Jokes - post 'em up.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by cbbr, Nov 11, 2005.

  1. cbbr

    cbbr 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

    Jul 17, 2004
    Likes Received:
    High velocity, Low altitude
    I need a laugh.
    One day a Scotsman who has been stranded on a desert island for over ten years, sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
    "It's certainly not a ship," he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer,he brgins to rule ou possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft.
    Suddenly emerging from the waves comes a drop-dead gorgeous blonde wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
    She approaches the stunned man and says,"Tell me, how long has it been since you had a cigarette?"
    "Ten years," replies the Scotsman.
    With that, she reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He takes one,lights it, takes a long drag and says,"Ahhhh! Is that good!"
    "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of whiskey?" she asks him.
    Trembling, the castaway replies, "Ten years." She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to him. He opens the flask, takes a long swig and says, "Tis absolutely fantastic!"
    At this point she begins slowly and enticingly unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wetsuit,looks at the man and asks,"And how long has it been since you've played around?"

    With tears in his eyes, the man falls on his knees and sobs, "Oh sweet Jesus! Don't tell me you'v e got golf clubs in there too!

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