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I haven't laughed this hard in a long time

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Paxx, Jun 20, 2004.

  1. Paxx

    Paxx 1/2 ton status

    Feb 9, 2003
    Likes Received:
    All Over Western Canada
    I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    I found a link to these cybersex conversations. This is some of the funniest [darn] I have read in a long time. /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    I really get a kick out of how long he keeps some of them going for.

    HAARRRRRR!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  2. Paxx

    Paxx 1/2 ton status

    Feb 9, 2003
    Likes Received:
    All Over Western Canada
  3. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

    Dec 3, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    [ QUOTE ]
    I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    /forums/images/graemlins/dunno.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
    Weird but amusing
  4. bigcountryk5

    bigcountryk5 1/2 ton status

    Mar 13, 2004
    Likes Received:
    G-vegas(Greenville) South Carolina
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    WOW that was wrong in so many ways but funny as hell /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  5. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status Premium Member

    Jun 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Salem, Or.
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    OMG, that has got to be some of the weirdest sh!t I've read in a long time /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
  6. Nonesuch

    Nonesuch 1/2 ton status

    Jul 16, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Austin(Leander), TX
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    That pirate chit had me /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
  7. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

    Feb 7, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Richmond, VA
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    [ QUOTE ]
    That pirate chit had me /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    [/ QUOTE ]

    HAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
  8. Paxx

    Paxx 1/2 ton status

    Feb 9, 2003
    Likes Received:
    All Over Western Canada
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    These are great too

    Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

    Where does this guy get this stuff /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
  9. stallion85

    stallion85 1/2 ton status

    Jul 11, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Cedar City, UT
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

  10. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

    Apr 20, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    [ QUOTE ]
    This conversation is real. It took place over AOL Instant Messenger. Only the names have been changed to
    protect starcrftmaniac and PunkgirlAngl, I mean, the innocent.

    [/ QUOTE ]

  11. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time


    So I was having cybersex the other day. It was pretty good I guess. Here it is:

    bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
    BritneySpears14: Aight.
    bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
    BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
    bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
    bloodninja: Me too baby.
    BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
    bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
    BritneySpears14: Hey...
    bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
    BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
    bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
    BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
    bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
    bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
    BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of [darn].
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
    bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
    bloodninja: Baby?

    Yeah it was pretty sweet.


    This one was good.

    bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
    j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
    bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
    j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
    bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
    j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
    j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
    j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
    bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.
    j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
    bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
    bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
    j_gurli3: thats it.
    bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
    bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.


    This kinda sucked.

    BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
    eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
    BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
    eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
    BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
    BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
    eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
    BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
    eminemBNJA: Oh [darn]
    BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.
    eminemBNJA: Oh [darn]
    eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something


    Ew this chick was nasty. Yeeeeaah.

    bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
    bloodninja: What like gardening an [darn]?
    Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
    bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
    bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
    Katie_007: is that it?
    bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
    bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
    Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
    bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
    bloodninja: I ride your buttocks like they were amber waves of grains.
    Katie_007: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
    bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
    bloodninja: Damn baby you're right, this [darn] is HOTT.
    Katie_007: ...
    bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
    Katie_007: What the f*ck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
    bloodninja: Yeah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
    Katie_007: whatever.


    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
    Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
    Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of
    barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
    Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
    Wellhung: OK
    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
    Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
    Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
    Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
    Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
    Sweetheart: What?
    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
    Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
    Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
    Sweetheart: What's the matter?
    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
    Sweetheart: Are you OK?
    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
    Sweetheart: Can I help?
    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
    Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
    Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
    Wellhung: I found it.
    Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
    Wellhung: Me too.
    Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
    Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
    Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
    Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
    Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
    Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
    Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
    Sweetheart: What?
    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
    Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
    Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
    Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
    Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
    Sweetheart: <logged off>


    Practice safe cybersex. Enjoy

    hotstud69: Hello there
    blondebabe4u: Hi
    hotstud69: What is your name?
    blondebabe4u: Sandy, urs?
    hotstud69: Bob, nice to meet you.. what are you doing tonight?
    blondebabe4u: Nothing, just chatting, u?
    hotstud69: not too much, just sitting around... what are you wearing?
    blondebabe4u: oh just my thong and a tank top.
    hotstud69: oh wow, I would love to see that, what do you look like?
    blondebabe4u: I am 5'6" blonde hair, green eyes, 120 lbs, you?
    hotstud69: i am 6'0" 175, brown hair, blue eyes, and tan
    blondebabe4u: you sound very handsome
    hotstud69: how about I pull that tank top off?
    blondebabe4u: Oh Bob, i would love for you too....
    hotstud69: Oh yea, those look great... they feel nice too
    blondebabe4u: yes bob, my 36D's like that, you are good
    hotstud69: oh yes, they feel so good, I am squeezing them..
    blondebabe4u: yes bob, you know what you are doing.
    hotstud69: Oh yea, I am getting so excited
    blondebabe4u: need me to help you there Bob
    hotstud69: oh yea, let me unzip for you
    blondebabe4u: oh wow bob, you have a nice one
    hotstud69: OH [darn]
    blondebabe4u: What?
    hotstud69: SON OF A BITCH!!!
    blondebabe4u: whats wrong?
    hotstud69: Got it stuck in the zipper...
    blondebabe4u: What?
    hotstud69: oh god, I am bleeding.....
    blondebabe4u: bob, are you ok?
    hotstud69: OMG... OMG...
    blondebabe4u: Bob??
    hotstud69: I am feeling faint... blood everywhere...
    blondebabe4u: are you ok?
    hotstud69: HOLY [darn]!!!!!!!!!!
    blondebabe4u: what bob what??
    hotstud69: IT FEEL OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
    blondebabe4u: fell off?
    hotstud69: it is on the floor, laying there... I am looking at it, damn, thought it would be bigger.........
    blondebabe4u: call an abulance...
    hotstud69: I can't
    blondebabe4u: why
    hotstud69: Because I am on the computer
    blondebabe4u: well get off
    hotstud69: the last time tried to get off, my dick fell off........
    blondebabe4u: bob??
    blondebabe4u: bob??
    blondebabe4u: bob??
    hotstud69: has left the room


    This conversation is real. It took place over AOL Instant Messenger. Only the names have been changed to
    protect starcrftmaniac and PunkgirlAngl, I mean, the innocent.

    Girl: Hi
    Boy: hello
    Boy: who is this?
    Girl: just a someone?
    Boy: A someone I know?
    Girl: nope
    Boy: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
    Girl: well sorrrrrry
    Girl: I just wanted to chat with you
    Boy: why?
    Girl: nevermind your an [darn]
    Boy: Hey wait a minute
    Girl: yes?
    Boy: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
    Girl: paranoid?
    Boy: yes
    Girl: f what?
    Girl: me?
    Boy: No. I'm in hiding.
    Girl: LOL
    Boy: Don't [darn] laugh at me!
    Boy: This [darn] is serious!
    Girl: What are you hiding from?
    Boy: The cops.
    Girl: gimme a [darn] break
    Boy: I'm serious.
    Girl: I don't get it
    Boy: The cops are after me.
    Girl: For what?
    Boy: I'm wanted in three states
    Girl: For???
    Boy: It's kindof embarrasing.
    Boy: I had sex with a turkey.
    Boy: Hello?
    Girl: You are [darn] sick.
    Boy: Send me your picture.
    Girl: why?
    Boy: so I know you aren't one of them.
    Girl: One of what?
    Boy: The cops.
    Girl: I'm not a cop i told you
    Boy: Then send me your picture.
    Girl: hold on
    Boy: Hurry up.
    Boy: Are you there?
    Boy: [darn] you, cop!
    Girl: Hey sorry
    Girl: I had to do something for my mom.
    Boy: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
    Boy: When really you were notifying the authorities.
    Boy: Weren't you!?
    Girl: thats not it
    Boy: Then what?
    Girl: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
    Boy: Most cops aren't
    Girl: IM NOT A [darn] COP YOU DICKHEAD!
    Boy: Then send me the picture.
    Girl: fine. What's your e-mail?
    Boy: Just send it through here.
    Girl: alright *PIC*
    Girl: Did you get it?
    Boy: Hold on. I'm looking.
    Girl: That was me back in may
    Girl: I've lost weight since then.
    Boy: I hope so
    Girl: what?!?
    Girl: that hurt my feelings.
    Boy: Did it?
    Girl: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
    Boy: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
    Girl: yes
    Boy: Alright let me find it.
    Girl: kks
    Boy: Okay here it is. *PIC*
    Girl: this isn't you.
    Boy: I'll be damned if it ain't!
    Girl: You don't look like that.
    Boy: How the hell do you know?
    Girl: cause your profile has another picture.
    Boy: The profile pic is a fake.
    Boy: I use it to hide from the cops.
    Girl: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
    Boy: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
    Boy: Not to mention all the groceries.
    Girl: Go [darn] yourself
    Boy: I was going to until I saw that picture
    Boy: Now my dick won't get hard for a week.
    Girl: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
    Girl: You've done nothing but slam me.
    Girl: you hurt me.
    Boy: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
    Girl: I thought you were bullshitting me!
    Boy: Why would I do that?
    Girl: I can't believe that cops are after you
    Boy: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
    Girl: FUC YOU!!!
    Boy: You'd break both of his legs.
    Girl: You're a [darn] [darn].
    Girl: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
    Girl: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
    Boy: Ok. I'm sorry.
    Girl: No you aren't
    Boy: You're right. I'm not.
    Boy: HAARRRRR!
    Girl: I'm done with you
    Boy: Aww. I'm sorry.
    Girl: I'm putting you on ignore
    Boy: Wait a sec
    Boy: We got off on the wrong foot.
    Boy: Wanna start over?
    Girl: No
    Boy: I'll eat your pussy
    Girl: You'll what?
    Boy: You heard me.
    Boy: I said I'd eat your pussy.
    Girl: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
    Boy: Do I need a hard-on to eat your pussy?
    Girl: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
    Boy: Well I'm not like most men.
    Boy: I get excited in different ways.
    Girl: Like what?
    Boy: Do you really wanna know?
    Girl: I don't know
    Boy: You have to tell me yes or no.
    Girl: I'm afraid to
    Boy: Why?
    Girl: cause
    Boy: cause why?
    Girl: well lets see
    Girl: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
    Girl: doesn't that seem strange to you?
    Boy: Nope
    Girl: well its strange to me
    Boy: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
    Girl: I didn't say that
    Boy: So is that a yes?
    Girl: I guess so.
    Boy: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
    Boy: Are you willing?
    Girl: What do you need me to do?
    Boy: I need you talk like a pirate.
    Girl: ???
    Boy: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
    Boy: ok?
    Boy: Hello?
    Girl: You can't be serious
    Boy: Oh yes I am!
    Boy: It's my fantasy.
    Girl: this is retarded
    Boy: Do you want it or not?
    Girl: Yes I want it.
    Boy: Then you'll do it for me?
    Girl: sure
    Boy: Ok. Here we go.
    Boy: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
    Boy: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
    Boy: I softly begin to tounge your wet pussy.
    Boy: I run my tounge up and down your smooth slit.
    Girl: mmmm yeah
    Boy: uh oh ...going limp.
    Girl: Har
    Boy: You gotta do better than that!
    Boy: Your picture was really bad.
    Boy: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your pussy get more moist with every stroke.
    Boy: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
    Boy: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
    Boy: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
    Girl: mmmmmm you are good
    Boy: I feel your thighs tighten as I suck harder
    Boy: going limp
    Boy: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
    Boy: You begin to sway back and forth.
    Boy: going limp
    Girl: this is stupid
    Boy: ...still limp
    Boy: Do it!
    Boy: I turn you around to lick your [darn].
    Boy: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
    Boy: I see [darn] nuggets hanging from the hair around your [darn].
    Girl: WTF?!?!?
    Boy: They stink really bad.
    Girl: OMG STOP!!!
    Boy: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
    Boy: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
    Boy: I ram it up your ass.
    Girl: YOURE A [darn] PYSCHO!!
    Boy: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
    Boy: And turn you into a [darn] candy apple...
    Boy: I kick you in the face!
    Girl: [darn] YOU [darn]!!
    Boy: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
    Boy: Your parrot flys away.
    Boy: ...going limp again.
    Boy: Hello?
    Boy: Say it!
    Boy: HAARRRRRR!!!!!


    evil_sarah: So you like bbws?
    VictimX4: Nope...I Luv BBW"S...;o)))
    evil_sarah: You're sort of cute.
    VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o)))
    VictimX4: Am Truly Honored...
    evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to handle a woman like me.
    VictimX4: 24/7...........;o)))
    evil_sarah: So what would you do to me if I was there right now?
    VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking you from your toes up to your ears...
    evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then what?
    VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours...
    evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes.
    evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you?
    VictimX4: is ok with me...
    evil_sarah: Ok.
    evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert Storm.
    evil_sarah: They didn't show any of it on CNN, but it was hell over there.
    evil_sarah: I was really in the [darn].
    VictimX4: am a vet also...
    evil_sarah: yeah. From what war?
    VictimX4: Nam Era...
    evil_sarah: Really?
    evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over there?
    VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a Tanker...
    evil_sarah: You kill any women and children?
    VictimX4: not that I Know of...
    evil_sarah: I did.
    evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame thrower.
    evil_sarah: They tried to tell me they were civilians but I knew better.
    evil_sarah: So I torched them.
    evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off one of my legs.
    VictimX4: was pretty lucky...came back "Almost" like I left...
    evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"?
    VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok Physically...
    evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever make a neclace out of ears?
    VictimX4: you never really forget...
    evil_sarah: I did.
    VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep my Sanity...
    evil_sarah: I still have a finger neclace that I wear every day.
    evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just like a bunch of beef jerky.
    VictimX4: did not get to bring anything back...
    evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the transport back so I had to hide it in my ass.
    evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching me.
    evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those times.
    evil_sarah: You were just about to oil up my stump.
    VictimX4: ok...
    evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do next.
    VictimX4: completely lost the mode...sorry...
    VictimX4: mood...
    evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon whores.
    VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes...
    VictimX4: they were not really all that hot...alll skin and bones...
    VictimX4: not cuddly at all...
    evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my hair.
    VictimX4: I like to do that...;o)))
    evil_sarah: What's up with that link on your profile? You have herpes?
    VictimX4: yes...one thing I did get to bring back...
    evil_sarah: I got it too from Kuwait.
    evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal with it.
    VictimX4: me also...
    evil_sarah: Does yours itch?
    VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a yr...
    evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy.
    evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning tire.
    evil_sarah: So come on. You were in the middle of oiling me up.
    evil_sarah: Let's get it on.
    VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe some other tyme...maybe???
    evil_sarah: No. Come on. You got me all excited now.
    evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with me?
    VictimX4: can not concentrate right now...
    evil_sarah: Why not?
    evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam are you?
    VictimX4: not really flashbacks...just bad memeories
    evil_sarah: Like what?
    evil_sarah: You hearing voices?
    evil_sarah: You got gooks in the peremiter?
    VictimX4: you always hear their voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces
    VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they were alive...
    evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now your're getting me hot. Keep going.
    evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my neclace right now. Hello?
    VictimX4: have to hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow.
    evil_sarah: No don't go!
    evil_sarah: I'm almost finished.
    evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the bigger ones from my neclace.
    VictimX4: don't have tyme
    evil_sarah: This ****ign vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese.
    VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye.
    evil_sarah: You pussy!
    evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman off.
    evil_sarah: You have no backbone.
    VictimX4: But I love you! You are a bbw!!
    evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam.
    evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack of matched
    evil_sarah: because my flamethrower was out of gas.
    VictimX4: Bye.
    evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains back in a mayonnaise jar.
    evil_sarah: I put it on crackers and eat it at special occasions.
    VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye.
    evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much left.
    evil_sarah: Are you still there?
    evil_sarah: ANSWER ME!


    Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l?
    kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u?
    Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa
    Bigbenny02: want to cyber?
    kwazyfwies: yes
    kwazyfwies: you start ok?
    Bigbenny02: ok then
    Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my breathing quickens
    kwazyfwies: I'm laying on my bed with just my blouse and nikers on
    Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated beast!
    kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come closer
    Bigbenny02: I run across the room and jump on top of you...
    kwazyfwies: easy big boy
    Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub your back slowly
    kwazyfwies: mmmm thats nice
    Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let loose an evil hissing sound
    kwazyfwies: wtf?
    Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha, i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood!
    kwazyfwies: forget it physco
    Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that babyface?
    kwazyfwies: no
    Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try again
    kwazyfwies: ok
    Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem.
    kwazyfwies: I moan softly
    Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose
    kwazyfwies: you sick [darn]
    Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash?
    kwazyfwies: bye looser.
    Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny?
    kwazyfwies: ...i don't
    Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior
    kwazyfwies: its not very big
    Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!!
    Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard!
    kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again
    Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch...
    Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis!
    kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you...
    Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it.
    Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!"
    Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you
    Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!"
    kwazyfwies: blocked. looza
    Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff


    VictimX_27: Hi there!
    cheesedog: HEYA!
    VictimX_27: What u up 2?
    cheesedog: Nice English.
    cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
    VictimX_27: Get [darn]
    cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
    cheesedog: What's your name?
    VictimX_27: Whats yours?
    cheesedog: I asked you first.
    VictimX_27: I asked you second
    cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
    VictimX_27: huh
    cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
    cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
    VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
    cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
    VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
    cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
    VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
    VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
    cheesedog: Yes it is
    VictimX_27: Very handsome
    cheesedog: Thanks
    VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
    cheesedog: [darn] you.
    VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
    VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
    cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
    VictimX_27: Yeah
    cheesedog: What do you look like?
    cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
    VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
    cheesedog: Why not?
    VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
    cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
    VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
    cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
    cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
    VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
    cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
    VictimX_27: Nahhh
    cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
    VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
    cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
    cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
    VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
    cheesedog: Why not?
    VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
    cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
    VictimX_27: You don't even know me
    cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
    VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
    cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
    cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
    VictimX_27: You don't understand
    cheesedog: Is it that bad?
    VictimX_27: YESSSSS
    cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
    cheesedog: She is the bomb!
    cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
    VictimX_27: Wheezy?
    cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
    VictimX_27: Who is that?
    cheesedog: George's wife.
    VictimX_27: Who is george
    cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
    cheesedog: Are you [darn] deaf?
    VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
    cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
    VictimX_27: wut?
    cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
    VictimX_27: Should I?
    cheesedog: Yes.
    VictimX_27: Well I don't.
    VictimX_27: huhhh?
    VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
    cheesedog: Hold on a second
    cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
    VictimX_27: Thats her?
    cheesedog: Yep
    VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
    cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
    VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
    cheesedog: What's funny?
    VictimX_27: u r
    cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
    VictimX_27: me 2
    cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
    VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
    cheesedog: Never
    VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
    cheesedog: ???
    VictimX_27: I'm very white
    cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
    VictimX_27: LOL
    cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
    VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
    cheesedog: really?
    VictimX_27: I'm an albino
    cheesedog: a what?
    VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
    cheesedog: I've heard the word before
    VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
    VictimX_27: So I'm all white
    cheesedog: This is bullshit
    VictimX_27: I'm serious!
    VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
    cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
    VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
    cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
    VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
    cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
    VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
    cheesedog: Ok
    VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
    cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
    VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
    cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
    cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
    cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
    VictimX_27: Thank u
    cheesedog: No problem
    cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
    VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
    cheesedog: Yes
    VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
    VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
    cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
    VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
    cheesedog: I'm serious
    VictimX_27: We'll see.
    cheesedog: Yes we will.
    VictimX_27: Bye for now!
    cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
    VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

    About 3 hours later...

    VictimX_27: HEY!
    cheesedog: Hello there
    VictimX_27: I'm back
    cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
    VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
    cheesedog: Interesting
    VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
    cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
    VictimX_27: LOL
    cheesedog: Is that a yes?
    VictimX_27: Could be
    cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
    cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
    cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
    VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
    cheesedog: Why?
    VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
    cheesedog: What do you mean?
    VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
    cheesedog: Of course not.
    cheesedog: I like you.
    VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
    cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
    cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
    cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
    VictimX_27: WAIT!
    cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
    VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
    VictimX_27: Like what I like?
    cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
    VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
    VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
    VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
    cheesedog: ok
    VictimX_27: I'm back
    cheesedog: np
    VictimX_27: thank you
    cheesedog: So what do you like?
    VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
    cheesedog: Where?
    VictimX_27: Everywhere
    cheesedog: Any place in particular?
    VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
    cheesedog: tell me
    VictimX_27: on my clit
    cheesedog: OK!
    cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
    VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
    cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
    cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
    cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
    cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
    VictimX_27: Uh huh
    cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
    cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
    cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy
    VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
    cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind
    cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
    VictimX_27: yessss
    cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
    cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
    cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
    VictimX_27: ???
    cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
    cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
    VictimX_27: WHAT THE [darn] IS THIS [darn]!!!
    cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
    cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
    cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
    cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
    VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
    cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
    cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
    cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
    VictimX_27: YOU ARE A [darn] [darn]!
    cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE [darn] UP!
    cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
    cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
    VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
    cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
    VictimX_27: [darn] YOUUUU
    cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
    VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND [darn] YOUUUU!!!!!
    cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
    VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
    cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
    cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
    cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
    cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
    VictimX_27: [darn] YOU!!!!!!!!
    cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
    VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>


    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hey you?
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: im good
    el_effu_gone_wild: wuz up babe how u been
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: so good now
    el_effu_gone_wild: what u doing
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: chilling at home
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: and now im thinking about you
    el_effu_gone_wild: me too babe
    el_effu_gone_wild: what's up what u wanna do
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: ciber
    el_effu_gone_wild: are u wet?
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I don't know are you baby?
    el_effu_gone_wild: im soaking wet
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: what do you like?
    el_effu_gone_wild: big tasty pussies
    el_effu_gone_wild: u got one
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: oh yeah, me to
    el_effu_gone_wild: are u naked?
    el_effu_gone_wild: what are ur measurements
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: we are are making out on the couch
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: re you a dude?
    el_effu_gone_wild: yeah why?
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: god damn it so am i
    el_effu_gone_wild: forget it
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: thats ok we can still make this work. wear on the couch and I'm rubbing your tits
    el_effu_gone_wild: oh hell no
    el_effu_gone_wild: no way
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: come on,I was in prison. How about you?
    el_effu_gone_wild: never been there thank you
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: your welcome
    el_effu_gone_wild: ok
    el_effu_gone_wild: you can try
    el_effu_gone_wild: with
    el_effu_gone_wild: madamlibrarian21
    el_effu_gone_wild: that's a nick find her yourself
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I go down on your warm wet pussy
    el_effu_gone_wild: try also anamaria_maria2003 you might find her too
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: licking it
    el_effu_gone_wild: you aint going nowhere with me
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: then I turn you over and make you eat my ass. mmmmm that fills good babe your tits are big
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: Oh mmmm, just like that. I take you by the hips and do you fast lick a prison Guard
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hello
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: el_effu_gone_wild are you playing?
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: hi?
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: answer me bitch or i'll stab you on the block
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: I didn't mean that come back to bed
    juicy_fruity_x_lifesaver: that it fish , your going to be guided


    bloodninja: I lick your earlobe, and undo your watch.
    Sarah19fca: mmmm, okay.
    bloodninja: I take yo pants off, grunting like a troll.
    Sarah19fca: Yeah I like it rough.
    bloodninja: I smack you thick booty.
    Sarah19fca: Oh yeah, that feels good.
    bloodninja: Smack, Smack, yeeeaahhh.
    bloodninja: I make some toast and eat it off your ass. Land O' Lakes butter all in your crack. Mmmm.
    Sarah19fca: you like that?
    bloodninja: I peel some bananas.
    Sarah19fca: Oh, what are you gonna do with those?
    bloodninja: get me peanuts. Peanuts from the ballpark.
    Sarah19fca: Peanuts?
    bloodninja: Ken Griffey Jr. Yeaaaaahhh.
    Sarah19fca: What are you talking about?
    bloodninja: I'm spent, I jump down into the alley and smoke a fatty. I throw rocks at the cats.
    Sarah19fca: This is stupid.
    bloodninja: Stone Cold Steve Austin gives me some beer.
    bloodninja: Wanna Wrestle Stone Cold?
    bloodninja: Yeeaahhhh.
    Sarah19fca: /ignore
    bloodninja: Its cool stone cold she was a b*tch anyway.
    bloodninja: We get on harleys and ride into the sunset.


    bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
    DirtyKate: OK, but don't tell anybody ;-)
    DirtyKate: Who are you?
    bloodninja: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
    bloodninja: And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
    DirtyKate: You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
    bloodninja: Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
    DirtyKate: Haha! OK
    DirtyKate: Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
    bloodninja: Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
    DirtyKate: I want everything, baby!
    bloodninja: Is this a delivery?
    DirtyKate: Umm...Yes
    DirtyKate: So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
    bloodninja: Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
    DirtyKate: I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
    bloodninja: You can't hurry good pizza.
    bloodninja: I'm on my way now though
    DirtyKate: So you're at my front door now.
    bloodninja: How did you know?
    bloodninja: I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
    bloodninja: Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
    DirtyKate: Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
    bloodninja: So you're still in the bathroom?
    DirtyKate: Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
    bloodninja: I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
    DirtyKate: What the f**k?
    DirtyKate: You perverted piece of s**t
    DirtyKate: F**k


    Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?
    J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.
    Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"
    J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and sh*t. You know, rollin with tha homies and sh*t.
    Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?
    J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.
    Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?
    J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.
    Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".
    J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.
    Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?
    J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.
    Partner6: It likes that.
    J-Dogg: aight.
    Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...
    J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.
    Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.
    J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...
    Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.
    J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...
    Partner6: WTF?!
    J-Dogg: Oh sh*t, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!
    Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only f*ck women...
    J-Dogg: Sh*t just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!
    Partner6: You dipsh*t.
    J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...
    J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.
  12. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

    Dec 3, 2003
    Likes Received:
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    This guys a nerd :
    bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
    bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
  13. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

    Mar 6, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    Ummmmm, Okayyyyyyyy...
  14. BlazerGuy

    BlazerGuy 3/4 ton status

    Apr 20, 2000
    Likes Received:
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time

    Was it really necessary to post that? /forums/images/graemlins/doah.gif
  15. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

    Jan 9, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Gettysburg, SD
    Re: I haven\'t laughed this hard in a long time


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