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Is it wrong for me?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Confedneck79K30, Mar 16, 2007.

  1. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    To be so utterly disgusted with and pissed off at someone, that I want nothing to do with them?

    In short... it's my wife's birthday tomorrow, and her sister and her husband wanted to take us out to dinner tonight... these are the same people that 6 months ago called leaving derogatory messages on my answering machine, 5 minutes after I left their house, too chicken **** to say it to my face...

    Now my wife has mended things with her sister, and thinks I should give in too... she says "you dont even have to talk to them"... fat chance of me not busting his face and calling his wife every word she is...

    is it wrong for me to harbor such anger and disgust for someone? or am I normally dysfunctional? thanks for caring, or not! :confused:
     
  2. 76zimmer

    76zimmer Flyin Rat Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Not sure what the original dispute was but, unless it was personally attacking you, I would try to support your wife here, its her family and if she's mended the bad blood, then let it be. Life is sh*!!y with bad family issues. Let me add that if this has been truely mended this is the path I would take to forgive. If its just superficial, it will probably come back up at some point.
     
  3. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    interesting, we shall see.. im not a forgive and forget kinda guy... we'll see
     
  4. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Go to dinner and keep your mouth shut. Then get ask the Bro in law to go some where with you later on like you need his help or something. Then say look motherfocker if it weren't for you being married to my wife's sister I'd do the old head stomp on your ass right about now you worthless POS. That's just for starters.
    I'm lucky only one of my wife's sisters is married and he's only like 20-21 and he's some pacifist church boy. So if I said boo he would probably pee on himself............
     
  5. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    dammit Zim,just when i was gonna go off you calm it down.....so i thunked about the shiat I have heard. and yes,it's better to let them screw up.:rolleyes: :haha:
     
  6. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    but i like Corey's idea.and i'm like you, i never forget. and forgive comes if you REALLY make it up to me.:deal:
     
  7. 76zimmer

    76zimmer Flyin Rat Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    I'm not saying I would forget, thats how you learn about things, people etc. And to forgive is a hard thing to do. Like I said, I would try to be sure they were sincere in their mending, if not, it will probably come up again. I do however believe in giving things a 2nd chance.
     
  8. bandit4369

    bandit4369 Registered Member

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    The key word here is it's your wifes birthday, It's her day not yours. Out of respect for her and her wishes, bite your tongue, go and be sociable. Don't ruin her birthday, You WILL live to regret it if you do--- trust me.
     
  9. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    good call. asses can be kicked later.:wink1:
     
  10. 76zimmer

    76zimmer Flyin Rat Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Daryl, you looking for a fight,,,knock it off..:haha: :haha:
     
  11. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    no hard and fast answer, as I don't recall if you ever told us about the first fight that started all this..

    was the original fight between the sisters? if they mended it, then you have to go along with things to see if it really is mended..for the greater good, mr. ego needs to be checked at the door... this way, if her hubby decides to get in your face about anything, your conscience will be clear when you choke him out..

    was the fight a one time thing, or was it one of many? if it's one of many, and you keep getting crapped on when you try to let bygones be bygones, then a grudge ( or at least wariness ) is appropriate.

    if your wife's sister is a longtime psycho family manipulator control freak attention getter, then not only is a grudge appropriate, you should make it policy to not have any further contact, if your wife's big heart keeps letting sis get close enough to do damage.. some people are too nice for their own good, and you'll have to be the hard ass for the good of your family..

    We have had lots of drama in my family.. I've forgiven when appropriate, and cut ties when neccessary.. I've found that with some family, the further away they are, the more I'm able to love them..

    Oh.. and tell your wife we said happy birthday..
     
  12. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    i talked to SKKY about that a few ago.everyone deserves a 2nd chance.(he was shoveling snow while we talked on the phone) and i think it depends on what happened when it comes to family.you should give fam a better chance,BUT to leave it on an answering machine ??
     
  13. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    no Dave.just been there.lucky for them kids were around.if someone does not like me fine... but have the guts to pull me aside and say so.my fam does that.we let ya know.:D :D
     
  14. boggerless

    boggerless 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Tom,you always hit it..:bow: HAPPY BRIFDAY!!i see a little (i've been there) in your reply.:laugh:
     
  15. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    yep.. been there, done that, and gotten crapped on when I gave folks more chances than they deserved.. on the other hand, I've earned my share of hatred directed at me because I overkilled on a family member when they did something ( bruised my ego ) that offended me.. it all evens out I guess..

    Took me a while to learn that we judge ourselves by our intentions, while we judge others by their actions, so I try hard to understand what is driving the other people to do what they do.. this way, I can try to respond the right way..
     
  16. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    exactly, except her sister is (read everything you typed below, and bipolar).. and if it aint her way, it's no way... the original fight between them started, when my wife was planning her own baby shower because her sister is worthless, and asked her sister NOT to bring her one year old, and her sister flipped, told her she didnt condsider my wife a sister, she was a pos and this and that, so when i went by to get my video camera, her husband was nice as could be, then called my house while i was on my way home and left a message calling my wife a whore, slut, etc.....
    every 6 months, at least, it's wearing on me and getting really rediculous, i told my wife this time, dont cry to me about it the next time, i dont give a shiat...

    ive had as much as i can handle from these chicken shiat pieces of garbage...

    her sister tried dragging ME into their little bs fight by telling their grandma that i left a nasty message on their machine, but she had conveniently deleted it when they came over to listen to it, and he grandparents know better, i'm a generally polite person, and have respect for everyone until they show me that they dont deserve it... that was the last straw for me, and if i catch that moron out in public, i will give him a piece of my mind..


    all of a sudden these 2 people, who are a: bipolar, manic depressive, post partum-depressed, rude, inconsiderate, ignorant and stupid, and b: an acquitted, but definately guilty felon, and all of the above as well...

    are church going methodists and apparently have changed their ways, substantially, i dont believe it, they're scum and that's all their is to it..


    thanks for reading my bs
     
  17. 4by4bygod

    4by4bygod 1/2 ton status

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    Not a problem.. ( reading your bs, I mean ).. Wow..can I assume that they were nuts before the baby shower incident?

    regardless, some functions aren't for kids, and they should have respected your wishes..

    knowing all of the background, I'd keep my guard up.. do the dinner thing, and see if they've really figured anything out.. if the religion thing is just a veneer, you'll know..

    have some fun with it.. be sure to tell them about some success you've recently had... if they end up falling into old patterns ( jealousy, cutting you down, subtle put downs, back handed compliments ), there's your answer.. conversely, try confiding in them about something you are going through.. see if they become human, and actually say something supportive.. if they pile on the dog, and try to make you feel worse, there you go as well.

    you COULD always bring up the feud, and get everything out in the open..they're the professing christians, let's see how much they paid attention durng the forgiveness sermons.. put the burden on them while you enjoy your food..
     
  18. 54inches

    54inches 1/2 ton status

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    So what happened?
     
  19. Confedneck79K30

    Confedneck79K30 3/4 ton status

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    constant bs and arguments between my wife and her sis, generally over some insane thing her half demented sister has done or said to someone, usually my wife... i told my wife i wasnt going to dinner with them last night, and that was the end of it.. they want to have us over for cake and crap for her birthday today, but we're going to my moms for that, so again i said no... id just like to catch her brother in law in a dark alley and teach him to keep his mouth shut.. they know where i stand and what i think about the situation and they keep trying to push the issue with my wife, and she pushes it with me, and i personally think that it's a farce... but we'll see...
     
  20. 76zimmer

    76zimmer Flyin Rat Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    There ya go. well said...
     

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