Three surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Mass. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England! "The next one said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics. "The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a fellow who was high on pot and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a large nose. Now John Kerry is running for president of the United States."