Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

i trip out sometimes about being alive/human, anyone else ever have this happen ?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by R72K5, Aug 7, 2005.

  1. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL
    in the last few months(just out of the blue) now and then(somtimes as much as two or three times a week) i will trip out and get paranoid about being alive and being a person and about havnig to die some day

    its really scary and when it happens usually i feel like im about to go down/lose consciousness/have a circulatory problem or something else and i have to stop and walk around and try to shake it off, but its hard to, its no fun at all and scary as hell, but it only last for a `lil bit, like 5-10 minutes, it never happens during the day or anything, its always an after dark thing,

    i dunno what the deal is, and it always happens at night like at work when im workng on closing the fryer areas down and such, or it sometimes happens when i am laying down at night tryingg to fall asleep, :( it feels like my vision/perception of my surroundings changes on me and thats when it just BAM hits me, and i start feelnig all paranoid that im a human and why am i one and i cant believe i have all these senses and am functional and have to live and such


    maybe someone else has had his happen before or knows someone who has ?

    maybe it has something to do with me being pissed off that im still single and have nothing as far as family or anything like that, and never have, i think about that stuff alot and see others who have all that and i am always like "damn, i wish" or "damn, they are lucky" or whatever,.

    its just me against the world, on my own, have no family around either, never have, so i have no idea what all that is like either,

    what is family anyways ?


    ive never told anyone i know this, well except for two friends, and they have no idea, at all,



    i hope it doesnt happen more frequently in the future or get worse or that actally do lose consciousness or something

    ok im starting to shake/feel wierd right now(temperature change sensations), need to stop typing/thinking about it, hmm.


    thanks for anything,
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2005
  2. mr_clean

    mr_clean 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Sep 21, 2003
    Posts:
    348
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sacramento, CA
    Man, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence... Single people want to be married and married people want to be single.... at least with most of the men I know anyway.... and as soon as one changes sides they feel the other way...

    Don't worry about the stuff you can't control... Ask yourself if the troubles you are feeling will be a factor in your life in 10 years... If yes. then work on fixing them. If no, then don't stress over them.

    I felt the way you do when I was single, then got married and I know I have a good thing. I'm happy, but still there is a small part of me that remembers what it was like to be single...

    Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade what I have to go back because I know that I would just want to be married again.

    Does that make sense or did I just confuse things more?
     
  3. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL
    i dunno,


    i dont really believe that this happens just because i am always thinking about trying to meet someoen to be with and not be single anymore,

    although it never started happening til i really started trying to find someone, in the last few months,

    so i dunno ??


    maybe these are connected ?


    im my mind i think that it would be more trouble than its worth to find someone and be with someone and all that, but then i think its what i want now, after all of this life being single,

    i dont know if its really what i want,

    or what i really want,

    i just go to work and sleep and eat and mess with vehicles and get on puter, and thats it, thats ALL i do in life and all i have pretty much ever done in my adult life, and i repeat ir over and over again each day, virtually the same every single day



    so i have no idea,

    i dunno ??


    something is taking a toll on me, i have have no idea what,


    there is something i want, something im missing, i dunno what else it could be thatr could be causing these trip outs and such,

    im sure its no poisoning from rotted teeth in my gums, in which i need ot have out ASAP

    although i once heard that somehow rotting teeth can cause heat damage or something ?

    or its just a myth,

    i dunno,

    maybe it is why sometimes i have these wierd heart pains for a few seconds, or sometimes my arm veins shrink real small and wierd looking for a little while, lately,(normally they are always huge and bulging)


    hmm..


    thanks
     
  4. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL

    yeah it makes perfect sense and i totally agree,

    just like with everything else, it seems that ppl always want smomethng different than they have, its rare to find a person thats happy with current circumstances, be it maritual status, or vehicles they have, or emplyment, or what have you


    i really have no clue at all if i will even still be around in ten years let alone know if what my status is now would be fine with me at that time

    not any idea at all,

    i may never know,
    probably wont, with how its going/where its heading, i feel like im heading no where, in which used ot be my worst fear, that id end up living a podunk/redneck loner type of life and well here i am living it and i dont know how i can ever change it short of winning lottery or something
    nowadays i feel like im gonna have some crazy health problem and i worry about it sometimes and am scared of it randomly happening one day, and how i wont be able to cope with it and how its gonna suck so bad and why do i have to be alive and have to potentionally suffer something so bad, or anything really bad, i didnt ask to be here to have to go through whatever may happen but now i have no choice cuz here i am as a human being alive and everything,
    i worry, scared, etc,
    every little pain i feel in my body at any given time i think about and worry that its the sign of something bad going on,



    hmm..

    but anyways i wish i could figure out this trip out thing, its really starting to get scary, i hope it doesnt get worse, i dunno what to do or try,

    its like im just plain scared of being alive ?


    what do you think ?

    i bet i sound pretty insane to ya'll eh :eek1: :haha:
     
  5. beater_k20

    beater_k20 Banned

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2003
    Posts:
    10,276
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Elkhart, IN
  6. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Posts:
    17,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gettysburg, SD
    Take the stick out of the quiet desperation position, ram that ****er in to enlightened contentment, and hit the ****ing throttle

    We're all heading to the ultimate end, and time wasted worrying about the future ruins today

    Now go buy the complete 13 episode run of Haibane Renmei and ponder it's meaning
     
  7. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL
    what is Haibane Renmei
     
  8. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL
    nice response, how so very interesting and original

    screw off
     
  9. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2002
    Posts:
    17,372
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Gettysburg, SD
    A japanese anime

    One of Yo****oshi Abe's works

    Kind of a death/life/responsibility/loss work
     
  10. kennyw

    kennyw N9PHW Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2002
    Posts:
    13,223
    Likes Received:
    94
    Location:
    Stevens Pass Highway, WA
    It sounds like an anxiety attack and depression... I'm no expert, but there are a lot of ways to work thru it. What do you do for fun? I like turning wrenches too, but getting out and 4 wheeling, camping... etc. That is the part that keeps my world balanced.
     
  11. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2003
    Posts:
    17,537
    Likes Received:
    921
    Location:
    Massachussetts
    If you ARE nuts,then so am I...

    You dont sound "insane" to me!--if anything,reding YOUR posts is like reading MY thoughts!...I just turned 47,have never really dated any women,never "scored"(its not as easy as it looks on TV!)--had very few chances to even meet a member of the opposite sex...I long for someone to go to concerts with,care for me when I'm sick,or make me good meals too,or be waiting for me when I get home!!--but life doesn't always turn out like you planned.. :doah:

    Your often so busy working,you dont want to get involved in a relationship,(or have time to devote to one)-and many of the women here are phsyco's anyway!...I have learned to ENJOY being alone,since I am 99% of the time!..but I could change my was quickly if "Mrs.Right" comes along..I'm getting old,and I dont think I could handle taking care of a house,cooking,cleaning,AND work a full time job..its a lot of stress to handle all by yourself..
    I think one of the biggest reasons I am in the boat I am in here is because I never felt like working towards getting my own house,I figured why bother,if its only ME that will be living in it..if I had someone waiting there for me after work every day,you can bet I'd have been much more enthused about life,and working hard..

    I get chest pains,and body aches too--its just part of getting old--and your mind has a lot to do with the physical pain--my back often kills me after lifting or bending over,but it gets better after a day or two--but stress induced back pain can cripple you for weeks,and it pisses you off,because you cant pinpoint what you did to hurt it!--it wasnt what you DID--its what your BRAIN is doing to your body in response to stress!..

    I have a few bad teeth too,and I know they can damage your heart muscle,and lead to other infections if not treated promptly..yet I haven't done anything about them,because I dont have any money to get them pulled--I'm hoping our state health care plan I'm on will restore funding for dental and eyeglasses..I should have gotten them both before the governor decided to yank the benifits... :doah: if they start to really hurt,I'm going to have to do something!! :(

    You sound a lot like me--I'm a very negative person,and usually depressed-not my usual nature--life turned me that way...I've had a lot of bad experiences,like losing both of my life long best friends when they were only 36,from heart problems,and my plans to build my own shop and be self employed has backfired,them my dad dies,and my greedy mother sells off the lot of land he wanted me to have,now I'm faced with losing my shop,and a place to live when she dies.(which could be any day now)..I'm doubtful she will leave much to me after the many battles I've had with her...and I'm stuck here caring for her,her F'n slave--don't think your the only one whose life sucks!!..mine feels like a bad dream most of the time,except its for real!

    Thats why I go to concerts,listen to music I like,drink,do anything I can to keep my mind off depressing thoughts...its when you try to sleep that it all comes back to haunt you-and that funny pain in your side makes you wonder if its something serious..I know exactly how it feels...guess what?--it doesn't get any better as you age!--I think you need to act early if you want to get better...it just gets harder as you get older to make any changes to your life,once you settle into a rut...

    You might go get a check up,just to be sure you are not diabetic or have another underlying illness--you could have epilepsy,if you have periods of memory loss or if you "space out" a lot..but its likely anxiety--I have had panic attacks before in years past..it runs in our family unfortunately..its no picnic,and most people have little or no sympaythy for others with depression or anxiety...I've been tempted to send for that "Battling Depression and Anxiety" book from Lucinda Basset,the hot looking babe on late night TV infomercials!(but I think 1 night with her would be better therapy! :bow: :haha: )...

    Bottom line is life sucks,then you DIE!..I get afraid of dying sometimes too--but I have more friends on the "other side" than I do here it seems,and after some of the stuff I have survived,like testicular cancer,and the other things I told of--I cant wait to get to heaven sometimes...but I'm in no big hurry!..LIVING scares the crap out of me,like how am I going to survive,where will I live,how am I going to PAY for it?!-dying is easy! :crazy: Got to do what you can,WHILE you can!..brooding about it does nothing but make you MORE miserable!...none of us "own" our next breath!--so go LIVE your life,before its too late!....I just wish I'd taken my own advice 20 years ago,instead of letting myself get into this state I'm in now.. :doah: :crazy: :screwy:

    here is a verse of an old Hank Williams song....

    "I Ain't gonna worry wrinkles in my brow"
    "Cuz life ain't ever gonna be all right nohow"
    "No matter how I struugle and strive"
    "I'll never get out of this world alive"

    I hum that song every time things get a bit much to handle..it helps!... :crazy:
     
  12. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2000
    Posts:
    38,584
    Likes Received:
    266
    Location:
    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    Just get drunk and prepare for the big dirt nap...
     
  13. XHitman396

    XHitman396 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    May 3, 2002
    Posts:
    620
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Broken Arrow, Oklahoma
    wow, diesel, that's probably the most intense post i have ever read anywhere, and i thank you for it. ive been in sorta that mood for a day or so with some stuff going on lately, and i think that may help me quite a bit.. thank you...
     
  14. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL
    diesel! hell yeah ! thanks for your reply! very good! :thumb: :thumb:





    i agree with the mind regarding physical pains, that really makes sense yes, i have to agree, its just hard to realize/accept/remember



    yes life sucks then you d##, that sucks too, it all sucks, but.. i dont liek the d-word, i hate it, its saddening to me, too many incidents of such has happened around me, for way too long now, ill never forget one day a copuple years ago when a well known local towing and recovery guy told me that we all end up in the same box, well i just brushed it off and didnt think much about it at all at the time, and ill be damned if not too long after he said this to me he was gone! cancer.. and i had no idea and it happeend out of the blue of course, and i was going to his shop alot at the time visiting with him and such, messing with vehicles, watching him work on big diesels and such,. its sad.,. its crazy,, and now ill never forget the audio/visual memory that day when he told me that,,. its stuck for good, cant shake it.. im scared of life, or something like that, i dont know how else to say it, i have thoughts like damn what if i woke up in the damned box, omg.... :O
    thoughts like that,,
    its crap,.,.





    "I long for someone to go to concerts with,care for me when I'm sick,or make me good meals too,or be waiting for me when I get home!!--but life doesn't always turn out like you planned.. "

    right! totally agree!

    well im glad to know there are some folks that are living damn near if not exaclty the same way i have been

    its helps, alot, more than you may realize/know :D

    this lifes crazy

    thats just all there is to it, heh


    oh and kenny, well i dont do much of anything else cept work sleep eat, vehicles
    i dont associate VERY much at all with other ppl except for at work and such, and thats it, theres really nothing else to go and do out in cornfields region, so your life is really dull and nothingness unless you are busy with your own lifestyle, in which i always am, so much so that most days are nonstop crazy run run run busy busy

    but this is how i like my life to be, busy and crazy, im my own little world anyways, i have learned to not rely on others to help me accomplish things, as 99% of the time that never happens and all they want to do is use you somehow to get ahead in their own little world

    its just how it is, at least here i know, i dunno about the rest of the world ?

    you just have to be careful. its ppl that you dont know that seem to be the most opt to not rip you off or screw you over, and your neighbors and such almost always are the ones screwing you over somehow or another, so i just avoid recieving or giving help to them as much as i can, its just not worth the troubles, cuz its always something or other that goes wrong when you try,
    most of the time..


    the world has made us how we are

    for real.. yes.,.

    because of our personal experiences within it,
    our surroundings,.
    our life, our everything,

    thanks for your time and info :D :thumb:
     
  15. R72K5

    R72K5 Banned

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2001
    Posts:
    8,905
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    central IL
    on a side note id liek to learn about tooth rot infection bacteria damaging heart muscle

    i really need to learn what i can about this

    cuz im worried

    how possible it is, and such,,

    thanks
     
  16. 89GMCSuburban

    89GMCSuburban 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2001
    Posts:
    3,005
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Thornton, CO
    I get that too, but I use it to keep myself in check. Helps me do the things I want to do because I realize this is my only chance to do it
     
  17. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2003
    Posts:
    3,859
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    With My Tinfoil Hat
    If I can quote the book of Job.. " that which I fear the most, has come upon me."..

    We always move in the direction of our most dominant thoughts.. if you dwell on the negative " what ifs', it won't be long before they show up. It's a spiritual law, the law of sowing and reaping, that determines what you get out of life. Stop sowing fear and negativity. You will literally drive anyone you meet away from you, and slowly kill yourself from the inside out.

    Happiness is a decision you make, not something that happens to you. Find SOMETHING, no matter how small, to be positive about, and dwell on that. you'll live longer. Build on that one thing, and your life will change.

    Will these thoughts come back to you? yep.. but as my pastor says, " Just because the birds fly over your head, you don't have to allow them to nest in your hair".

    What that means is because you are a created being with free will, you choose your reactions to things, even when you think you can't. Life is hard enough, and it's worse when you won't get out of your own way.


    Tom
     
  18. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2004
    Posts:
    8,224
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Colorado
    :haha: Frackin Fumes, I can always count on you to make me spit water all over the computer screen.

    There's nothing you can do about dying. The more you think about it the quicker it will come to visit. Just put it out of your mind and find something else to focus on. Your gonna be fine.

    Don't fear the reaper - plan on how you'll ambush him when he shows up. :D

    Most likely 50 years from now you'll blow a gasket on your old lady and go with a smile. Then you'll wonder why you spent 50 years worrying about it.
     
  19. mikey_d05

    mikey_d05 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Joined:
    Nov 23, 2004
    Posts:
    10,453
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    I'm too tired to read all of the posts but yes, I do experience the same things you indicated in the first post sometimes, and I'm only 18.

    I know this is mainly about families but I believe the same episodes apply to a lot more than just that...

    I recently had a friend pass away, her death preventable, at this age, that'll make you tweak. For a good week I was in a state of constant shock, getting drunk every night trying to forget, waking up in cold sweats, nasty **** like that. Being reminded of your own mortality in such a way is the quickest path to a breakdown I can think of. I still haven't gotten over it but I realized that **** happens. If you spend every waking moment worrying about the end of your life, you'll never enjoy it in the first place.

    All in all, the one quote I try to remember: (I dont' know where it came from)

    "Life isn't worth living if you can't feel alive."

    Every waking moment spent worrying about the end is a moment that could have been spent on something more useful.

    Awww...what the hell do I know, this is the a/d's talking anyways. :haha: Live it up, do what you love and don't let ANYTHING stand in your way.
     
  20. diesel4me

    diesel4me 1 ton status Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2003
    Posts:
    17,537
    Likes Received:
    921
    Location:
    Massachussetts
    Read the instruction manual....

    I see a preacher on TV once in a while,he was on late last night--I think his name is "Joel" something,from a texas based church...I usually never listen to or watch any religeous TV programs,but that guy has made me stop and listen more than once...last night,his "sermon" was about this very subject!--how often we get depressed,and its not how God wants us to live,and how it will kill us quicker than anything else--when your "spirit" dies before your body does,and you live in a shell of your former self...not Gods wil!

    I wish I could have taped it,and sent a copy to R72K5!..it sounded like the answers to a lot of his (and my) questions about WHY we allow ourselves to be miserable,when we live in the best country,have more oppertunities than anyone else,the best food,etc---yet we prefer to wallow in our self-pity and never do what God says--Eat,Drink,and BE MERRY"!!..GOD will take care of everything else!..

    Thats what I tried to do--I started my own "bussiness" at the garage I built,but things around here changed drastically,and I soon found myself low on cash,and with no customers,even the "big" lawnmower repair shop I got my parts from went out of bussiness!...but I feel God wanted that to happen,he must have his reasons...who am I to question him??---

    He must want me to see what destituite and downtrodden REALLY means,so when he does shine his light on me,I wont take it for granted!....but I wish it would happen soon,things seem to keep getting worse,not better...

    As a for instance,I just got an E-mail from Kathy Mattea's fan club president--Kathy's ailing mother just passed away this morning...another person I love suffers a heartbreak!...but its part of life I guess,and nothing I can do about it,except pray for her and her family..... :(

    I guess I'm going to have to party more,since that's what God wants us to do!--but its hard to be festive and upbeat sometimes,with all the bad news I've been getting about people I care about lately... :crazy:

    I'm glad some of you felt I helped by posting my personal troubles..but I'm no preacher....I too am a bit "lost" and "jaded" by the way my life has turned out--but I'm starting to realize I had a lot of good chances,which I wasted by not having enough faith to jump on them....I hope its not always going to be this way... :crazy:
     

Share This Page