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How Men Really Feel

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by 88Silverado, Jun 21, 2003.

  1. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2003
    Posts:
    2,664
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    Location:
    Quartz Hill, So. Cal
    Please note .. These are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

    1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl.
    If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it
    down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it
    down.

    1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
    quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet
    again!

    1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with
    it.

    1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the
    changing of the tides. Let it be.

    1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going
    to think of it that way.

    1. Crying is blackmail.

    1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

    1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and
    anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently
    beforehand.

    1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes -- tops. What
    makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which
    pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to
    almost every question.


    1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
    solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your
    girlfriends are for.

    1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem.
    See a doctor.

    1. Check your oil! Please.

    1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
    argument. In fact, all comments become null and void
    after 7 days.

    1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
    girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
    ask us. We refuse to answer.

    1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
    and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
    the other one.

    1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us
    how you want it done. Not both. If you already know
    best how to do it, just do it yourself.

    1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to
    say during commercials.

    1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and
    neither do we.

    1. The relationship is never going to be like it was
    the first two months we were going out. Get over it.
    And quit whining to your girlfriends.

    1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
    settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
    Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve
    is.

    1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

    1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our
    lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how
    little we care about you.

    1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we
    will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying,
    but it is just not worth the hassle.

    1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
    expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
    you wear is fine. Really.

    1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you
    are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the
    shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

    1. You have enough clothes.

    1. You have too many shoes.

    1. Peanuts are as exciting for us as handbags are for
    you.

    1. I'm in shape. ROUND is a shape.


    BTW, we really don't mind sleeping on the couch, it's like camping.
     
  2. bryguy00b

    bryguy00b 3/4 ton status

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    Location:
    Rochester, N.Y
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  3. Topdown

    Topdown 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Vancouver, Washington, U.S.A
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  4. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
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    Location:
    portland oregon
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  5. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Posts:
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    Location:
    Salem, Or.
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