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job searching??? read this first lol

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MudNurI, Apr 7, 2002.

  1. MudNurI

    MudNurI 1/2 ton status

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    20 Common Want-Ad Phrases and What They Really Mean

    ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION: You'll be making under $7 an hour.

    ENTRY-LEVEL POSITION IN AN UP-AND-COMING COMPANY: You'll be making under $7 an hour; we'll be bankrupt in a year.

    COMPETITIVE SALARY: We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.

    JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY: We have no time to train you; you'll have to introduce yourself to your coworkers.

    IMMEDIATE OPENING: The person who used to have this job gave notice a month ago. We're just now running the ad.

    WE OFFER GREAT BENEFITS: After 90 days, you can join our HMO, which has a $500 deductible and a $25 co-pay.

    SEEKING ENTHUSIASTIC, FUN, HARD WORKING, PEOPLE:...who still live with their parents and won't mind our internship-level salaries.

    CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.

    COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT: We have a lot of turnover.

    MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED: You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.

    SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend.

    FLEXIBLE HOURS: Work 40 hours; get paid for 25.

    WHERE EMPLOYEES FEEL VALUED: Those who missed the last round of layoffs, that is.

    NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE: We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.

    SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You'll need it to replace three people who just left.

    PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.

    REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS: You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.

    GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS: Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.

    ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD: You whine, you're fired.

    ASPIRATIONS FOR GROWTH WITHIN OUR COMPANY: We loooooove brown-nosers.

    --Brandy
     
  2. Donna

    Donna 1/2 ton status

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    Those are all so true they almost aren't funny. LOL
     
  3. hammer

    hammer 1/2 ton status

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    it is so true at my work place it is almost scarry. They were going to do another layoff but to many people quit
     
  4. 90K5

    90K5 1/2 ton status

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    A little off-topic, but MudNurI - I just got your name...I've been thinking it was Mud Nur ][ for a while
     
  5. MudNurI

    MudNurI 1/2 ton status

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    LOL its my license plate on the K5... LOL

    cud have been LVTRSH thats johns.... one of his workers said "why did Brandy let you put Love Trish" on your plate...duh its LOVE TRASH! hehehehe

    Brandy
     

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