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Little Billy (formerly Little Johnny) - no worky no kiddies

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by jarheadk5, Aug 6, 2004.

  1. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER

    Little Billy was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."
    Little Billy replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
    "Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
    "No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own f**kin' business!!"



    LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Little Billy.
    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."
    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
    Then Little Billy says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."
    To which Little Billy replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."



    LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH

    Little Billy returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
    "Why?" asks the father."
    "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.
    "But that's right!" says his dad.
    "Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"
    "What's the f**kin' difference?" asks the father?
    "That's what I said!"



    LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH

    Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
    Billy says " Mas-tur-bate."
    Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little Billy , that's a mouthful."
    Little Billy says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."



    LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR

    One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.
    First she called on Little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
    "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Michael.
    "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."
    The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called on Little Billy.
    "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just f**kin' beautiful!"
     
  2. ramjet gmc

    ramjet gmc CK5 Staff Staff Member Moderator GMOTM Winner

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  3. Poohbair

    Poohbair 1/2 ton status

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    God I love Little Billy/Little Johnny jokes.... /forums/images/graemlins/grin.gif
     
  4. 88Silverado

    88Silverado 1/2 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  5. Stickseler

    Stickseler 3/4 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  6. thezentree

    thezentree 3/4 ton status

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    lmfao!!!!!!! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  7. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    thats halarious /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  8. uao85

    uao85 1/2 ton status

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    I almost fell of my chair....... /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  9. lifethroughdeath

    lifethroughdeath 1/2 ton status

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    Awesome /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  10. bigcountryk5

    bigcountryk5 1/2 ton status

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    i haven't been able to laugh for a couple days thanks man i needed that /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  11. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    is there anymore? I like these /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  12. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    I pick & choose the good ones that I get in email & post them here. I don't bother with the crappy ones...
     
  13. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    Make sure you keep posting the good ones then! Those were [darn] funny!
     
  14. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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  15. Resurrection_Joe

    Resurrection_Joe 1 ton status

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    [ QUOTE ]
    A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Killing animals! And a teacher said it? OH NOEEEEEES! /forums/images/graemlins/rotfl.gif
     
  16. jarheadk5

    jarheadk5 1/2 ton status

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    Definitely not a teacher in California... I wonder how they teach kids these days about how the white man decimated the wild buffalo herds with muzzle-loaders - oh wait... they don't. /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif /forums/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif

    /forums/images/graemlins/waytogo.gif
     
  17. 84gmcjimmy

    84gmcjimmy 1 ton status

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    LOL those are halarious! /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  18. FatBoyBlazer

    FatBoyBlazer 1/2 ton status

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    thats good stuff /forums/images/graemlins/thumb.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     
  19. Muddytazz

    Muddytazz 1 ton status

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    /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif /forums/images/graemlins/histerical.gif
     

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