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How to talk about a woman and be P.C. (another funny thing)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Capman2k, Mar 28, 2002.

  1. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    DON'T HURT ME, LADIES...


    How To Speak About Women
    (excluding your mother, of course)
    and be POLITICALLY CORRECT:


    She is not a BABE or a CHICK
    She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
    She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE
    She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.
    She is not an UNTOUCHABLE SNOB
    She is a SCRATCH RESISTANT MODEL.
    She is not a BAD COOK
    She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.
    She is not HALF NAKED
    She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED.
    She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY
    She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.
    She is not CONCEITED
    She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.
    She does not want to be MARRIED
    She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.
    She does not GAIN WEIGHT
    She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.
    She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER
    She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.
    She is not EASY
    She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
    She does not TEASE or FLIRT
    She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
    She is not DUMB
    She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
    She is not TOO SKINNY
    She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.
    She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE
    She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.
    She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS
    She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.
    She has not BEEN AROUND
    She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME
    She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.
    She does not GET YOU EXCITED
    She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
    She is not KINKY
    She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
    She does not have a KILLER BODY
    She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
    She does not GO SHOPPING
    She is MALL FLUENT.
    She is not an AIRHEAD
    She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
    She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY
    She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
    She does not get FAT or CHUBBY
    She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.
    She is not COLD or FRIGID
    She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.
    She is not HORNY
    She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED.
    She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP
    She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.
    She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS
    She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
    She does not NAG YOU
    She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE.
    She is not a SLUT
    She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
    She is not LOOSE
    She is ELASTICALLY UNDERPRIVILEGED.
    She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS
    She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
    She is not a TWO BIT WHORE
    She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
     
  2. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Okay .....where's Lara's header's? /forums/images/icons/smile.gif LOL! ! ! That was a good one though. I'll give ya that.
     
  3. NoAngel

    NoAngel 1/2 ton status

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    I think they're funny as hell! I can see it now "Hey Bob, your girlfriend is pectorally superior to my girlfriend! Lucky you!"
     

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