Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

How To Get Out Of A Traffic Ticket!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Muddytazz, Dec 24, 2003.

  1. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Posts:
    20,073
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

    Officer: May I see your driver's license?
    Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
    Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

    Officer: The car is stolen?
    Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
    Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

    Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
    Driver: Yes, sir.

    Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
    Driver: Sure. Here it is.

    It was valid.

    Captain: Who's car is this?
    Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.

    The driver owned the car.

    Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
    Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

    Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

    Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
    Driver: No problem.

    Trunk is opened; no body.

    Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

    Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!
     
  2. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2001
    Posts:
    6,503
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Northern Virginia
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. BowtieRed

    BowtieRed 1/2 ton status Author

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2002
    Posts:
    1,776
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Winston-Salem, NC
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  5. k5ntexas

    k5ntexas 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Oct 29, 2001
    Posts:
    2,517
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    corpus christi, texas.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  6. 350350

    350350 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2003
    Posts:
    939
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    How NOT to get out of a ticket:

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] Any speed over 100mph Ya Ain't Gonna talk your way out of, unless you're a Hot Blonde.

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] When the officer hands you the ticket to sign, ask him or her, "So is it as satisfying being a Meter Maid as you thought it would be?"

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] Evade him for like an hour, then have him find you at a Restaurant and make a scene trying to arrest you because your car 'Looked Like' the one he had chased an hour ago.

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] Have a giant racing strip on your hood that says "Tuned Port Injection" or any other reference to high performance underhood equipment.

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] Lose traction of any kind, inline, sideways, or otherwise.

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] Go 100mph in a car you just bought on the East Coast 24 hours ago and haven't registered in your own name, have the open title on your desk at home, and the car still has NY plates and registration on it. "Yeah, sure it's not stolen buddy. Step out of the car."

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/4/saeek.gif[/image] And so on and so forth.

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/a0/rottease.gif[/image] In my entire life I've been pulled over probably 5x more times than there's been good reason to do so. Nearly 100% of those times I've gotten a ticket. Basically, I generally look scruffy with old clothes on and drive a beater, so it's assumed that I'm a dirtbag that needs his car searched for drugs. A couple of weeks ago I was humming along at about 85 in a 55 in my '95 Z28. It has ZR-1 Wheels and the windows are tinted far beyond the legal limit. (Although most of the police cars locally have their windows tinted past the legal limit as well...) When you drive a car that looks fast, whether it is or not, you're getting the ticket... Long story short, I got a verbal warning! /forums/images/graemlins/eek.gif I have newfound Love and Respect for local law enforcement!

    [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/h0/crazy.gif[/image] Seriously though I know those folks have one tough-ass job. Recently on two separate occasions officers were killed in routine traffic stops by passing semi's. Another was shot and killed for unknown reasons when he stopped to help a motorist change a flat tire. GodSpeed to those of you risking it for us every day! [image]http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/_950/ole.gif[/image]
     
  7. 350350

    350350 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2003
    Posts:
    939
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    Well that looks like crap!!! What's different now that makes my smilies not work right? They work ok in other places...

    /forums/images/graemlins/confused.gif
     
  8. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2002
    Posts:
    11,449
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Cleveland Ohio
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  9. gotmud?

    gotmud? 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2002
    Posts:
    1,172
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    up north
    [ QUOTE ]
    Well that looks like crap!!! What's different now that makes my smilies not work right? They work ok in other places...

    [/ QUOTE ]
    What you talking bout Willis? [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
     
  10. Confedneck

    Confedneck 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2002
    Posts:
    5,236
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lehigh Acres, Florida
    "im what willis was talkin bout" /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  11. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Posts:
    20,073
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    oh man, and that in itself is a scarey subject /forums/images/graemlins/shocked.gif /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  12. 350350

    350350 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2003
    Posts:
    939
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    USA
    [ QUOTE ]
    [ QUOTE ]
    Well that looks like crap!!! What's different now that makes my smilies not work right? They work ok in other places...

    [/ QUOTE ]
    What you talking bout Willis? [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Hey! How'd You Do That???

    And, Yes, Confed IS what Willis was always Talkin' 'Bout!!!
     

Share This Page