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Kids leaving home?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by ronnny, Dec 18, 2005.

  1. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    We do not want to get into alot of details here but, At what time should the kids leave home /be thrown out? Mostly asking toward the older folks but if the in school/tech younguns want to put in thier 2 cents so be it. Not looking for a number here niether cause some get thier sooner or later than others.
     
  2. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    If they're done school, and not helping out around the house.
     
  3. Cricket

    Cricket 3/4 ton status

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    My opinion is out by 20. Don't worry, they always come back and stay from time to time after screwing up. :D
     
  4. 55Willy

    55Willy 3/4 ton status

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    as my dads says...they always come back.

    I left the house last I was 24. I was working almost 60 hours a week and did every repair job around the house. i was also the only one at the house when my parents were out of town doing my dads chemo.

    my brother moved back for a short time after he got out the service. both my brothers have at one time or another. I did when I moved back from idaho for a couple months til i could save some coin.


    I think most would move out at the end of high school before college.
    if my friends girlfriend didn't want to buy a house I'm sure he'd still be at his moms,LOL
     
  5. MTChevy

    MTChevy 3/4 ton status Premium Member

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    Im 17... this topic is interesting, i was sort of discussing it with my parents. In July, i turn 18, then i go off to college in october. I might like to come home afterwards to get on my feet again and work towards starting a sucessfull career. The period i stay at home would be used for getting my finances figured out and finding a place to live, that kind of stuff. Wyotech is only a 9 month school,, maybe stay home for 1/2 to one year. So im thinking I would leave for good around 19-20 years old? Just a guess. Kinda wondering what everyones opinions are on this thread
     
  6. Seventy4Blazer

    Seventy4Blazer 3/4 ton status

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    this is like... a question with no right or wrong answer. i think it is aa case by case basis. i was 17 when i moved out and finishing up HS. i moved back in at 18.5 right before i joined the Corps. i moved back home because my GF of the time and i split, not because of finances. some people are raised in a way that if they needed they could move out at 15 and succeed, others need to be 25.

    in my eyes a person should be ABLE to move out at 18. maybe wait till 19 or 20, but no later than 21. even if they fall on thier face and have to move back in 3 months, they ahve the experience.
    Grant
     
  7. sled_dog

    sled_dog 1 ton status

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    Case by case? i Moved out to go to school, headed back to the nest this week. Will likely be there for a year or more(say till I'm 22). I want to get a good job and my feet on the ground before I go out. Ideally I'd like to have a good enough job to try and find a house but I don't think that will really happen. 20 seems a bit harsh and naive these days. You really think there is much of any kid that has their life in order by 20? Its nice to say "let them make their own mistakes", but mistakes like credit debt can last for a very long time after the lesson is learned.
     
  8. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    gauderIf they're done school, and not helping out around the house.

    I agree with this but the wife does not and they have been getting worse. I understand it would be hard for them to find a place to go but if they stay me and my wife will split cause i cannot keep on with the kids. But then when the kids are gone maybe me and her could get back together. The first one is 17 and quit school so he should go until he is showing reasonable effort to get along and try and live on his own or get by. Don't know what to say so appreciate the responses.
     
  9. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    Ronny, are they your children too or are they step-children? That could make things tougher.

    The army is always hiring and they'll provide room and board too!;)
     
  10. bigjbear

    bigjbear 1 ton status Staff Member Moderator

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    I left at 18 and was in and out until I left for Paris Island (19) and never moved back in after that.

    My thought has been you need to contribute. Work or school, if not then paint the house, clean out the garage/attic, etc.
     
  11. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    step since they were little but always had differences with the wifey on how they sould be treated. He is looking into it but not sure if they will take him and the wifey is set againt it giving him a hard time.
     
  12. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    Not sure what to tell you. They need to be doing something to earn their room and board though.
     
  13. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    Yeah when the wifey gets home we will argue a little about it and decide if he will leave or she wants to leave with him or i will be happy to leave it's all kind of lead up. Don't know what anyone can say really i think me and the wifey are at a point of divorce on this.
     
  14. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    Why don't you wait until after the holidays to hash this one out? Sounds like it may be a knock-down-drag-out fight, so enjoy the season first.
     
  15. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    cause me and this one had a fight and i threw him outa the house after the wifey left for work. Says i messed up his shoulder or somethin' and he ain't coming home till his mommy comes with him tonight says i messed up his shoulder or somethin'. But what do you do when they are taller and wiegh sp in at nearly as much as you do? She does not want to understand that at this point it is time for him to leave weather or not he can do for himself. I don't want much but he does not seem to be able to do a few simple things as in keep picked up after himself. Not much way to put it off the fuse has been lit and about midnight we will se what happens. My side of the family had our get together last night so most of that is over and done with.
     
  16. gauder

    gauder Banned

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    Do you love her? I mean enough that you want to stay married?

    You can play war with him in other ways you know. Leaves dirty dishes around? Hide them under his bed. Leaves dirty clothes around? Fold them up and put them back in his drawers/closet.

    If you put out the call here, I'm sure there's plenty of us twisted enough to give you some ideas to get under his skin, but not piss the wifey off too bad.

    Just trying to help you out here brother.
     
  17. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    past that stage been into that off and on awhile. I'm the kind at work to hide a bar-b-que pork chop in your socket set that you hardly use. I have made up a sticker to put over the county on the tag of his girl that says "cmeeata". Our county is coweta. I know how to play games like a good fire in the living room makes the back of the house cold when the heat don't come on. She just babies him to much for someone that thinks they are grown. I hate it about the holidays but maybe when the kids are gone we can get back to how things us to be.
     
  18. Can Can

    Can Can Pusher Man Staff Member Super Moderator

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    IMHO, your obligations as a provider of room and board are over when your child decides that they are ready to move on from student to worker, whether it's high school or college. Unfortunately, a lot of ex-students can't seem to make the transition into the workforce without a couple of years of lollygagging and lounging around.

    If your kid is done school or has no intention of going to college, it's time for him to buck up, become a man, get a job, and start paying rent. You can use a line that I'm probably gonna use in about 10 years- "You're paying rent now, son. If you don't wanna pay me, you can pay someone else......."

    The biggest obstacle you're facing is that you and the missus aren't in agreement on how to deal with the situation. Before you're too harsh on her, remember that a mother's instinct is to coddle and protect her children, even when they are fully grown. Like gauder says, wait until the rush of the holidays is over and then sit her down and explain to her that the best thing for the young lad at this point in his life is to get out there and try and make it on his own. Sure, he may fall flat on his face, and if that happens, he can always come back. But remind her that every baby bird needs a push to learn to fly, or else they would never leave the nest.:deal:
     
  19. ronnny

    ronnny 1/2 ton status

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    A little late to wait till after the holidays. Just a couple hours till shes off work at we talk about this. I don't plan to raise my voice or argue alot. I will leave first before it gets that far. Maybe if this came to a head a few months ago it would be better but it didn't so not much else to do. At least all here are on the almost grown side with the youngest to be around being 16. So we will not affect little ones at this time of year.
     
  20. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Watch for the muzzleflash!
    I'm pretty sure Id have drank myself to death if my step daughter didn't move out last year, I'm awfully proud of her now though, shes done a great bit of growing up having been on her own, her brother on the other hand needs to be out after 18 or in college and have a job that fills the rest of his time or his whiney a$$ won't be in my house whithout my foot placed firmly in hiss butt. As for my kid....I'm packin his bags already and he's nine, probably join the service or become a rock star...:doah: :rolleyes:
     

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