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Let's all move to Kans-Ass this summer!!

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by thatK30guy, Aug 1, 2002.

  1. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    Let\'s all move to Kans-Ass this summer!!

    > > > > LET'S ALL MOVE TO KANSAS, THIS SUMMER . . .
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > >
    > > > > May 30th: Just moved to Wichita....KS. Now this is a city
    that
    > > knows
    > > > >how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
    > > > >
    > > > > What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a
    blanket.
    > > It
    > > > >was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
    > > > >
    > > > > June 14th: Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a
    problem.
    > > Live
    > > > >in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a
    > pleasure
    > > > >to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a sun
    worshipper.
    > > > >
    > > > > June 30th: Had the backyard landscaped with western
    plants
    > today.
    > > > >Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more
    mowing
    for
    > > me.
    > > > >
    > > > > Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
    > > > >
    > > > > July 10th: The temperature hasn't been below 100 all
    week. How
    > do
    > > > >people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind of
    windy
    > though.
    > > > >But getting used to the heat and humidity is taking longer than
    I
    > > expected.
    > > > >
    > > > > July 15th: Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 2nd degree burns
    over
    > 60%
    > > > >of my body.) Missed 2 days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I
    learned
    > my
    > > > >lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like
    this.
    > > > >
    > > > > July 20th: I missed Jerry (our cat) sneaking into the car
    when
    I
    > > > >left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch,
    Jerry
    > had
    > > > >swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over
    the
    > $2,000
    > > > >leather upholstery. I told the kids that he ran away. The car
    now
    > smells
    > > > >like Kibbles and S..... No more pets in this heat.
    > > > >
    > > > > July 25th: The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking
    blow
    > > > >dryer!! And it's hot as h... The home air- conditioner is on the
    fritz
    > > and
    > > > >the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he
    needed
    to
    > > > >order parts.
    > > > >
    > > > > July 30th: Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights
    now.
    > > > >$1,500 in damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why
    did I
    > ever
    > > > >come here?
    > > > >
    > > > > Aug. 4th: It's 115 degrees. Finally got the
    air-conditioner
    > fixed
    > > > >today. It cost $500 and gets the temperature down a little, but
    this
    > > > >freaking humidity makes the house feel like it's about 90.
    Stupid
    > > repairman
    > > > >peed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
    > > > >
    > > > > Aug. 8th: If another wise butt cracks, "Hot enough for
    you
    > > today?",
    > > > >I'm going to tear his throat out. Darn heat. By the time I get
    to
    work
    > > the
    > > > >radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I
    smell
    like
    > a
    > > > >dead cat!!
    > > > >
    > > > > Aug. 9th: Tried to run some errands after work. Wore
    shorts,
    and
    > > sat
    > > > >on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my butt was
    on
    > fire.
    > > I
    > > > >lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs
    and
    > butt..
    > > > >Now my car smells like burnt butt and fried cat.
    > > > >
    > > > > Aug. 10th: The weather report might as well be a darn
    recording.
    > > Hot
    > > > >and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do crap for 2
    darn
    > months
    > > > >and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
    Doesn't it
    > > ever
    > > > >rain in this barren desert?? Water rationing will be next, so
    $1700
    > worth
    > > > >of cactus just might dry up and blow into the darn pool. Even
    the
    > cactus
    > > > >can't live in this heat.
    > > > >
    > > > > Aug. 14th: Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 113
    today.
    > Forgot
    > > > >to crack the window and blew the darn windshield out of the car.
    The
    > > > >installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
    My
    wife
    > > had
    > > > >to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.
     

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