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Latrine 101 for all of you young ones

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by rogerwilco71, Jan 2, 2003.

  1. rogerwilco71

    rogerwilco71 1/2 ton status

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    I noticed this weekend while at the movies (Two Towers...the shortest 3hrs ever) some rookies in the head invading my Urinal space. Read this and pay attention:
    1. Urinals 2 and 4 are occupied.

    |...|.X.|...|.X.|...|...|
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

    The correct answer is 6. It's the ONLY one to go to and every guy instinctively knows this.


    2. Urinal 1 is Occupied

    |.X.|...|...|...|...|...|
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

    The correct answer is 6. Stall 5 is acceptable, but you run a greater risk of being next to someone who arrives later.

    3. No Urinals Are Occupied - Tricky

    |...|...|...|...|...|...|
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

    The correct answer is 1 or 6. By choosing one of these, you are tacitly saying, "I don't want anyone next to me."

    4. Urinals 2, 4 and 6 are occupied.


    |...|.X.|...|.X.|...|.X.|
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |


    The correct answer is 1. You're stuck being next to at least ONE guy, so you minimize the impact and get a wall on your left. NEVER go between TWO guys if you can help it. Exceptions to this are stadium rest rooms where the herd thunders in.


    5. Urinals 2, 5 and 6 are occupied - Tricky


    |...|.X.|...|...|.X.|.X.|
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |


    The correct answer is 4. Believe it or not, 1 or 3 "couples" you with the guy in stall 2. And we wouldn't want THAT now, would we? This differs from question 4 in such a subtle way that the nuances cannot be explained. Suffice it to say, only we men would understand!

    6. Urinals 1, 2, 5 and 6 are occupied.
    - Very Tricky

    |.X.|.X.|...|...|.X.|.X.|
    | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |

    The answer is NONE! You go to the mirror and pretend to comb your hair or straighten a tie until the urinals "open up" a bit more. If you have to go REAL, REAL BAD, for God's sake, man, use a stall with a door!

    Other Parts of the Unwritten Code of the Urinals:

    NO Talking, unless it's a good friend... but even then, keep it terse and unemotional. This ain't no clubhouse.

    I don't think I need to tell you, but absolutely NO touching of anyone other than yourself. A touch of another's elbow is the highest offense.

    NO Singing. Period.

    Glances are for purposes of acknowledgment only..."Yeah, I see you there. I will not look again


    /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif /forums/images/graemlins/deal.gif
     
  2. heavy4x4

    heavy4x4 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
    Ah yes...bringing back memories of high school...3 urinals, and the middle one was almost never used...no one (including me) wanted to "shoot the gap."
     
  3. 90K5

    90K5 1/2 ton status

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    This is a good thread, seems like there are a lot of people out there that need to read it
     
  4. greywolf

    greywolf 1/2 ton status

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    i hate the guy that asks how are you? full!(i'm taking a leak leave me alone!)
     
  5. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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  6. Sandman

    Sandman 3/4 ton status Author

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  7. jackedjimmy350

    jackedjimmy350 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  8. mountainexplorer

    mountainexplorer 1/2 ton status

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    If theres even one other person in the bathroom, I'll use a stall.
     
  9. Chris87K5

    Chris87K5 1/2 ton status

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    what about the "semi-retarded" guy that always stands right next to you and when he undoes his pants they practically fall to the floor???
     
  10. Tybee

    Tybee 1/2 ton status

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    You need /forums/images/graemlins/1zhelp.gif
     
  11. m j

    m j 1/2 ton status

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    you forgot

    WASH YOUR FAWKING HANDS

    and even the ladies know

    TOUCH ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

    I just had an incident relayed to me the other day...
    friend enters the latrine,
    3 urinals and Moron standing in #2

    good post
     
  12. potato76

    potato76 1/2 ton status

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    thats just dick because now no one can use 1 or 3
     
  13. 70jimmy

    70jimmy 3/4 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    I was at the mall with my kid and he had to go. We go into the restroom and there is 4 urinals. 3 adult height and one child height. A well dressed man is at the child height one. My 6 year old announces very loudly, "Hey use one that is your own size!!!" Guy says how embarrasing and that before we came in all the others were being used.

    This thread made me remember that. /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif
     
  14. tomseviltwin

    tomseviltwin 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  15. Highlander

    Highlander 1/2 ton status

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    Good post /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif



    Eric
     

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