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Hummmmm

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, Jan 19, 2005.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

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    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    What is the speed of darkness?

    Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

    If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

    If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
     
  2. joez

    joez 1/2 ton status

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    :haha::haha: Thats great!
     
  3. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    RJ you have been summoned
     
  4. walla2k5

    walla2k5 1/2 ton status

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    :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: Can't wait for this
     
  5. 3 on the tree

    3 on the tree 1/2 ton status

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    HELP MR WIZARD!!!
     
  6. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    I was just going to make fun of him posting soccer mom musings but if you insist

    Some odd link to masturbation..... I haven't had the time or energy to get an in depth study... I may make Stave do it..... ever see the monkeys at the zoo?

    It's like trading futures on the stock market. Imagine a rock with a hole drilled in it with a rope tied through it swinging is a circle at the speed of sound. It's like that but without the rock or rope

    You can't **** up the starts by counting them for proof, but you can sure **** up someone's paintjob by poking it. A wicked ingrained evil. Also shown in stealing my pizza.

    The inside of the bottle in coated with antiglue and microrganisms with teeny tiny putty knives

    All exectuted criminals are ebing made into a zombie army.... we don;t need zombies with staph infections....

    He's actually twelve years old...

    It's hard to duck a bullet.

    The helmets were filled with pyrodex

    It's fitting. It sounds like what it is. Beautiful is a smooth word. Ugly is stunted. Michel Moore is bloated.

    Faster than the speed of light. Didn't you watch "flight of dragons"?

    No, but 90% of them are crippled spaces, and are spread evenly, not at the front. All the blue is pretty.

    With an apology for sedning such a ****ty gift

    Room temerature *70 to *0 is 70 so -70. Or 00.

    Because people are still being evaluated (and it doesn't look good). Either that or our inferior morality system is keeping us from killing them all.

    Being helped..... and smoking

    This isn't a question, it's a bad phrasing of a joke.


    It's a body count, not a persona count, one body, one life.
     
  7. 75-K5

    75-K5 3/4 ton status

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    Incorrect. Fahrenheit isn't a real representation of heat. As in 100*F does not mean it's twice as hot as 50*. If it were twice as cold as 0*F (which is 255 K) then it would be 127.5 K which is -230*F

    ;)
     
  8. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    GUESS HOW MUCH I CARE :laugh:
     
  9. 75-K5

    75-K5 3/4 ton status

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    About 20 Kelvin's worth?:grin:
     
  10. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    I would say a lack or lapse of common sense
     
  11. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    Jesus to God

    "All sons have physics jokes dad"

    "They groaned at that you know"

    "Yeah I know, and it wasn't even a groaner, it was the wierdest ****ing line I'd ever heard!'
     
  12. 75-K5

    75-K5 3/4 ton status

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    You are insurmountable
     
  13. big_truxx

    big_truxx 1/2 ton status

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    "Got R J?"
     
  14. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    The secret to sounding insane or odd is 75% true imagination 15% intellegence, and 10% obscure references
     

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