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Idiot's Are US

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Donna, Feb 5, 2003.

  1. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

    Feb 20, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Idiot\'s Are US

    I thought these were kinda funny. ENJOY!!!!!

    > > Idiot # 1
    > >
    > >I am a medical student currently doing a rotation
    > >in toxicology
    > >at the poison control center. Today, this woman
    > >called in very upset because
    > >she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
    > >quickly reassured her that the
    > >ants are not harmful and there would be no need to
    > >bring her daughter into
    > >the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of
    > >the conversation happened to
    > >mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison
    > >to eat in order to kill
    > >the ants.
    > >I told her that she better bring her daughter into
    > >the emergency room right away.
    > >Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
    > >
    > >Idiot # 2
    > >
    > >Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on
    > >the airfield decided to steal a
    > >life raft from one of the 747s. They were
    > >successful in getting it out of the plane
    > >and home. When they took it for a float on the
    > >river, a Coast Guard helicopter
    > >coming towards them surprised them. It turned out
    > >that the chopper was
    > >homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
    > >activated when the raft was inflated.
    > >They are no longer employed at Boeing. Here's your
    > >sign, guys. Don't get it wet;
    > >the paint might run.
    > >
    > >Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco:
    > >
    > >A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America,
    > >walked into the branch
    > >And wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in
    > >this bag." While standing in
    > >line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he
    > >began to worry that someone had
    > >seen him write the note and might call the police
    > >before he reached the teller's
    > >window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
    > >the street to Wells Fargo.
    > >After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his
    > >note to the Wells Fargo teller.
    > >She read it and, surmising from his spelling
    > >errors that he wasn't the brightest
    > >light in the harbor, told him that she could not
    > >accept his stickup note because
    > >it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip
    > >and that he would either have
    > >to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back
    > >to Bank of America.
    > >Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
    > >left. He was arrested a
    > >few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
    > >at Bank of America.
    > >Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably
    > >couldn't read it anyway.
    > >
    > >Idiot # 4
    > >
    > >A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated
    > >speed trap that measured
    > >his speed using radar and photographed his car. He
    > >later received in the mail
    > >a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead
    > >of payment, he sent the police
    > >department a photograph of $40. Several days
    > >later, he received a letter from
    > >the police that contained another picture, this
    > >time of handcuffs.
    > >He immediately mailed in his $40. Another sign
    > >(though this guy might be
    > >onto something worth thinking about)!
    > >
    > >Idiot # 5
    > >
    > >Guy walked into a little corner store with a
    > >shotgun and demanded all of
    > >the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier
    > >put the cash in a bag,
    > >the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted
    > >behind the counter
    > >on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in
    > >the bag as well, but the
    > >cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe
    > >you are over 21."
    > >The robber said he was, but the clerk still
    > >refused to give it to him
    > >because he didn't believe him. At this point, the
    > >robber took his
    > >driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to
    > >the clerk. The clerk
    > >looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact
    > >over 21 and he
    > >put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran
    > >from the store with
    > >his loot. The cashier promptly called the police
    > >and gave the name
    > >and address of the robber that he got off the
    > >license. They arrested
    > >the robber two hours later. Remind me to have
    > >more signs printed
    > >up. Give this guy his!
    > >
    > >Idiot # 6
    > >
    > >A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop
    > >nervously waving
    > >revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!"
    > >When his partner
    > >moved, the startled first bandit shot him. This
    > >guy doesn't need a
    > >sign, he probably figured it out himself.
    > >
    > >Idiot # 7
    > >
    > >Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty
    > >badly. He decided
    > >that he'd just throw a cinder block through a
    > >liquor store window,
    > >grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder
    > >block and heaved it
    > >over his head at the window. The cinder block
    > >bounced back and hit
    > >the would-be thief on the head, knocking him
    > >unconscious. Seems
    > >the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass.
    > >The whole event
    > >was caught on videotape. Oh, that smarts. Give
    > >him his sign
    > >
    > >Idiot # 8
    > >
    > >Ann Arbor: The Ann Arbor News crime column
    > >reported that a man
    > >walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan
    > >at 12:50 A. M.,
    > >flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned
    > >him down
    > >because he said he couldn't open the cash register
    > >without a
    > >food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the
    > >clerk said
    > >they weren't available for breakfast. The man,
    > >frustrated,
    > >walked away.
    > >
    > >Please note that all of the above people are
    > >allowed to vote
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Nov 6, 2000
    Likes Received:
    portland oregon
    Re: Idiot\'s Are US

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  3. backyardbuilt

    backyardbuilt 1/2 ton status

    May 28, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Olathe, Kansas
    Re: Idiot\'s Are US

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  4. 83ZZ502_Jimmy

    83ZZ502_Jimmy 1/2 ton status

    Feb 7, 2001
    Likes Received:
    Richmond, VA
    Re: Idiot\'s Are US

  5. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

    Apr 15, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Pocatello, ID
    Re: Idiot\'s Are US

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