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If dogs wrote letters to God

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Dec 6, 2003.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Location:
    portland oregon
    Dear God,
    Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom,
    if ever, smell one another?

    Dear God,
    When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
    Or is it the same old story?

    Dear God,
    Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
    the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
    but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see
    a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride!
    Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle'
    the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

    Dear God,
    If a dog barks his head off in the forest
    and no human hears him,is he still a bad dog?

    Dear God,
    We dogs can understand human verbal
    instructions, hand signals, whistles,
    horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
    electromagnetic energy fields, and
    Frisbee flight paths.
    What do humans understand?



    Dear God,
    More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.



    Dear God,
    When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have
    to shake hands to get in?


    Dear God,
    Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are,
    will I have to apologize?



    Dear God,
    Please help me to always remember what it takes to be a good dog:

    - I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or
    after they throw it up.

    - I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.,
    just because I like the way they smell.

    - I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box;
    although they are tasty, they are not food.

    - The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

    - The sofa is not a face towel; neither
    are Mom and Dad's laps.

    - The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    - My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    - I will not bite the officer's hand when he
    reaches in for Mom's driver's license
    and registration.

    - I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear
    when he's on the toilet.

    - Sticking my nose into someone's crotch
    is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'

    - I do not need to suddenly stand straight up
    when I'm lying under the coffee table.

    - I must shake the rainwater out of my fur
    before entering the house.

    - I will not throw up in the car.

    - I will not come in from outside and immediately
    drag my butt across the carpet.

    - The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him
    and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing
     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. SlyDog

    SlyDog 1/2 ton status

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  4. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Excellent!! I'm cryin'!!

    [ QUOTE ]
    - I will not come in from outside and immediately
    drag my butt across the carpet.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Our puppy did this every now and then when we first got her, so I almost fell off the chair when I read that... /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. mudjunkie 82

    mudjunkie 82 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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    Cleveland Ohio
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. Zeus33rd

    Zeus33rd Smarter than you GMOTM Winner

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    Location:
    Grass Valley, CA
    [ QUOTE ]
    - I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box;
    although they are tasty, they are not food.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    HAHAHA! LMAO! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  7. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    California, The Blow Me State
    [ QUOTE ]
    The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.


    [/ QUOTE ]

    We have 4 dogs here that drive the trash guys nuts every week. /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  8. MEPR

    MEPR 1/2 ton status

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    in my 18 years we have never been whith out a familly dog, and i have experienced EVERY single one of the things in the last letter /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     

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