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How to Call in Sick

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by dontoe, Aug 13, 2005.

  1. dontoe

    dontoe 3/4 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    How to Call in Sick When You Just Need a Day Off

    Information on how to call in sick when you just need a day off.




    Steps
    1. Find a quiet place for the phone call.
    2. Call your boss.
    3. Don't sound guilty
    4. Keep the excuse short and to the point.
    5. Get off the phone as quickly as possible.


    Tips
    • If you can, call your boss's voice mail or send him an email rather than speaking with him or her directly. This avoids the possibility of questions and awkward advice that often trips up the caller.
    • When making the phone call, if you can do it early in the morning, when your voice is still rough with sleep, that will give added credibility.
    • For an added effect, bend over your toilet while pressing your forearm into your stomach so you begin to sound like your stomach is really being affected by whatever you are calling about. (Usually this would make you sound like you just finished vomiting.)
    • If you're outside the house, calling from your car might be the quietest place you can manage.
    • It's a good idea to mention in passing how you are feeling better or your car is all fixed when you return to work.
    • Keep an eye out for other people who have been sick at work and use the 'I must have gotten it from Jim in Accounting.' excuse.
    Warnings
    • It's important that your boss think you are sick in your bed. Blaring music or a loud TV can destroy that image as thoroughly as thousands of screaming fans at a football game.
    • Long rambling messages are to be avoided. When lying, you are tempted to embellish. Don't. When calling in sick, less is more. The old standbys of food poisoning, flu, cold, all work because we've all been through them.
    • Calling in sick without being sick is best done for one day (or possibly two days in a row). Longer than that may require a note from your doctor.
    • Don't come back to work the next day with a suntan, pictures, stories, etc. If you share what you have done with your coworkers, they may turn on you and tell your boss. Worse, they may steal all of your good excuses.
    • Be careful with car excuses unless you are willing to stay at home, since if someone from work sees you in town then you are busted.
    • Do not use an excuse about someone in your family dying because the boss can find out for sure and you will be caught in a lie. This will make you less credible to your boss when someone really does die.
    • Do not use a family member that is still alive. You might have to go to their funeral next week, or find yourself talking about an amazing party that the so called deceased is giving this weekend.
    • Try not to call in "sick" on too many Mondays or Fridays - extended weekends tend to stick out in the minds of bosses and co-workers. Calling out on the occasional Tuesday is more credible.
     
  2. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    call 1-800-I'm Gonna Peuke...

    I hated calling in sick--and listening to my boss whine about having to actually stay at the store and WORK for a change,rather than just going in to open the store,set up the cash drawers,and go back home and screw his wife or play on his "farm"... :surepal: --so most of the time when I WAS really sick,instead of calling in,I'd GO into work--

    After I used up a box of kleenex,coughed all over,and even actally barfed a couple of times :eek: --they would SEND me home,and say NOT to come back until I was all better! :pimp: :pimp: --I didn't do that on purpose--I just hated calling in sick,I'd rather go in and get sent home,rather than mumble and fumble on the phone!--its always better to show them in person you REALLY are ill,and not just faking for a day off.. :whistle: --but callin in IS better in a way--you dont get the whole gang sick at work from "sharing" your cold germs..

    I usually told the truth if I wanted a day off to go somewhere..I had a good relationship with most of my bosses,until it was time to miss a few days of work that is..they always had a conflicting "appointment" at the same day and time ,or a co-worker was already "off" that day,or some excuse to make life difficult!--my last boss I told him right up front if I needed time off,I expected to GET it,without any whining,since I RARELY took any days off,or callled in sick!...I only took 3 days off in over a year,out of the 18 months I worked there,so they never argued with me about that ... :crazy:
     
  3. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    I always just told them before i left work that i would be sick tomorrow. :dunno:
     
  4. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

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    yup--did that too!!

    Yes,I did that too--if I was sent home for being sick,I'd tell them not to expect me in tomorrow!--but most of my bosses wanted me to call in and confirm I'd be out sick anyway.. :( ...

    This reminds me of the "How To Get Out Of Jury Duty" posts I have read online! I avoided Jury duty by telling the judge when they asked if anyone had a reason to be excused,that I was the sole caretaker of my 77 year old mother with emphasema and senility,and also the fact I'd had the flu,diarrea,and vomiting for 3 days prior to being at the courthouse!(No Lie either,I really did have the flu!)..the Judge retracted his extended hand I was about to shake,stepped back about 3 feet,and said "no problem!--your EXCUSED!... :D :D :D :D --Thank You your Honor! :bow: :bow: :bow: ;)
     
  5. Jishory

    Jishory 1/2 ton status

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    haha i have called in sick from fast food bathrooms while on road trips or on the trail if i get service, i have a crappy work ethic
     
  6. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    My true sicknesses usually creep up one me, so my boss sees it coming

    When I fall asleep in the private party room all afternoon, time to take a break
     
  7. SkulzNBonz

    SkulzNBonz 1/2 ton status

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    Here's one I like.

    Me: Yeah, I can't come to work today, I'm sick.
    Boss: Well, you don't sound sick.
    Me: I'm boinking my sister, is that sick enough?!?!? :eek1: :haha: :haha:

    John
     

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