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Limited Edition Oregon Barbie Dolls

Discussion in 'Pacific Region' started by bigbluesuburban, May 1, 2007.

  1. bigbluesuburban

    bigbluesuburban 1/2 ton status

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    If you ain't from around here... you won't get it... If you are, then this is gonna kill ya.



    Mattel recently announced the release of the improved limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Oregon market:
    [​IMG]

    "Lake Oswego Barbie"
    This princess Barbie is sold only at the Pioneer Square Mall. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version.


    [​IMG]
    "Beaverton Barbie"
    The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full-time occupation. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.



    [​IMG]
    "Woodburn Barbie"
    This recently paroled Bilingual Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.


    [​IMG]
    "Bend Barbie"
    This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

    [​IMG]
    "Sweet Home Barbie"
    This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

    [​IMG]
    "Lebanon Barbie"
    This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Sweet Home Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.

    [​IMG]
    "Eugene Barbie"
    This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Eugene Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

    [​IMG]
    "North Portland Barbie"
    This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant dolls from two different races. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the second infant.






     
  2. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

    That right there is just to damn funny
     
  3. chevyfumes

    chevyfumes Court jester

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    OMFG!!!!! Doood, thats some funny chit...
     
  4. onlychevy6

    onlychevy6 1/2 ton status

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    lol....
     
  5. 55Willy

    55Willy 3/4 ton status

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    100 % correct and pretty damn funny too :)
     
  6. y5mgisi

    y5mgisi 1 ton status

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    WOW i wonder how long they researched that? Cause that is pretty spot on!
     
  7. Chevit

    Chevit 1/2 ton status

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    :d :d :d
     
  8. W7NB

    W7NB 1/2 ton status

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    Damn Dude! I just had to give myself the heimlcih maneuver about the time I made it to Seet Home, and had to get out a defibulator at Eugene!!!!!!!!
    :bow::D:haha::D:bow:
     
  9. BKinzey

    BKinzey 1/2 ton status

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    Sorry, I gotta call it, not one of these Barbies has OBD. Yes, it's terrible and shamefull, but since OBD can, and does, strike these women of all backgrounds and often at a very early age it must be brought out in the open and addressed.

    The O.B.D. Ribbon comes in all colors. It's the really W-I-D-E one.
    :haha::D:D:D
     
  10. colbystephens

    colbystephens 1 ton status GMOTM Winner

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  11. CDA 455

    CDA 455 3/4 ton status

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    :eek1: :haha: :eek1: :haha:
     

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