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J j j jokes

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Z3PR, May 27, 2002.

  1. Z3PR

    Z3PR Banned

    Mar 30, 2002
    Likes Received:
    Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to
    hire a private investigator - Alan Pinkerton - for protection.
    And that was the beginning of the Secret Service.

    Since that time, federal police authority has grown to a large number
    of multi-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA, BATF, etc.

    Now we have the "Federal Air Transportation Airport Security Service." Can't you see them now, these highly trained men
    and women
    in their black outfits with their initials in large white
    letters across their backs:

    The other day Kris and I went in to Las Margarita's for dinner. Out of curiosity, I asked her
    if she thought there where any Jew's in Mexico? She thought there might be but wasn't really
    sure. So when the waiter came by I asked him the question, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"

    He said, "I don't know sir, let me ask in back," and he went into the kitchen. He returned in
    a few minutes and said, "No, sir. No Mexican Jews."

    "Are you sure?" I asked

    "I will check again, sir," the waiter replied, and went back to the kitchen.

    While he was still gone, I told Kris again, "I cannot believe there are no Jews in Mexico.
    That race of people are scattered everywhere."

    When the waiter returned he said, "Sir, no Mexican Jews."

    "Your sure?" I asked again." It's hard for me to believe there are no Mexican Jews." I told

    "Sir, I ask everyone," the waiter replied exasperated.

    "We have orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews and grape Jews, but no one ever hear of Mexican

    A man was brought to Mercy Hospital, and went in for
    coronary surgery. The operation went well, and as the
    groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by
    a Sister of Mercy waiting by his bed.

    "Mr. Smith, you're going to be just fine," the nun said while patting his hand. "We do have to
    know, however, how you intend
    to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?"

    "No, I'm not," the man whispered hoarsely.

    "Can you pay in cash?"

    "I'm afraid I can't, Sister."

    "Do you have any close relatives, then?"

    "Just my sister in New Mexico," replied, "but she's a spinster nun."

    "Nuns are not spinsters, Mr. Smith," the nun replied. "They
    are married to God."

    "Well," the man said with a smile, "then send the bill to my


    There was a young woman who lived with her grandmother. One night
    the granddaughter came bouncing down the stairs dressed to go out to
    a party wearing a see through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother
    told her to go back up stairs and dress decently.

    The young woman said, "No, I want to show off my rosebuds."
    And off she went out the door.

    The next day the granddaughter came outside to find her grandmother on
    the porch wearing the see through blouse without a bra.

    "Grandmother! What are you doing? My boyfriend and a couple of other
    friends are coming over any time now." She cried, "Please go change
    your blouse! I'm so embarrassed!"

    The older woman replied, "Well if you can show off your rosebuds than I
    can show off my hanging baskets!"
  2. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

    Jan 12, 2001
    Likes Received:
    /forums/images/icons/laugh.gif LMAO!!! All are good ones! /forums/images/icons/wink.gif

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