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i know this doesn't belong here, but i can't post anywhere else

Discussion in 'The Garage' started by BIG*RED, Apr 15, 2005.

  1. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    i have been on here off and on for a while now, and i enjoy comming here and helping out when i can, and learning from you guys. i really hate to do this but i'm in a real bad place right now. i keep hurting myself, and i can't stop. i'm afraid of myself and that i will go to far. i don't want to call anyone to help me because i don't want to be the talk of this damn small town. but can somebody please just talk with me? you can reach me at yahoo messenger under the screen name scr8pngmc..thank you
     
  2. beastofablaze

    beastofablaze 1/2 ton status

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    Dude, you need to get you mind off sh$t... best way to handle sh$t is to worry about yourself and not what anybody else is doing. Might sound selfish but so is the world...

    what do you mean hurting yourself? slit your wrists?

    I've been there bro... but hurting yourself is some ****ed up ****... i've never been that far.

    whats eaten you?


    be your own man and find something worth living... the rest will come easy.
     
  3. sweetk30

    sweetk30 professional hooker Premium Member

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    its not the end of the world !

    i have been there before when the kids from my school days were realy mean. it sucks. stick up for your self and get help from someone that can. all you need to do is just ask for it . its there for the taking no questions asked.

    and then when you are better find the people that like you for you and hang with them only and find a good hobby and stick to it.

    i can say that most of my true friends are about 10 years and older than me. no real friends my age that i can relate to.

    all good things come to those who wait. its all good.:saweet: :waytogo:
     
  4. hunterguy86

    hunterguy86 1/2 ton status

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    hey pal i added u to my yahoo messenger. I'm usually always on so send me a message if u need to talk to someone.
     
  5. Thunder

    Thunder 3/4 ton status

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    Well..... so........ Whats the problem? I know this is the garage. But I have had some bud's pour out their problems in my garage and things have got aroud to getting solved. Matter of fact me & freinds have solved many important questions/problems of life in the garage. Some people aint into the IM crap.......... So air out your laundry.
    Might do ya good to get it off your chest.
    WTF...... Were are all family here..........
    Hmmmm reminds me of a song..............................

    Were a happy family
    Were a happy family
    Me mom and daddy .

    Im sure the mods will make an exception to help out a fellow in need.
     
  6. sweetk30

    sweetk30 professional hooker Premium Member

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    i second that. if he is a real trooper he needs are help.:D :cool1:
     
  7. darkshadow

    darkshadow 1 ton status

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    talk to craig brothers he could use a friend.

    we all get to a spot in life when it so hard to look up and so easy to look down, sometimes all we need is a hand to grasp and give us a tug.
     
  8. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    I just made this one sticky.

    Rene
     
  9. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    i just want to say thanks to the guys who talked to me. things have been really hard for me, i got a brain diease two years ago, and it started afecting me really bad the end of last year. was told by three doctors that i only had a few months to live. when i told my so called friends no one beleaved me. i found a doctor that wanted to try an expermintal procedure, and had that done in january. and even when i called from the hospital right before i went in, no one beleaved me. well as you can see, i got out of the hospital, and i'm slowly recovering, i can't work right now, and i live on disability. none of my so called friends talk to me anymore, i was living in my truck for a while, untill i finally started to get my disability check, then i recently moved into a place, and find out the place is being sold so i have to move..i don't have the money to move, it took all i had to get in here, and disability doesn't pay anything. then i got into a "who care mood" and pissed off some russians in sacramento and go the crap beat out of me. then i ended up in the hospital. then i hated myself for being so stupid, and burnt myself with cigerettes. and did other things. and i sit here totally alone, and out of the blue my ex calls me needing help, so i help her, and after i helped her, she said thanks..now don't ever talk to me again....stupid me....and the thing is i'm not hurting myself for attention, because when i'm out in public i hide all my scares and burns so noone knows. hmm..i don't know who did it, but someone found out where i live and called the cops becasue three of them just showed up here..but they left. it hard to be like this, i was alwasy the strong one, i was the one that people always came to for help, i was the one that defended everyone. i was the one that did everthing i could no matter what the cost to help someone. and now, i've got nothing, just a big empty void. i think thats why i helped my ex, even though i knew she was useing me, i did it anyways becasue it felt good that someone wanted my help again. but i don't know where i'm going to live, what i'm gonna do to make ends meet, i don't know where to go, or which way is up. i went from haveing everything i ever wanted, to getting a brain diease, to haveing absolutly nothing. in a matter of weeks. my phone used to ring off the hook, now it only rings when the medical collection agencies call. i don't guys, alot if the time i just think that it would be better if i wasn't here....so much for not wanting to be the talk of the town huh? one of the three cops that came by a few minutes ago used to be one of my "so called friends"..man i don't know, and of course there is more that i'm not telling but. i didn't do this to air my dirty laundry, just wanted someone to talk to, talk about anything really, just wanted to get my mind off of things..
     
  10. HELLBENT DESIGNS

    HELLBENT DESIGNS 1/2 ton status

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    sorry man! we all go through crap at different levels. some lose jobs, wives, children,parents,pets,their health, or self respect ,maybe self control. only god decides what might happen next! but i think you need to start caring about yourself for awhile. the more you talk about stuff the more you will get rid of some of the bad feelings. ck5 is a family, don't be afraid to talk :D
     
  11. y5mgisi

    y5mgisi 1 ton status

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    Man im usually just lurking on here hella bored, I'd jump at the chance to B.S. with somebody about trucks especialy chevys! Im pretty sure that anyone on here would. So when can you go back to work?
     
  12. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    hey guys, you have all be kind to me. y5mgisi...i would love to talk trucks with you, or talk about Oregon...i went to high school in Springfield. but right now things are not getting any better for me. i grabbed the first thing i could find this morning. a large screwdriver. and was all set to stab myself in the heart with it. then i broke down crying. i'm going to get dressed, make sure my cat has plenty of food and water. then i'm calling the police and turning myself in. i'm sorry guys.
     
  13. y5mgisi

    y5mgisi 1 ton status

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    Dont be sorry man. If you wind up bein on here again pm me it sounds like (from your profile) that you got a pretty sweet blazer. It would be cool to have like a "buddy" on here like on AIM So ya if your on again hit me up. What would happen to your truck if you werent around to keep it company?
     
  14. hi pinion

    hi pinion 3/4 ton status

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    I can say Sacramento especially sucks lol, the only thing that makes me feel better is big fat BURNOUTS!!!! :D let me know, im in sacramento, if you feel like chit, ill bring over the stang and we can mabey go squeal some tires!! :grin: Damn them russian mafia anyway, dumb bastages :D
     
  15. beastofablaze

    beastofablaze 1/2 ton status

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    Don't be sorry or say sorry... you got to look out for yourself and nobody else except your cat. I've had the "I don't give a sh$t" attitude in two different times in my life and i've learned one thing... you can take it to a good place or a bad place. You can either say nobody cares about me so why should i and stop living your life or you can say i don't give a sh$t about what other people are doing or saying and just be yourself. Do what you want to, say what you want to, and live you life how you want to.... its your life. try to remember the good times and how things used to be because if it was good one time it can be good again...

    Dude, just because your going through sh$t and thinking about ending it doesn't mean your weak... I gaurentee tons of people would have gotten depressed and killed themselves a long time ago. It takes a strong person to push through it all and not give up but unless you make the conscious decision to overcome you never will. You have a moral obligation, a duty to overcome. I know how you feel, your whole perspective has changed and you can't see the point of living... but one day you will wake up and go "this isn't that bad" and **** will just snowball from there.

    Just keep fighting bro...
     
  16. BIG*RED

    BIG*RED 1/2 ton status

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    well i am home again, thought i would give my new "family" an update...
    i called the police..three of them showed up, and took me over to the emerengcy room. and told me to sit and wait in the lobby and that a "crisis" worker will be there in no more than 15 minutes to help me. well i sat in that lobby/ waiting room for all most two hours and no one showed up, so i just got up and walked home. so now i'm sitting here not knowing what to think anymore. the cops showed up again a short while ago and asked what happened, and i told them that noone showed, and they said "thats to bad"..but if i looked them in the eye and told them i would not do anything stupid they would leave. so i did. so far so good i guess. i have had many thoughts go through my mind, but so far i have been able to keep myself from acting apon them. i think i will clean house for a little bit and take a shower, i don't know, trying to keep myself occupied and my mind off things the best i can..i still can't get the last conversation i had with my grandmother....."Grandma, i'm a wreck, i don't know what to do"....."well why don't you just kill yourself and get it over with, but be sure you kill your cat first, so that she won't starve to death'.......i thought grandmothers were susposed to be all loving and spoil the grandkids?...oh well what did i expect my whole family is a bunch of deralics..but still those words keep haunting me.
     
  17. beastofablaze

    beastofablaze 1/2 ton status

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    first thought that comes to mind is F*** her. you aren't living your life for her man... your grandma has got some problems.

    read my last post and try to phsyc yourself up and through all this ****... i don't want to come back and not get any response from you one day.
     
  18. y5mgisi

    y5mgisi 1 ton status

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    WEll its good to see your still around :laugh: Cleaninghouse i think is allways a good thing to do when your down. cause then when you walk into one of the rooms you just cleaned its nice to see it that way. You just got to do things and realize that you made an uncounches(sp?) desison to do it and that means that was you, doing somthing that you wanted to whether you know it or not. know what i mean? any who. I do want to hear about your truck and what youve done to it casue it does sound cool. Theres never been one time when i have told my truck somthing and it say somthing ****y back. I know my truck will allways be there for me. I tell it all the time about how bad other drivers piss me off and all it does is makes me happy by lettin me pass em :cool1: It dosnt say that my hair looks bad or how to think. Some times just sittin in the thing and imagining i was out in the middle of nowhere wheelin it makes me feel more better.
     
  19. hunterguy86

    hunterguy86 1/2 ton status

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    hey bro i just wanted to let you know i added you to my yahoo buddy list. my screen name is huntindude86 if you ever want to talk about anything i am usually always here. whatever it is just message me. If you ever wanna talk trucks, nascar or whatever just message me. This website is a great place, I feel like its a family here, no matter what is going on we are all here for one another. I'm sure you can talk to any one of us. we all care about one another. You are going through some hard times, that is understandable, we are all willing to help Just let us know if u need anything.
     
  20. sweetk30

    sweetk30 professional hooker Premium Member

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    hay buddy hope your doing better. and as for your family, like thay say ( you can pick your friends but not your relitives ) so with that said if you dont like them who said you half to talk to them.

    and we here at ck5 all like to be a big failmy and give praise and support to all are members. and if you feel down and out just post up and we will come running to help you get happy again.

    and life is a big circle . some times there is bad and good, the good will come back around to you again soon. and hopfully its lots of good.

    hay buy the way what is the name of your cat and what does the cat look like? i have a cat and she is yellow and her name is sassy . she has the persanality of a cactuse..

    well hope you have a great day and hope to here from you again.
     

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