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Laugh for today (unless you're a pilot)

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by gm4x, Apr 7, 2004.

  1. gm4x

    gm4x 1/2 ton status

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    Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    Pilot Gripe Sheets

    After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
    conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the
    flight that need repair or correction.

    The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on
    the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot
    reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.

    Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
    Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
    by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the
    way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

    (P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
    (S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

    P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
    S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

    P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
    S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

    P: Something loose in cockpit.
    S: Something tightened in cockpit.

    P: Dead bugs on windshield.
    S: Live bugs on back-order.

    P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
    S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
    S: That's what they're there for.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

    P: Suspected crack in windshield.
    S: Suspect you're right.

    P: Number 3 engine missing.
    S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

    P: Aircraft handles funny.
    S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

    P: Target radar hums.
    S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

    P: Mouse in cockpit.
    S: Cat installed.

    P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
    S: Took hammer away from midget
     
  2. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  3. landsmasher

    landsmasher 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    Those are great. Many of these are posted in aircraft magazines and are constantly being updated. Aircraft mechanics do have a great sense of humor... /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  4. gm4x

    gm4x 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    DITTO!!!!!!!>> /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  5. mud390

    mud390 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    [ QUOTE ]
    P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
    S: DME volume set to more believable level.

    P: IFF inoperative.
    S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode

    [/ QUOTE ]

    I have actually used those before! I got into trouble for it once, but oh well! /forums/images/graemlins/blush.gif

    Kris
     
  6. MTBLAZER89

    MTBLAZER89 3/4 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    yeah they are funny until you have to explain them to a pilot..with a college educashiun /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif

    ME[ QUOTE ]
    Well sir....that's how it's supposed to work yes with the switch in that position

    [/ QUOTE ]
     
  7. Tweetysuarus

    Tweetysuarus 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
    Bill
     
  8. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    [ QUOTE ]
    P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
    S: Evidence removed.

    [/ QUOTE ]


    Right on!!!

    That's how I fix my truck! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  9. joez

    joez 1/2 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  10. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  11. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Re: Laugh for today (unless you\'re a pilot)

    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     

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