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How to argue with women!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by gauder, Dec 17, 2005.

  1. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    Saw this somewhere else, it's good for a laugh:

    My friend sent me this link to another forum, and its worth posting...

    Arguing with girls, like yoga, is a meaningless and inane exercise. A lot of guys hate doing it, most notably because it never seems like we can win. But you can win. Here's how.

    Step 1. Abandon all logic. Girls don't use it, and you certainly shouldn't allow it to handicap you.

    Step 2. If you believe strongly in something, do NOT give in to any aspect of it. Compromise is useless against girls, because they will rationalize that if they can get you to concede to one element, they can get you to quit on the whole ****in' Periodic Table. (Nothing like a little chemistry humor, right?)

    Step 3. Don't be afraid to take cheap shots. Ever argue with a girl about something and they randomly insult you with something that has no relevance to the argument? That's their way of trying to wear you down and push you off-topic. Fight fire with fire, I say. Tell her she has a fat ass, small boobs, an ugly face, disorienting facial hair, unwieldy hips, and is a genuinely awful person.

    Step 4. Cite precedent. Girls have no concept of historical factors relating to the current situation. Most girls reading this just went over to dictionary.com to see what "precedent" meant.

    Step 5. Interrupt her. Don't let her talk. Girls hate that like they hate other girls. It's hilarious, too. They get all frazzled.

    Step 6. Don't take her seriously. Laugh at every point she deems serious in nature. Fart, if possible. Derail her emotional train.

    Step 7. If the argument escalates, cut off all communication with her. If a girl can't find you, she can't continue arguing about bull****. Change your phone number, relocate, and get a name change if you must.

    Step 8. Don't be fooled by "Let's stop arguing please." That's their way of making you let your guard down, so they can swoop in after you're worn down. Instead, say something like "Yeah, all this being right is exhausting for me." Pisses them off. Just trust me.

    Step 9. Compare her unfavorably with another girl. This is especially effective if the comparison is with a girl that they simply abhor. Tell her something like, "Lisa is so much more compassionate than you." Girls hate other girls, like a deer hates a shotgun. And how do you take down a deer? Exactly.

    Step 10. Don't be intimidated by the water works. That's their ultimate contingency, knowing that guys can't deal with a crying girl. Stay strong, don't let yourself get emotional, just think of something funny. Replay scenes from "Office Space" in your head if you must.

    Step 11. Bust out, "I don't feel like fighting. I've proven my point." Then stop. Leave the argument. It pisses them off because a guy's natural reaction is to resolve, whereas a girl's is to continue forever and ever until the end of time until they hear that they are right. If a guy decides that he is right and won't budge, their whole concept of male-female relations is shot to ****. Again, mind games.

    Step 12. Ask her if she's on the rag. Self-explanatory.

    Step 13. When all else fails, tell her she's just like her mother. It's an ace-in-the-hole and will emotionally cripple her to such a degree she may even forget her whole argument.
     
  2. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

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    F12 print, must memorize.

    saw a list of things not to say in anarugment once.

    stuff like

    oh honey can you put giant ****ing cork on the shoping list?

    you going to cry cry for mommy?

    you sure you dont want to check with the great opra on this one?

    and the last was : " who are you kidding we both know that is not loaded!"
     
  3. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    Might help with the arguement but would make them a whole lot madder.
     
  4. drofdar

    drofdar 1/2 ton status

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    Want to make them insane? Never argue with women. A Man must always be ready to walk. Unless, of course, you have children.
     
  5. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    What's that? I (unt hear you. I have an ear infuction.
     
  6. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

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    I beg to differ. Ever dated a yoga chick? Can you say flexibility.... [​IMG]

    Anyway, that list is absolutely invaluable IF you don't plan on having any relations with said girl past-argument. I know a couple arguments where I could have used that list. :haha:
     
  7. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    Arguing with a woman is like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer: DAMN it fells good when you finally stop!!!!
     
  8. gjk5

    gjk5 3/4 ton status

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    Step 13 screws me every time, even when I say it good-naturedly.


    Gauder, your reply reminds me of the old "C.an't U.nderstand N.ormal T.hinking".
     

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