community supports it's members even though were miles away from each other.

    I wish you both the best.

    P.S.
    There is some good info on WebMD about anxiety.
     
  15. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    you are right TOM,and so are you PAUL.you are the bestest. :D :bow:
     
  16. Leper

    Leper 1/2 ton status

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    I used to have a REAL stressful job. It got to me and I was taken to the emergency room for a heart attack. Doctors told me it was an anxiety attack(panic attack). They gave me betablockers for it. After the first atttack, they came on more easily. I had to keep the pills on me at all times. Whenever I would get stressed out I could feel it starting. A few months later, I changed jobs. Threw the remaining pills away 6 months ago. Don't need them anymore. STRESS WILL KILL YOU.
     

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