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Life lessons.

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Grim-Reaper, Feb 22, 2002.

  1. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Atlanta
    1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin
    unprotected.

    2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.

    3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.

    4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore
    helmets.

    5. Do you think illiterate people get the full affect of alphabet soup?

    6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more
    specific.

    7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but
    when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?

    8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone
    going faster than you is a maniac?

    9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day
    when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

    10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock
    every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there
    picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

    11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of
    mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then
    it must be you.

    12. They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains. I think if you've
    got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't
    your biggest problem.

    13. Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you
    it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is
    beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the walls.

    14. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and
    said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I
    didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too."

    15. Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library,
    the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton
    Adult Bookstore.

    Women dig dents and flat paint!
    coloradok5.com/gallery/Grim
    75 Jimmy, Dollar
    Grim-Reaper
     
  2. beater74

    beater74 1/2 ton status

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    Me likes #14 dats funny bang bang!

    gime a bucket of chicken with extra skin!
     
  3. UseYourBlinker

    UseYourBlinker 1 ton status

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    .
    <blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr>

    11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of
    mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then
    it must be you.

    <hr></blockquote>

    It's true!! ***Hey who said that?***



    Eric
    from Freekmont,CA.

    <a target="_blank" href=http://www.community.webshots.com/user/vwryda>I'm Discombobulated </a>
     
  4. jimmyjack

    jimmyjack 1/2 ton status

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    Location:
    Tucson Az
    You mean that's YOUR voice I'm hearing?

    That jeep thing? Yah I understand it....... Like my Blazer? <a target="_blank" href=http://community.webshots.com/user/blazerk5>http://community.webshots.com/user/blazerk5</a>
    Jim
     
  5. shawnboy

    shawnboy 1/2 ton status

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2001
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    Location:
    Toronto, Canada, eh.
    You're just jealous because the voices talk to me.

    <font color=red>If you are having too much fun it's probably illegal.</font color=red>
    <font color=red>Because I, Am, Canadian!!!</font color=red>
     

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