Dismiss Notice

Welcome To CK5!

Registering is free and easy! Hope to see you on the forums soon.

Score a FREE t-shirt and membership sticker when you sign up for a Premium Membership and choose the recurring plan.

Lawyers

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by mudhog, Feb 10, 2003.

  1. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2000
    Posts:
    17,899
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    portland oregon
    >1. The Post Office just recalled their latest stamps. They had
    >pictures of lawyers on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
    >
    >2. How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
    >She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.
    >
    >3. How does an attorney sleep?
    >First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
    >
    >4. How many lawyer jokes are there?
    >Only three. The rest are true stories.
    >
    >5. How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
    >How many can you afford?
    >
    >6. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    >Three. One to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the
    >ladder company.
    >
    >7. If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could
    >save only one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?
    >
    >8. What did the lawyer name his daughter? Sue.
    >
    >9. What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers? Skeet.
    >
    >10. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
    >
    >11. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
    >
    >12. What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His partners.
    >
    >13. What does a lawyer use for birth control? His personality.
    >
    >14. What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
    >Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
    >
    >15. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
    >The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
    >
    >16. Why does California have the most lawyers in the country
    >while New Jersey has the most toxic waste sites?
    >New Jersey got first choice.
     
  2. Bubba Ray Boudreaux

    Bubba Ray Boudreaux 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2001
    Posts:
    20,716
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Undisclosed Location
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  3. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Posts:
    20,073
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Salem, Or.
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  4. uglychevyZZ4

    uglychevyZZ4 3/4 ton status

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2002
    Posts:
    6,094
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Black Diamond, Wa
    /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  5. schmuck

    schmuck 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2002
    Posts:
    523
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    nola(new orleans LA)
    /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif
     
  6. bpiccioni

    bpiccioni 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2002
    Posts:
    187
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eugene, OR
    17. What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start! /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif

    18. Why dont sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy.
     

Share This Page