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Little ot, but funny

Discussion in '1973-1991 K5 Blazer | Truck | Suburban' started by Executioner, Jun 21, 2001.

  1. Executioner

    Executioner 1/2 ton status

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    little OT, but funny:

    > This is priceless - well worth taking a moment or two
    > > to read it. The following is a genuine hoot. This was
    > > an actual letter sent to Ryan De Vries from The Michigan
    > > Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.
    > > Wait till you read this guy's response - but read the
    > > entire letter before you get to the response.
    > >
    > > Mr. Ryan De Vries
    > > 2088 Dagget
    > > Pierson, MI 49339
    > >
    > > Dear Mr. De Vries:
    > >
    > > SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
    > > Montcalm County
    > >
    > > It has come to the attention of the Department of
    > > Environmental Quality that there has been recent
    > > unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel
    > > of property. You have been certified as the legal
    > > landowner and/or contractor who did the following
    > > unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance
    > > of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of
    > > Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start
    > > of this type of activity.
    > >
    > > A review of the Department's files shows that no
    > > permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has
    > > determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301,
    > > Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and
    > > Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
    > > of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
    > > Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.
    > >
    > > The Department has been informed that one or both of the
    > > dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing
    > > debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that
    > > dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be
    > > permitted.
    > >
    > > The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist
    > > all activities at this location, and to restore the stream
    > > to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush
    > > forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration
    > > work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998.
    > >
    > > Please notify this office when the restoration has been
    > > completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be
    > > scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request
    > > or any further unauthorized activity on the site may
    > > result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement
    > > action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full
    > > cooperation in this matter.
    > >
    > > Please feel free to contact me at this office if you
    > > have any questions.
    > >
    > > Sincerely,
    > > David L. Price
    > > District Representative
    > > Land and Water Management Division
    > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    > > RESPONSE
    > >
    > > Dear Mr. Price:
    > > Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20;
    > > Montcalm County
    > >
    > > Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed
    > > to me to respond to.
    > >
    > > First of all, Mr. Ryan De Vries is not the legal landowner
    > > and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. I am
    > > the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the
    > > (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining
    > > two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring
    > > Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise
    > > their dam project, I think they would be highly offended
    > > that you call their skillful use of natural building
    > > materials "debris."
    > >
    > > I would like to challenge your department to attempt to
    > > emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you
    > > choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you
    > > could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness,
    > > their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam
    > > determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your
    > > request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
    > > first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type
    > > of dam activity.
    > >
    > > My first dam question to you is:
    > >
    > > 1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond
    > > Beavers or
    > >
    > > 2) Do you require all beavers throughout this State to
    > > conform to said dam request?
    > >
    > > If you are not discriminating against these particular
    > > beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act I request
    > > completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam
    > > permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if
    > > there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes
    > > and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental
    > > Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
    > > sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan &nb! sp;
    > > Compiled Laws, annotated.
    > >
    > > I have several concerns: My first concern is - aren't the
    > > beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond
    > > Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay
    > > for said representation - so the State will have to provide
    > > them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that
    > > either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain
    > > event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural
    > > occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
    > >
    > > In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers
    > > alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam
    > > names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow
    > > condition - please contact the beavers - but if you are
    > > going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any
    > > attention to your dam letter being unable to read English)
    > > --be sure they are read the Miranda rights first. As for me,
    > > I am not going to cause more flooding or dam debris jams
    > > by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt
    > > these dam beavers - be aware I am sending a copy of your
    > > dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam department
    > > seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous
    > > and truly will not permit their existence in this State, I
    > > seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam
    > > policy or once again both the Spring Pond Beavers and I
    > > will scream prejudice!
    > >
    > > In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right
    > > to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue,
    > > the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have
    > > more dam right than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If
    > > the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
    > > Quality lives up to its name, it should protect the natural
    > > resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
    > >
    > > So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case
    > > can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right
    > > now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be
    > > under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or
    > > your dam staff to contact/harass them then.
    > >
    > > In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real
    > > environmental
    > > quality (health) problem in the area. It is
    > > the bears. Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I
    > > definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating
    > > bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to
    > > investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are
    > > not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with
    > > your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your
    > > dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your
    > > day office via another government organization - the dam
    > > USPS. Maybe, someday, it will get there.
    > >
    > > Sincerely,
    > >
    > > Stephen L. Tvedten
     
  2. 1bad82k5

    1bad82k5 1/2 ton status

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    That's great.
    eric

    Hell, it don't really matter....it's just for my race car.
     
  3. rocko

    rocko 1/2 ton status

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    Dam !!!!!
    That's funny.

    A well armed society is a polite society. <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.rocko.rockcrawler.com>http://www.rocko.rockcrawler.com</A>
     
  4. Pure Insanity

    Pure Insanity 1/2 ton status

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    That is WAY too dam funny! [​IMG]


    PURE INSANITY If ya can't stop,Smile as you go under!
    86 blazer see it at:<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.zing.com/album/pictures.html?id=4292792569>http://www.zing.com/album/pictures.html?id=4292792569</A>
     
  5. thatK30guy

    thatK30guy 1 ton status Premium Member

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    [​IMG] ROTFLMFAO!!! [​IMG]

    Now, finally something funny posted by you, INTENTIONALLY!!! [​IMG] [​IMG]

    <font color=red>I m so we Todd did.
    I m sofa king we Todd did.</font color=red>
     
  6. jimmyjack

    jimmyjack 1/2 ton status

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    God Bless America damnit!!

    "My blazer may be slow, but it goes faster at higher speeds"

    Jim
     
  7. Grim-Reaper

    Grim-Reaper 3/4 ton status Author

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    ROTDFLMDAO!!!!!!!!!!!

    It's not my damn planet monkey boy!
    Grim-Reaper
     
  8. Sparky87k5

    Sparky87k5 1/2 ton status

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    Sad thing is it's closer to the truth than I care to admit. Our tax dollars at work, if that's what government does with them, maybe they need less $. Love the reply!

    87 K5, D60 & 14FF, 5 sp & NP208 & 383 stroker. Build it Bulletproof and take it fishing!
     
  9. bandit

    bandit 1/2 ton status

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    Thats what i call damn letter to the damn goverment waht bunch of damn things thye did ill be damned

    ok im done damnit

    AJ
    Soon to wheelin spot near you
    Project Harvey[​IMG]
     
  10. Pugsley

    Pugsley 1/2 ton status

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    Welcome to government intelligence - makes one proud, doesn't it?

    I'm so poor I can't even pay attention [​IMG]
    <A target="_blank" HREF=http://pugsley.alloffroad.com>http://pugsley.alloffroad.com</A>
     
  11. WOODYJ

    WOODYJ 1/2 ton status

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    Boy, this dam story makes the government look pretty bad in their dam management skills. This series of two dams made someone pretty dam mad to go to those dam links to try to prosecute a dam law abiding citizen who had two dam beavers on his land building dams. This just goes to show you how dam low the people in the dam know are supposed to be. What can I say, the dam government is getting dam low to let anyone work in their dam management department who doesn't even know whow builds the dam dams. Well, that's my dam $.02 worth! Dam, I hate those guys who think they know every dam thing!!

    k5woody I Don't Understand The Jeep Thing Either!!!
     
  12. solowookie

    solowookie 1/2 ton status

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    hey thanks... I needed that!!

    [​IMG] <font color=blue> Jeff </font color=blue> [​IMG]
     
  13. mudhog

    mudhog THEGAME Staff Member Super Moderator

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    i have seen this befor and get a dam big kick out of it everytime i see it [​IMG]

    77blazer see it at<A target="_blank" HREF=http://community.webshots.com/user/ssmith6333>http://community.webshots.com/user/ssmith6333</A>
     
  14. newyorkin

    newyorkin 1 ton status

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    Dam that's funny!

    Ratch
    **<A target="_blank" HREF=http://k5.8m.com>http://k5.8m.com</A> What more is there to life?**
     
  15. fr8train

    fr8train 1/2 ton status

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    Yeah!!!!!! First time I have ever seen the BEAVER stick it to the MAN[​IMG]. And I have the internet.
     
  16. muddin4fun

    muddin4fun 3/4 ton status

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    I would like to shake that guy's hand! That's hilarious!

    <font color=purple>Have you hugged your K5 today?</font color=purple>
     
  17. LittleJimmy

    LittleJimmy 1/2 ton status

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    That's pretty dam funny......
     

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