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Life....l

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by DBLAZER, Oct 4, 2004.

  1. DBLAZER

    DBLAZER 1/2 ton status

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    I have had a weird life. I grew up in an enviroment that set me up to make all the wrong choices yet for some reason I was always able to do the right thing. My MOM was a single mother that was a work aholic. She didn't have very good luck with men and never understood or I think at times was very happy that she had a son. I am not saying she was a bad mother, more like an absent one that was never really happy with me. I grew up , til age 16, in the4 bad part of Dallas. I was minority white guy that went to a schools that actaully had hit a honky day. I spent most of my time riding my bike and skateboardiing with guys that smoked and did drugs, but I never did. I got involved with some guys in highschool that were all in gangs and did some very bad things, but for some reason my moral compass was always very strong, so I always just knew when to say no and keep out of trouble. At age 16 I got jumped at school and shot at, the bullets came within inches of my face. I was lucky enough to have a man in my life that wanted to be a father to me that I never had. I moved out of Dallas (Oak Cliff) and headed out to the country. I moved on to a Arabian Horse Farm and went from city boy to country boy. I won't say it was an easy transition, I fought it the whole way, but in the end country living suited me just fine.
    After Highscool I moved all over Texas trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I went to collage and did ranch work in West Texas, Apline to be exact, for a couple of years but I ended up back in Dallas, hell right back in Oak Cliff. My Dad was dying og HIV and I wanted to be near him, so I came back. I learned my a great life lesson from him those couple of years. <font color="red">Time is short, live life. </font> LB, that was his name, LB never lived like he had a disease that could kill him, it drove his family and mine, NUTS!! He was in New York when the unthinkable happened, he had an anurism (SP)in his brain. Here we all are worried about him getting sick and this comes out of left field. I went out there and spent the next 6 months NY, NY with him in a coma and then him coming out of it with severe brain damage. His family was very difficult and in the end they won the battle and took him back to his old home and he lived out the last year of his life on machines and not knowing anybody. It hurt me but I knew that the man I loved had lived a good life and he was happy to be gone.
    Lesson learned.. Live LIFE!!!

    Fast Forward to today. I have lived my life trying to live..... so I thought. I love to help people. I enjoy it. My wife says it is best and worst atributes. I will stop and help people on the side of the road damn near every time. I always figured someday it would come back to me. It never really seemed to though. I would break down and know one would help me out. I help my buddies out, hey here some cash if you need it, nah, don't worry, get me back when you can.....hey you can have that part, I ain't using it........

    Work, man did I work. I am my mothers SON!!! I was a working man. I am now in management and get paid salary for 40 hours but put in 80. I spent much more time here than out wheelin or with my wife or anywhere else. I would say I was doing it for my wife but I was really doing it because it was what my mother did. It is what I knew.

    August 2004......everything changed.

    As some of you know, my wife was pregnant with my first child. I was excited and scared. I have never been good around kids and never held a baby. It always just freaked me out. My friends with kids told me it would change but to be honest, deep down inside, I didn't buy it. On August 6th my wife went into premature labor. We were not due until mid october (two weeks from now)!! We wentto the hospital thinking we would be home by the end of the night. Well, 70 hours later, on August 9th, my wife had our Daughter, Samantha Dylan Barnard . She was born 2.5 months early. The instant I saw her, I UNDERSTOOD. I was in love. She stole my heart. We got to see her for about 5 seconds and they rushed her off to the NICU, where she would spend the next month.
    She was sooooooo small. 3 lbs 14 ounces. During the next week she dropped to 3.5 lbs. She lived in a box , she had a machine feed her, breath for her. It was a very scary time.

    10 days later......August 19th......I am working noghts now.....I get up...go to work.....leave work.....go to the hospital........come home.......sleep a couple of hours.....start over......
    It is 10 days later and I am heading to work. They are doing construction by my house and the county just opened up a new section of road. They moved a stop sign back on our road 132 feet. I have now run this new stop sign twice....it puts me in the middle of 114, major road, lots of big trucks....LOTS OF BIG TRUCKS.....I have thought to myslef I was lucky I didnt get hurt.......

    It is 10 days later..... I am driving behind a Honda Civic.....It is getting close to that stop sign....it is starting to drizzle........I am watching her drive.....and the world stops.........the world slows....in my head..STOP!! STOP!! STOP!!.... I look left and I see a truck......She doesnt stop...... <font color="red"> BAM ......they are gone!!!! </font>

    Did I just see that? Is this real??? It is. I drive to the wreck....I had to drive because the diesel took a ways top be able to stop. I jump out of my car and run to the car. I am alone....I look in the car and she is.....the right words...the right words....destroyed...ripped in half....I hear a scream and the world come back. The driver of the truck is out and see's what has happened, what he has done and falls to his knees and is crying. I realize I am the Only person around so I have to see of she is still alive. So I break into what is left of the car to try and check her vitals.. I know she is dead , no one can be alive and look like this, but still, I have to check....so I do. It took me a few minutes to get to her but I did...She is gone.

    I know turn my attention to the driver of the truck who sobs " I killed her honey, I am in a accident and I killed her" and drops his phone. I looked at him and asked.."What is your name?" He tells me it is Richard. "Richard who were you just talking to?" .....his wife. I pick up the phone and put it back together and redial. She picks totally frantic. I tell her...."Hello, my name is Nashu Barnard, I am with your husband Richard. He is OK...." I proceeded to calm her down and tell her I need her to stay calm. I tell her what has happened. I tell her that she needs to calm down and she needs to talk to her husband, that he needs her right now. dont stop talking I say, He needs to hear your voice and hear everything is going to be OK. I put her back on with him. By now others have stopped. They have dialed 911 (I did as I was getting out of the truck and don't even remember) Somehow, I have taken control of the scene. I have moved Richard to the back of my truck and grabbed him a blanket. I have also got two people to start to get traffice moving. I actually end up directing traffic for a while until the cops show...I then went back to Richard whom I spent the next hour with on the side of the road. I kept him out of the scene and calm. I was just trying to help him, I mean he just killed a girl, someones daughter....it hits me....it all changes..........
    I don't remember much after....I remeber the Police and the Chaplin telling me how helpfull I was....I remember talking with Richard......"I know you did what you could, I was watching, she just pulled out in front of you....(side note, the stop sign is a slight hill and the road he was on curves...he never saw her until she was in front of him)" I remember thinking I hope here parents don't drive by..I remeber thinking I hope they don't hate me....I remember thinking it was my wife.....it was my daughter. I remember staying until evreyone else was gone....the cops....the firemen.....everyone...I remember crying.

    Life is so short, Life is SOOOO precious. Life is amazing. Life is wonderful. Life is hard. Life makes sense. Life makes no sense. LIVE.

    Yesterday there was a knock at my door. I open it up and there is a man. He says his name is Bob Thomson. He says he hopes he isn't over stepping his bounds. He says he has been looking for me for a couple of weeks. That his Daughter was killed in a car wreck. That he heard from the police that I tried to save her. That as it started to rain I coverd her so she would get wet and cold. He says thank you. I ask him in and we spent the next 2 hours talking.

    You know what, my life has changed. I no longer define myslef by my job. I define myself by my family. My wife is amazing, my duaghter is ....is.....evrything. She make me smile.
    I know this was crazy long and , maybe it rambled, but I had to say it....it needed to get out.....If you read it thanks, if not that is ok to.
    Nashu
     
  2. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    So Shines A Good Deed In A Weary World
     
  3. Corey 78K5

    Corey 78K5 1 ton status

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    Wow that was deep.
     
  4. txfiremank5

    txfiremank5 1/2 ton status

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    That's a pretty amazing story. I see things like that all too often. I am trulely grateful for my wife and two little girls.. they are my life. When I see kids killed in a fire, or a wreck.. and then come home to my girls, it's an awsome feeling to have them run to me yelling, "daddy's home"... not because they do it.. but because they can. It's a sad thing to see someones loved one gone... but it really makes you grateful that your family is ok... and it keeps you from taking them for granted. I found that being a husband &amp; fatehr means, worry often accompanies me, especially when I'm not home. But, I'm sure with everything I've seen, it's only natural.... All I can do is take all the precautions I can, and hope and pray for the best.

    My best wishes to you and your wife &amp; daughter.
     
  5. heavy4x4

    heavy4x4 1/2 ton status

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    May your actions rub off on others...it's people like you that better mankind. One person CAN make a difference. Think of all the people you helped out that tragic day. Now, think of all the people linked to that tragic day that you indirectly helped out. They truly thank you. I truly thank you. Someone lost their daughter in an accident, but you made it less of a bad thing.

    Live your life for those that you love, those that you don't love, and those that you don't even know! Enjoy the new addition to your family. /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  6. Goober

    Goober 1/2 ton status

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    I'm awful glad there's folks like you in this world.

    Thanks for sharing ..... I gotta go kiss my son.
     
  7. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    Thanks for sharing Nash... /forums/images/graemlins/frown.gif
     
  8. tRustyK5

    tRustyK5 Big meanie Staff Member Super Moderator GMOTM Winner Author

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    Thanks for sharing Nash, I wish there were more guys like you out there...

    Rene
     
  9. BurbinOR

    BurbinOR 3/4 ton status

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    Nashu,

    That was very moving, thanks for opening up your heart. I had an epiphany of much smaller proportions than yours a few years ago so I understand what you feel. Every day I realize how fortunate I am to have my family. /forums/images/graemlins/laugh.gif
     
  10. pauly383

    pauly383 Daddy383 Staff Member Moderator

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    There is so much we may not agree upon . Yet we all have some common ground as people . Stories like this make you think about what you have , and the what you don't have just kind of fades away as it is not as important . Whether we agree on the same politics or not , I wouldn't mind you being in my town , if only more people could help out . I wish everyone involved better days , and I hope more people take this story of yours to heart and think more of other people /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gif /forums/images/graemlins/k5.gif
     
  11. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    very moving story makes you stop and think about what is important in your life. thanks for sharing. there needs to be more people like you in this world and it would be a much better place
     
  12. backcountry

    backcountry 1/2 ton status

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    Very powerful story DBLAZER. It takes a real man to lay it all on the line like this.

    It goes to show us all, that with persistence and the right frame of mind we can overcome the difficulties of our past and our futures. /forums/images/graemlins/peace.gif
     
  13. 70jimmy

    70jimmy 3/4 ton status Premium Member GMOTM Winner

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    Good reminder of what is really important and not to take those things for granted.

    Sounds like you did a great job of controlling the scene. Not sure how long ago this happened but, after a traumatic event it is always good to talk to other people that have experienced similar things. Critical incident debriefing. Even though you did not know this person just being exposed to it can be traumatic and be affecting you and you may not even be aware of it.

    Sounds like you handled the incident very well and you can be on my crash scene anytime. Not that you would want to be at more!! /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  14. BurbLover

    BurbLover 1/2 ton status

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    Thanks for posting /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif VERY moving story. Really makes one stop &amp; think about the priorities in life!!!
     
  15. surpip

    surpip 1 ton status

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    wowow good on ya bro! thats crazy i only know a handfull of people that could have handled somthing like that you a good man in my book /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  16. 84k5

    84k5 1/2 ton status

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    Nashu, you are a heck of a role model. Your daughter is going to become a great person. Thanks for posting this. /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  17. shane74

    shane74 1/2 ton status

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    Nash, it looks to me like you are one of the "everyday heros" we have too few of. You stepped up in a crisis situation and did what you could to make things better, managable. You help reaffirm my confidence in mankind. Thanks for that!

    In the end, all that matters is the amount of happy, healthy, positive time we had with our families, friends, and even complete strangers. Some of the best people/friends I have ever met were the result of happenstance. In order to be truly happy, you have to truly live.
     
  18. justhorsinaround

    justhorsinaround 3/4 ton status

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    Not to toot my own horn, but for some reason I have been Johnny on the spot for quite a few accidents and it always gives me sick feelin in the pit of my stomach.

    Thank you so much for postin this story. It always seems that when you are just about to go crazy and shoot people along comes a story such as yours Nashu that puts a little faith in humanity back in ya.

    Again, thanks for bein you.
     
  19. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    Thanks for sharing that with us Nashu, I haven't known you very long, but the time I have known you, you have been very kind to me. May your future be greatful with Samantha and your wife. Thanks for shining light upon me.
     
  20. yunit

    yunit 1/2 ton status

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    Thank you for sharing your life and feelings Nashu, it's hard to find REAL people nowadays, but you are one of the few REAL people out there. Best of luck to you, your wife, and your daughter. Pete.
     

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