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How much does family SUCK?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by newyorkin, Aug 22, 2002.

  1. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    I'm supposed to be buying a house from my mom and dad. When they were a little older than I am now, they bought a second house with 2 apartments to rent out. My two older sisters both rented the smaller apartment right after they each got married, then moved out when they bought a house. So, naturally, I moved in after I got married, and have been here for 5 years or so. The house is decrepid and falling apart at this point, I've already sunk a few piles of money fixing a few things up (most/all of the "nest egg" we had saved for a house downpayment), with the thought that we would be buying it in the next year.

    There are a bunch of reasons we were going to buy this house, one being that my parents can't afford to fix it up. If we buy it, we eliminate the apartments and they don't have to worry about compliance, we fix it up, so they don't worry about that, etc, etc.

    So my damn sisters come along, and they're all pissed off because I'm getting a house "handed" to me, and they worked hard for what they have and thier houses. Nevermind that I'm buying this run-down piece of $#!+ dump at a above market value. Nevermind that while they made the same money as me, 10 years ago when they bought thier houses, they bought at market value which was one f*&^%$$#@ third of what it is today!!!! The only reason we can buy this house is because we know the seller, and have an exclusive on it before it hits the market, and are giving them their wierd terms and price!

    So when all is said and done, I'm paying more (almost double) than either of my sisters are for a house that's in worse shape and needs more work. And they're pissed off 'cause they somehow think they're missing a piece of the pie or theirs isn't big enough.

    Oh yeah, one more little factor they seem to forget. My grandmother died when I was 11. But she was alive and able to take both my sisters to disneyf-ingworld, europe, hawaii, and tibuktu. Then's there my eldest sisters college that Grandma paid for, oh yeah, the brand new '85 cutlass supreme... I got a trainset before they died.

    Oh geez, I forot to mention, when my most-pissed sister was living here, her husband offered my parents $100k for it, which at the time was way below market value. But I'm the moocher and abuser.

    So I tell my mom I'm sick of this crap, we're just going to cut our losses and buy a nice house in PA where I'll train 2 hours each way to work everyday, but have a nice house that I'm not paying through the nose for, I'll have my right to carry, I'll be able to wheel and hunt occasionally, I can have a couple different vehicles parked in the yard without pissing off the neighbors, we'll just be away from family (which ain't too bad of an idea right now). And my mom says, "you're not buying this for you, you're buying this because your fsther and I can't afford any other option!" So great, now I'm roked in by my mom, and the rest of the family thinks I'm an a-hole.

    Here's a kicker, and why I'm so pissed off. I hooked my brother up with a really good laptop that I had planned on Ebaying for commuter car cash, for FREE because he's my brother. He doesn't think our house deal is right, either. Part of our plan was to keep part of the apartment for him and my youngest brother, since it's sort of tradition to live here for awhile after we get married. He's not interested in that, but still finds it ok to knock us 1 rung back down the ladder.

    Lesson learned:

    No matter how big a piece they get, selfish people aren't happy 'til they know they have and will always have more than you.
     
  2. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    Don't let yer Mom guilt you into buying something like that for double the price you could get something else for...let one of your siblings ante up. /forums/images/icons/grin.gif

    Seriously, why should you? I'd buy the place in PA and enjoy the distance from your family.

    Rene
     
  3. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Well, a positive of us buying it is that this is a perfect commuting location, and we wanted to stay in NY to keep the kids near family, and personally, Im afraid PA might make my wife go stir crazy with the family being so far away. My wife also loves old/antique houses, which this one is.
    My mom's not guilting us into buying it, but shes not really letting us out of it after we said we were into it... Hell, at this point, Im getting pretty set on PA no matter what. I should charge my family the housing inflation up there. When we were first looking a year ago, houses were $20k less than they are now, because theres rumor of a new commuter rail to NYC...
     
  4. behemoth

    behemoth 1/2 ton status

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    Coming from a very disfunctional family, I can relate to what you're saying. Rule number
    one is: Take care of YOURSELF and YOUR immediate family (wife and kids). Your siblings
    are (allegedly) grown up and can handle themselves (or maybe not?) Don't let your mother
    "guilt" you into ANYTHING! Mine tried for years! They'll all change after you move away
    for a while (especially your folks). Good luck.

    That'll be $200 for the therapy session. I take cash only !!!! LOL !! /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif
     
  5. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Send your sisters bills for putting up with thier whinning. Bill your mom for re-embursement for therapy. See how they respond. Might be worth a laugh /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif
     
  6. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    You're a big boy now, you can take care of yourself and make your OWN decisions. You do not need mommy to help/guide/tell you what you can and cannot do.

    I just watched a lady friend of my wife's sell her house to her son, for way below market value. All because she wanted him to keep the house in the family. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif
    Turns out the sons wife, whom is a bitch, wanted the mom to pay for the stuff that needed fixing. /forums/images/icons/mad.gif Even though the house sold for way, way less than market value, she still did not come out on top. /forums/images/icons/frown.gif

    Where I'm at, houses are cheaper and building new houses run at around $100K, or a little higher.

    Used homes go for around $50K or less, depending on the location.

    The lady friend of my wifes, had the house appraised at $55K and she sold it to her son for "only" $35K. /forums/images/icons/tongue.gif That's $15K she could have had EXTRA!! If she would have sold it over the market.

    This is why I told my wife that nobody should EVER do business with family members. Something ALWAYS comes up that causes rif rafs and the fights are just not worth it.

    Simply move on and forget about the deal. Just not worth the hassles. /forums/images/icons/wink.gif
     
  7. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Yeah I agree. My wife loves this house, though, and daydreams about being on this old house with Bob Vila, and tehre are a ton of advantages to buying it. The disadvantages seem to be outweighing it though.

    I've always said the same thing, business with family is a bad idea, but with the rest of the family out of the picture, this is a win-win situation. It's just the damn siblings that come in and muck it up...
     
  8. k20

    k20 3/4 ton status

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    in my opinion there are 3 things to think about
    1. You dont have to answer to your siblings so say the he|| with them.
    2. Doesnt PA have some weird lift laws?
    3. If in PA you'd have to change ur CK5 name /forums/images/icons/smirk.gif
    Personally, I'd forget what ur siblings are saying, and if you and your wife want the house, buy it, if not, look in PA, but dont let ur sister's talk you out of it on a guilt trip.
     
  9. Blaze

    Blaze 1/2 ton status

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    If you want it, but it and let your siblings work it out. My sister and I had a big fight that created a big tension between us, but it worked itself out and we are great friends again. Wish we didn't live 3 hours apart anymore.
     
  10. TITAN

    TITAN 1/2 ton status

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    This is harder than what everyone is making it out to be. I lost my sister April 16th of last year at 24 years old. The only reason that I am telling you this is do to the fact that we used to tease about filing lawsuits against one another over my mother’s house. I would give anything to let her have it now. Don't let monetary things such as a house come between families, it is only a possession. I understand that family can sometimes be a real bitch but sometimes you just have to tell them that this is the way it is no further comments PERIOD. Then tell them that you love them. Also if you can't get them to listen to you, write them a letter, people will for some damn reason keep reading it even if it is not what they like to read. Worked on me, then you can get you whole point across and then maybe it will make sense to them. Cause trust me you will miss them when they are gone, and it is funny how every little nasty comment or jester mad in anger is remembered after it's to late to say I'm sorry.
     

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