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If you do anything this valentines day think of this mans story...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by K5er4Life, Feb 14, 2007.

  1. K5er4Life

    K5er4Life 1/2 ton status

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    This is a post from another site that I frequent. Its a very sad story and makes you stop and think how precious life is, and that sometimes you may take it for granted. So if you do anything this valentines day dont take for granted the ones closest to you, especially your significant other.

    Hello everyone. As I am not new to the riding world. I am new to this. A friend of mine told me to check it out and well here I am. I have been reading the threads it has inspired me to pass a little friendly advise on. I was married to a wonderful woman for a little or 10 years. She was everything I ever wanted. I remember the first day I met her. she changed my life. As the years went our relationship changed but not my love for her. I would go to the car races without her and basically didnt care if she liked it our not. Then I started riding and that meant more time for me and less time for her. We really didnt talk to much. Well she talked..and I really never listened. She would get mad and I would treat her pretty bad actually. Well last year on Valentines Day's she left the house to go to work she said goodbye and I didnt even acknowledge her. She kept calling me telling me that I dont care that I dont love her and then the phone went dead. I thought to myself wow I guess I should have got her a stupid flower to shut her up. Well about 2 hours later the door bell rang and when I opened the door there were 2 state troopers standing at the door holding a purse and a bag. The proceeded to tell me Sir we are so sorry to tell you that your wife was involved in a accident on the highway. She was hit head by a big hauler and was killed instantly. They handed me my wifes purse and the bag. Words cannot describe the sudden emptiness the grief that to this day has not gone away. I opened the little bag and pulled out a envelope it was to me. It was a Valentine's Day Card. She wrote a simple little note that said All I ever wanted was for your to love me as much as I love you. Happy Valentines Day. So a year later I still feel the emptiness and grief. Now this Valentines Day I wont forget. I will be giving my wife a big bouquet of roses and a Valentines Day card that I wrote in it that says I love you more than you will ever know. ** I just wish I could be handing it to instead of laying it on her gravesite. So all of your spouses, boyfriends girlfriendS or significant others. Dont let something so tragic happen before you realize what you have. Tell them you love them everyday no matter what. Hold them in your arms and tell them how much they mean to you. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY SWEET WIFE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART..I LOVE YOU MY DARLING...
     
  2. fordeater

    fordeater 1/2 ton status Premium Member

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  3. CDA 455

    CDA 455 3/4 ton status

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    Wow, pretty sad.






    Just wish it was broken up into paragraphs...:whistle:
     
  4. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    wait... there are people who don't tell their wives they love them every day? I do... :dunno:

    guy sounds like a real POS.

    j
     
  5. K5er4Life

    K5er4Life 1/2 ton status

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    Well now, lets not be too hard to judge the guy. I think he now regrets something he never realized he was doing. Not to be malicious or devious to his wife, but got a little too comfortable with her being. And thats why I posted this so others can learn from the mistake he made. I dont think hes a pos, but I do believe he wont make the same mistake again.
     
  6. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    thats one way to look at it I guess..... based on what I read, the guy only really seems to feel guilty about anything because she died. Sorta like a criminal or politician who only says they feel guilty because they got caught.

    seriously, what about this part?



    thats just ****ed up... and very 'POS worthy' imo...

    j
     
  7. CDA 455

    CDA 455 3/4 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:


    Kind of like a cheap paint job :D :rolleyes: ?!
     
  8. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    So if he said goodbye to her,and I love you she would still be alive?
     
  9. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    no, she'd be dead as a doornail... but he wouldn't be a POS...

    of course, considering how he treated her, her death may have been a suicide.

    j
     
  10. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    I don't feel sorry for him..
     
  11. sandawgk5

    sandawgk5 3/4 ton status

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    Just goes to show that you dont know what you have until it aint there anymore:o .

    Ira
     
  12. chevyin

    chevyin 1/2 ton status

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    Maybe, as you get older, you will come to realize everyone makes mistakes in life, everyone takes a good thing in life for granted, sometimes.

    I really dont understand what you get out of trying to down this guy.
     
  13. TSGB

    TSGB 1 ton status

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    Me either. I treated my ex-girlfriend like dirt, and it took me some time to realize it. We talked about it, and split. I would hope that in the year and a half since then that I've been single, I've figured some of it out.

    The small things are the big things.
     
  14. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    mistakes? The guy's wife says "I'm off to work honey, love you!" and his response is silence. That isn't a mistake, its a very intentional "whatever wench, why are you still here?!?!?!".

    Just pointing out the facts, it doesn't do anything for me either way. I'm just not the type to forgive/forget someone's actions or just write it off as a "mistake". Everything you do (or don't do) is your fault. Some people take responsibility for their actions, others shirk it. Based on everything I have read, this guy is tore up for one reason... and one reason only: because he got 'caught'.

    j
     
  15. chevyin

    chevyin 1/2 ton status

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    He got caught? His wife died, he owned up to his mistakes, he feels bad, end of story. There's no getting caught involved there. The only reason we can even has this conversation is because HE wrote this story. No, he didn't get 'caught'.

    Its easy for a bystander to say something wasn't a mistake. But guess what, it wasn't your move, it was his, and he's sorry for it. That, by definition, makes it a mistake.

    he could have easily told himself 'Im better off without her anyway', as his previous actions had implied. But he didn't, he manned up to his mistakes. I guess your definitin of shirking that responsibility, and mine, are very different.

    For this one guy who wrote this one story, there's probably 100 other guys who have written off a good situation/relationship and never looked back. If you want to point fingers at someone, try one of those guys. At least this guy realizes where he went wrong, and feels bad for it. Until the day you can prove you've taken 100% responsibility for every bad decision you've ever made, without using the idea it was somehow a mistake, I'll continue with my opinion that everyone makes them, and everyone deserves a second chance given the right attitude.
     
  16. K5er4Life

    K5er4Life 1/2 ton status

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    Its not that he didnt love her, its that he did not express it to her as much as he should have. I kind of understand where the guy is coming from. I dated a girl for almost 5 years. After she broke up with me I realized that I became a little too comfortable with her being and probably didnt give her all the attention she deserved. Did that mean that I cared about her any less, absolutely not! However, I became lax with our situation and I took her love granted. I have since learned quite a bit about my past relationship with her and luckily I didnt have to go through something like what he did before I realized it. The whole reason for posting was simply to help open someones eyes up who may be in the same or similar situation. Dont take your situation, be it your husband, wife, kids, or otherwise for granted. Because if you do it might be too late to tell that person how much you love them.

    Come now mister jekster, nobody is perfect, we all are human and make mistakes. Some mistakes are bigger than others but the fact that we acknowledge them and pledge to not do them again is what is important. Its possible hes is so hurt he feels guilty and thinks to himself that things would be different if he would have said more. Its the typical guilt complex associated with a loved ones death, though theres nothing you can do about it you still feel guilty and wish you would have changed things. I can even relate this to my dad, theres things we just dont talk about and our "feelings" is absolutely one of them. If he dissapeared tommorrow I will certainly feel remorse in things that I wanted to say to him. Even though I know theres unspoken feelings. In fact as a result in reading his story I have taken it upon myself to find some alone time with my dad so we can talk things over a beer.
     
  17. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Each and every day, I make a point of telling Kim and my daughters that I love them.

    I agree with Jek to a certain degree, but I also agree that everyone makes mistakes. I also feel pretty strongly about hammering on someone after the fact for mistakes they have made. I know that when I screw up, the last thing I want to hear is someone giving me **** about it. Heck, I generally feel bad enough about the situation already, and I don't need someone adding to that, unless of course they themselves are perfect.....:whistle:

    Most of life's important lessons are learned the hard way. Let's hope that this guy realizes how poorly he treated his wife, and takes steps to improve his future relationships......
     
  18. Capman2k

    Capman2k 3/4 ton status

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    Oh, hello there, Canman... How was your break?:doah:
     
  19. jekbrown

    jekbrown I am CK5 Premium Member GMOTM Winner Author

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    I think its way to easy for some people to just say "well, everyone makes mistakes!" as a way of writing off practically any behavior pattern. That just doesn't fly for me. I'm not a Christian, "forgiveness" isn't my thing. When I said he "got caught", what I meant is, if she hadn't got in a wreck at all, all signs suggest that he would have gone right on treating his wife like crap and not giving it a second thought. He only feels bad about the situation because something bad happened. I'm not being any more judgemental about the situation than the guy who wrote that story... the only difference is, I'm not at fault and didn't make some kind of "mistake".

    I'm not neive... I know full well people make 'mistakes' all the time... I'm just not as willing to let people off the hook and completely throw responsibility out the window as some other people are I guess. That's fine, people are entitled to their opinion. I know for a fact though, that if my wife got in a fatal accident, she would die knowing that I love her more than anything in this world.... as opposed to wondering if I ever loved her at all. At my wedding I made a vow... I take vows seriously. I'd rather be dead than to dishonor myself by breaking them. That is just how I am. Other people don't really give a **** about vows, or anything else they say/do. These people tend to have a negative affect on society in general, and those close to them in particular. While its true that anyone can make a mistake, its equally true than anyone can chose to do the right thing. I'd rather take that road.. but like I said, that's just me.

    j
     
  20. littlejimmythatcould

    littlejimmythatcould 1/2 ton status

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    The roads are icy tonite, I hope my wife gets home ok. I am at work, but I think I will call her to see if she's ok, even if it wakes her up. That story really got me thinking about stuff.
     

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